Depression

[BabyGab]

I am having a hard time combating this...

Any tips on how to just get over it and just be happy??

I never wanted to this alone.. I never thought I'd have to.. I spent the past year and a half of my life inlove and planning a future, a life and a family..

Then I got pregnant and I got dumped..
And the situation just gets worse and worse.. I was apparently just the sideline coz he was still dating his gf of the past 5 years.. And I was stupid enough to believe that I wasnt welcome at his familys house because his mom was best friends with his "x" gf and she didnt approve of anyone else..

Needless to say when I did get pregnant (which I consider a miracle) it didnt fit into his plans..

Ive been on my own for 4 months now and all I do is cry..
I know its not good for baby but I really cant help it and its just not getting any better..
The more I think of the consquences on my child the worse it becomes...

What now?

 

[carolyn_s]

hun, try and stay strong for the sake of your baby aswell as yourself!

do you have anyone you can talk to about it? a close friend or family member perhaps. Have you mentioned it to your Midwife or GP? They will be able to give you appropriate advice and show help you get help if that makes sense!

The best advice i can give is keep a diary. It helped me get everything out without having to say it out loud which i preferred. I read back on my diary now and realise it was an illness and that wasnt me talking! Its hard but there are no quick fixes unfortunately. Try getting out an about as it may sound obvious but fresh air and exercise def helps!!
Feel free to pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to xx

 

[lulu35]

 

[Aidedhoney]

hun, try and stay strong for the sake of your baby aswell as yourself!

do you have anyone you can talk to about it? a close friend or family member perhaps. Have you mentioned it to your Midwife or GP? They will be able to give you appropriate advice and show help you get help if that makes sense!

The best advice i can give is keep a diary. It helped me get everything out without having to say it out loud which i preferred. I read back on my diary now and realise it was an illness and that wasnt me talking! Its hard but there are no quick fixes unfortunately. Try getting out an about as it may sound obvious but fresh air and exercise def helps!!
Feel free to pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to xx

As Caroyln has said keep a diary she gave me the same advice and it helped massivley. helped to write it down, felt you could rant away, i sometimes filled pages with my ramblings.
Great advice xx

 

[surprisebaby]

yeah! i read this book this week called "stop thinking start living" and basically the advice it gives which works very well for depression is to realise that your thoughts are not real and you do not have to follow every train of thought. become aware of each thought that comes into your mind (let them pass like leaves flowing through a river) and if a certain thought makes you feel bad then feel the feeling but do not start thinking more thoughts connected to the first thought if that makes sense because it'll make you feel worse.

so example if you have a thought that said something like "how could x have done that to me?" you would feel bad right? well instead of thinking more painful thoughts like that you just decide to not to analyse or problem solve when you are feeling negative. The idea is that when you quieten your thoughts you will get answers or guidance to your problems, solutions, but when you hear them you'll feel good.

Also if you live in the present, focusing on where you are right in the moment , all those issues are in some way to do with past.

anyway thats what i'm doing right now and its an enormous relief. I would in the last year or so drive myself crazy with thoughts about fob, how i still loved him, and blaming myself etc. but letting go now feels so good.

but different things work for different people at different times. so do what makes you feel better. I know i wasn't moving on till i stopped thinking negatively about my situation and the decisions i was making whilst feeling low where not the best. so in other words best to make decisions when you are tapping to your wisdom rather than your limited thinking mind......

i really hope that all makes sense. reading the book might be worth a try. good luck x

 

[lal]

This guy has kicked you right in the self-esteem. I know the feeling...something that helps me is reading stories like the ones on this site, where people can look back and be glad they didn't end up with the father of their child. It seems like the world is ending right now, but according to everyone that has already been through this situation - it is just beginning, and the toughest part is right now. Hang in there doll, it will get better! And it makes me feel better to know that HE will be the one feeling like this someday, when me and his son are happily part of a family that doesn't include him. You gotta have faith in karma

 

[BabyGab]

Thank you so much ladies...