I dont know exactly where to start with this, so I guess I'll start from what happened the other day.....this part was posted by me in another thread
My daughter was cutting about a year ago. I felt so bad because as a mother I should know what is going on but after talking to my SIL about it she said that I only know what my daughter wants me to know....which is very true!
Anyway, last night things came to a head and my daughter finally told my SIL why she feels the way she feels and my SIL let my daughter know that she was going to talk to me about it which was fine with her.
You see my eldest has a different dad (donor) to the rest of the girls. I met my husband when she was 2 and she loved Rob right from the beginning and he loves her too. Rob and me never started out own family until eldest was 7+ and her and my husband had already established a relationship by then. Then comes this little baby who my husband loves to bits and eldest sees how different he is with them both. Now we have 3 children together and although hubby is great with the eldest its never going to be the same as it is with the others only because he hasn't been there from the very beginning.
Eldest is finding this very difficult to deal with only because her donor has never been there at all. She doesn't know him and has never met him. She feels very rejected by this and wonders what is wrong with her even though its not her fault. I have been very careful not to bad mouth her donor to her (I have never thought it would be fair of me) but my SIL seems to think that maybe I should, just not about the stuff he did to me....only the things he has done to her and let her know that it only reflects badly on his behalf and that it shouldn't fall on her.
Me and hubby have a plan that she maybe gets to spend some one on one time with him and then some time with just me, Rob and her.
She is happy to go to counselling and we have an appointment set up tomorrow although I dont think she'll talk with me there....I'll have to excuse myself.
We have since met with the councillor and it went very well and now I just feel so relieved that she has asked for help. She is a gorgeous and lovely girl but you know that teens will be teens and bully and bring others down and she takes it to heart and believes them and she ended up carving the word "FAT" into her abdomen last Friday. I felt so gutted and I just burst into tears and I jumped out of my set and grabbed her and just held her. The councillor handed me some tissues. She was also cutting about 6-8 weeks ago which I didn't know about either. Its breaks my heart to think of her in so much pain!!
She will have proper counselling from next week and she will learn some coping mechanisms.
The whole dad thing isn't only whats wrong with her, its also bullying and boys etc.
I told the counsellor about the dad thing today and she said that its great that she has Rob and me on her side to back her up and protect her.
We all love her so much and dont want her to hurt herself anymore. I just want to wrap her in cotton wool and keep her safe in my arms.
Sorry this is so long....just wanted to get it out there.
My daughter was cutting about a year ago. I felt so bad because as a mother I should know what is going on but after talking to my SIL about it she said that I only know what my daughter wants me to know....which is very true!
Anyway, last night things came to a head and my daughter finally told my SIL why she feels the way she feels and my SIL let my daughter know that she was going to talk to me about it which was fine with her.
You see my eldest has a different dad (donor) to the rest of the girls. I met my husband when she was 2 and she loved Rob right from the beginning and he loves her too. Rob and me never started out own family until eldest was 7+ and her and my husband had already established a relationship by then. Then comes this little baby who my husband loves to bits and eldest sees how different he is with them both. Now we have 3 children together and although hubby is great with the eldest its never going to be the same as it is with the others only because he hasn't been there from the very beginning.
Eldest is finding this very difficult to deal with only because her donor has never been there at all. She doesn't know him and has never met him. She feels very rejected by this and wonders what is wrong with her even though its not her fault. I have been very careful not to bad mouth her donor to her (I have never thought it would be fair of me) but my SIL seems to think that maybe I should, just not about the stuff he did to me....only the things he has done to her and let her know that it only reflects badly on his behalf and that it shouldn't fall on her.
Me and hubby have a plan that she maybe gets to spend some one on one time with him and then some time with just me, Rob and her.
She is happy to go to counselling and we have an appointment set up tomorrow although I dont think she'll talk with me there....I'll have to excuse myself.
We have since met with the councillor and it went very well and now I just feel so relieved that she has asked for help. She is a gorgeous and lovely girl but you know that teens will be teens and bully and bring others down and she takes it to heart and believes them and she ended up carving the word "FAT" into her abdomen last Friday. I felt so gutted and I just burst into tears and I jumped out of my set and grabbed her and just held her. The councillor handed me some tissues. She was also cutting about 6-8 weeks ago which I didn't know about either. Its breaks my heart to think of her in so much pain!!
She will have proper counselling from next week and she will learn some coping mechanisms.
The whole dad thing isn't only whats wrong with her, its also bullying and boys etc.
I told the counsellor about the dad thing today and she said that its great that she has Rob and me on her side to back her up and protect her.
We all love her so much and dont want her to hurt herself anymore. I just want to wrap her in cotton wool and keep her safe in my arms.
Sorry this is so long....just wanted to get it out there.
