sciencemum
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LittleMadam
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Honey, you've had a lot go on. Speak to your doctor about counselling sessions because I think you may be at risk of PND.
As you're unhappy with him "forcing his way" in, take back some control. Establish visitation/access and child support now and put it into a contract.
As you are feeling as you do, maybe, it will be best that you NOT name him on the BC. He won't have any rights then unless he takes you to court for them.
I will say this though; my LO's father has shown next-to-no interest in her so it's nice to hear of fathers who do give a damn. And, I am afraid, you are tied to this man but how tied depends on you so establish boundaries/rules for your relationship now.
As you're unhappy with him "forcing his way" in, take back some control. Establish visitation/access and child support now and put it into a contract.
As you are feeling as you do, maybe, it will be best that you NOT name him on the BC. He won't have any rights then unless he takes you to court for them.
I will say this though; my LO's father has shown next-to-no interest in her so it's nice to hear of fathers who do give a damn. And, I am afraid, you are tied to this man but how tied depends on you so establish boundaries/rules for your relationship now.
lou_w34
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First have some 
And secondly, you do have rights! You are the babies mother, and you are going to be a fantastic mummy You have already proved this because you are already thinking about your LO's welfare. Next time he starts spouting about his rights say something like 'While i agree that you have as much right to this baby as me, i am their mother, and your constant demands and being in my face is making me feel unwell as it is putting constant stress on me' And while your at it i would tell him that you are going to be a fantastic mother! Im feel quite angry for you that he told you you would be a bad one!
I found being pregnant the hardest thing ever emotionally, because when you are single, it can be such a lonely and scarey experiance, but trust me, when my LO was here all the feelings of doubt and fear literally melted away. You WILL be able to do this!
I also agree with above that you should deffinatley agree rules via visitation now if you can, or at least a rough guide of what you both would like. Dont let him walk over you, if you think he making unreasonable demands then tell him so, if he starts spouting on about his rights then tell him you also have rights too, and if you were to go to court than the court will favour the mother. Maybe that is what is making him act like he is, perhaps if you show you are willing with the visitations then he will relax a bit and give you some space??
I never read that article, wish i did, sounds interesting!
I also agree that maybe you should have a chat with your midwife, she will help you with how you are feeling, she is there to help afterall
Hope you feel better soon!
xx
And secondly, you do have rights! You are the babies mother, and you are going to be a fantastic mummy
You have already proved this because you are already thinking about your LO's welfare. Next time he starts spouting about his rights say something like 'While i agree that you have as much right to this baby as me, i am their mother, and your constant demands and being in my face is making me feel unwell as it is putting constant stress on me' And while your at it i would tell him that you are going to be a fantastic mother! Im feel quite angry for you that he told you you would be a bad one!I found being pregnant the hardest thing ever emotionally, because when you are single, it can be such a lonely and scarey experiance, but trust me, when my LO was here all the feelings of doubt and fear literally melted away. You WILL be able to do this!
I also agree with above that you should deffinatley agree rules via visitation now if you can, or at least a rough guide of what you both would like. Dont let him walk over you, if you think he making unreasonable demands then tell him so, if he starts spouting on about his rights then tell him you also have rights too, and if you were to go to court than the court will favour the mother. Maybe that is what is making him act like he is, perhaps if you show you are willing with the visitations then he will relax a bit and give you some space??
I never read that article, wish i did, sounds interesting!
I also agree that maybe you should have a chat with your midwife, she will help you with how you are feeling, she is there to help afterall
Hope you feel better soon!
xx
sciencemum
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I am going to be admitted to a mother and baby unit after she is born to help me out a bit and check that I don't go stirr crazy.
It does baffle me that fathers can just walk away and have nothing to do with thier kids and that's fine - frowned upon, but that's about it. However if they want they can also be involved. As a mother we don't get that choice.We cant force them in or out of the childs life.
I do want my baby to know her dad, I don't want to know her dad, not right now, it's too difficult for me, but I wont stop him seeing her, but it is like he calls the shots here.
If i ever said anything then it was because "iwas on medication" or "hormonal" "or pregnant" and I dont think straight, which I do, i really really do. I've just been through a lot and I do find it hard to relate to people and have trouble leaving my house, however I know i can over come this for the baby.
I'm just confused. Im nearing my due date and it's all looming at me.
It does baffle me that fathers can just walk away and have nothing to do with thier kids and that's fine - frowned upon, but that's about it. However if they want they can also be involved. As a mother we don't get that choice.We cant force them in or out of the childs life.
I do want my baby to know her dad, I don't want to know her dad, not right now, it's too difficult for me, but I wont stop him seeing her, but it is like he calls the shots here.
If i ever said anything then it was because "iwas on medication" or "hormonal" "or pregnant" and I dont think straight, which I do, i really really do. I've just been through a lot and I do find it hard to relate to people and have trouble leaving my house, however I know i can over come this for the baby.
I'm just confused. Im nearing my due date and it's all looming at me.
sciencemum
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I have offered him to see her everyother weekend, however that doesnt seem to be good enough for him I honestly thought that was reasonable. We do live 100 miles apart and she will be a newborn. He wants to go to court about it anyway.
LittleMadam
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Make a record of everything you offer him re visitation and any abuse (even verbal and emotional) you receive. I wouldn't worry about court just yet as it may not even happen (it is quite a process) and a court is not likely to favour the father over the mother--all he will get is limited access because LO is a newborn.
Do not let him pressure you into doing anything you do not want to.
Really, I think you should just turn off your phone and email and just ignore him for a while.
Do not let him pressure you into doing anything you do not want to.
Really, I think you should just turn off your phone and email and just ignore him for a while.
