Depression - what helps?

[greenkat]

Sorry if this is posted in the wrong place -

I'm almost certain that I had PND after my son, although I've never been to the doctors about it because I didn't realize at the time that my thought and behaviors were abnormal. I thought I felt better (had been to work for a few months which had made me feel better and face up to how I was feeling) but now I feel really down again.

I relate it to alot of things - like I'm not working, having really got any friends, very stretched financially, the list goes on.... so I don't feel like I have PND anymore as much as general depression (I cry alot and get easily upset, have little motivation to do anything, moody, ect.) Although my partner is a good guy - I don't feel conected to him anymore. He just keeps saying to me to stop feeling like this and that I'm bringing myself down - just makes me wonder why I'm with him at all.

Thing is I really don't want to go to the docs - I can't face that situation and I REALLY REALLY don't want to go on any meds for it (personal beliefs and choices).

I feel like I'm at a point where I have choices to make in life but I'm stuck.

How do you cope? How do you get away from that down mindset? - Just looking for some personal experiences really if you don't mind sharing??? Or coping mechanisms or advice or something .

 

[Elliebellie]

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I have suffered from depression for a number of years, starting in my teens. Like you, i have always been reluctant to go on anti depressants, as i just don't feel like it is the right choice for me.
I found that keeping a diary of my moods helped me, as it allowed me to start to notice the pattern and triggers that would preceede a low mood. That way, when i had a day like that, i could take steps to relax and cheer myself up, so i would maybe have a bad day as opposed to a bad week. Only you can know your triggers and what can cheer you up.
I'm sorry your oh is having problems understanding, i often forget how hard it is for them to be on the other side of it, not understanding what is making us cry. I wrote a letter to my oh, explaining how i felt and what he could do to help. I found this easier as i couldn't discuss it face to face without crying.
I hope you feel better, sending hugs your way.

 

[twickywabbit]

You aren't alone. I am on an anti depressant, but I don't think it is helping. It is very frustrating because I don't like feeling the way I do, I don't even know why. I figured out that yoga and keeping myself busy with projects helps. I'm sorry you feel this way. Wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemies.

 

[hellohefalump]

Have you ever looked into having Cognative Behaviour Therapy? The principle is basically that you analyse your thoughts and challenge the negative ones. Eg: thought is, 'I am rubbish at everything' so then you think of lots of things that objectively you're not rubbish at.

Another thing, is even when you have no motivation to do anything, it's important to get yourself dressed and out of the house. Even if you don't enjoy it. Because staying in bed is a vicious circle and you just get worse and worse.

Personally, I've suffered from depression since I was twelve. At times it has been so severe I have gone into psychosis and I've been hospitalised for it a few times. For me, therapy works up to a point, but I think my problem is chemical. So I take two medications which work together: an anti depressant (Fluoxetine or Prozac) and an anti psychotic, Olanzapine. I must say... they do an amazing job.

I'm just curious, you don't have to answer me, but why wouldn't you want to try medication?

 

[greenkat]

Thanks for your replies. - I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies either.

- I mostly don't want meds because my mum has been on them for years (decades) and she seems to be stuck taking them. She isn't happy on them but she's also dependent on them, if that makes sense. I don't want to take them unless I really really have to.

I have thought about therapies but to be honest I'm too scared to get that far. I hate going to the doctors - I feel like they would look down on me though in my head I know they wouldn't.

- Just trying to do what you said and get out of bed and get dressed - like one step at a time but some days it's so hard - like what's the point?? - I have no plans, no friends to meet. Just got to take care of the kids and try to forget the rest.

- Hope how i feel is just circumstancial but will have to give it some time and if it's not face up to it.

 

[mummaofthree]

i suffered in silence with PND when i had my son 4 years ago..... when i had my daughter just under 2 years later it got worse..... i now have another beautiful baby, lola..... suffering not only PND but PSTD from leaving a violent relationship...

please dont suffer in silence. go tell your doctor.... ask if your area have a Perinatal Counselling service.... i have this lovely psychological counsellor called norah who has made me feel a million times better....

i dont like the pills, they give me head aches and make me feel a little void.... depression is an illness and like my doc said to me... if you had diabetes youd take insilin..... you do it to get better... so that you can live a better life, not only for yourself but for your children... your family... x

your not alone.... and the good thing is you recognise the symptoms... x

 

[twickywabbit]

Thanks for your replies. - I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies either.

- I mostly don't want meds because my mum has been on them for years (decades) and she seems to be stuck taking them. She isn't happy on them but she's also dependent on them, if that makes sense. I don't want to take them unless I really really have to.

I have thought about therapies but to be honest I'm too scared to get that far. I hate going to the doctors - I feel like they would look down on me though in my head I know they wouldn't.

- Just trying to do what you said and get out of bed and get dressed - like one step at a time but some days it's so hard - like what's the point?? - I have no plans, no friends to meet. Just got to take care of the kids and try to forget the rest.

- Hope how i feel is just circumstancial but will have to give it some time and if it's not face up to it.

Therapy is absolutely wonderful. I have felt so much better starting my sessions.