depressed and feeling fed up

[madcatwoman]

I left my job over a year ago, delivering car parts, not everyones cup of tea but it was ok for me as im best working alone and being out and about. The management changed however and it was no longer a nice place to work. So, i returned to college and did a medical secretarial course.

I did the course because it was the sensible thing to do and could lead to a good job,what i never took into account is my social anxiety problem. I got a job at a docs surgery,with the constant queues of people and the phone going no-stop & dealing with both at the same time, i simply couldnt cope, i dreaded each day and eventually left, that was that.

I live in a bad area for work as it is, so i feel really fed up that my choices are really between cleaning or supermarket work, im no further on in life than when i was 18(im 30 now). I know what im good at, im creative, i do photography(i tried weddings but couldnt control the hords of guests)but there are no creative job oppourtunities around here, you have to take whats going, so thats what im doing.

My lack of job/job hunting seems to be all my OHs family want to talk about,everytime i see them,in turn it makes me feel like s**t, im pretty tearful most days. What my inlaws also dont know is that we have started TTC, so i know i could end up getting any old job, then get pregnant and have to leave it again, i can imagine they will be less than impressed once again.

I guess i wish i could change the person i am, be more comfident, outgoing,a peoples person and be competant at a range of jobs, but im not(and i have tried many!).

Ive been to the doctor, he thinks im depressed and has told me to get more exercise.

If you have managed to read through this sob story, i not sure what id like you to say to be honest, i guess im just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

 

[porkypig]

AAH hun, sorry you feel like this. we all go through times when we feel like this and i think it definitely stems from having low self confidence. try not to worry about what people think, i myself always worry aboutwhat other people think and get so stressed out but it never gets me any where. try to do something for yourself, hat makes you feel good. try some exercise, join a class, do a course, go out with friends etc. these things may take your mind off how you are feeling for a little while. what does your oh say? maybe take a litle hol with him or go for a meal xxx good luck hun xxx

 

[madcatwoman]

thankyou porkypig(love the name!)

My husband is quite understanding, he knows i get upset and does his best with me,i think its the feeling that i dont seem to be any good at anything that pays,quite a hopeless feeling, and then for people to keep banging on about the fact that im not working when i see them, its like they cant think of anything else. I know i need to exercise more and will try to make more of an effort, i guess the job thing is just something i cant change, i only hope i make a better mother one day soon (or at least better than my mother).

Thankyou for just taking the time to reply with some kind words xxx

 

[porkypig]

hun, when you become a mother, its the hardest job in the world, trust me, im a secondary school teacher and thought that was a hard job, how wrong i was, that was a walk in the park compared to looking after a baby and im sure you will make a brilliant mum one day. Take care hun xx