Devastated!!! Lost my best friend.

[britt1986]

We have decided to part ways. After 3 years she selfishly sprung on me that she would rather just stay home with her kids and never go out and do anything with anyone. Mind you, her kids are 17 and 20. The 20 year old has a child of her own. The 17 year old lives with his dad and on the weekends goes to her house wheil the 20 year old still lives at home, has no job, and mooches off her mother. I am pissed and sad at the same time. This has got to be the most selfish thing I have ever heard in my life. A grown ass woman would rather be with her grown children 24/7 and have no life or friends. Thats just pathetic. She lost a damn good person. I am a good friend. I just don't know what to think anymore.

 

[supertabby]

She sounds like she could be depressed? Maybe she's anxious they will both leave home soon and stop seeing her, so she's trying to cling on?

 

[britt1986]

I'm not sure what is wrong. She basically told me she no longer wants me in her life. I don't know what to do. I love her like she was my sister. I just don't understand how she could do this. :'-(

 

[Eidson23]

I'm not sure what is wrong. She basically told me she no longer wants me in her life. I don't know what to do. I love her like she was my sister. I just don't understand how she could do this. :'-(

Hate to say it but I would still keep tabs on her and show her you're not giving up if you love her that much. Working for 7+ years for a police dept that is a huge red flag...to push your friends away. She could be struggling with something pretty serious...

 

[sunshine114]

I agree, it sounds to me like there is something going on, especially if you haven't had an argument or anything. I think I'd step back but keep an eye from afar - could you try talking to either of her children to find out what's going on?

 

[tina3747]

I think I'd be trying to find the root of the problem rather than getting pissed off with her.
I think you've either upset her in some way or like a pp said she may have depression problems? I can't imagine anyone needing to sever a friendship in such an abrupt way, you just find excuses otherwise rather than to say completly you don't want to be friends anymore.
Ask her outright if you've upset her in anyway or that your worried there's something deeper going on.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I agree with the others, if this has come out of no where then I wouldn't take it at face value. She could be in an abusive relationship (with a partner or a mother-child relationship) and being made to alienate herself, she could be depressed, she could be going through the menopause and suffering severely with her hormones. I completely get why you're hurt- I'd be devestated if my friend suddenly cut me off. But if you honestly don't think you've done anything to cause it then it sounds like something is wrong and she needs you- now or down the line.

 

[smileyfaces]

Is this a serious post? How is it selfish? Just because it is an inconvenience to you doesnt make her selfish at all! Or pathetic for that matter!

 

[Bittersweet]

Agree definately try and keep tabs in her Hun sounds like there us a serious underlying issue s

 

[Bevziibubble]

Tbh I don't think it's selfish that she wants to spend all her time with her kids. However I do think that she could be depressed if she is isolating all others as much as you say. It would be worth trying to stay friends as it's odd it's ended like this.

 

[jd83]

Agree with the others, I would try to keep tabs from afar for now, let her know you are there if she needs you. Sounds like there could be something going on causing her to be so abrupt in ending a friendship, and isolating herself, whether depression, abusive relationship, hormonal changes, whatever. Just give her space, and continue to be there if/when she needs a friend.

 

[BellaBoo0512]

It sounds to me like your friend is depressed in some way. I went through something similar with my best friend a few years ago and it turned out she was pushing Me away because she was suicidal. If this lady means as much as you say she does, never give up on her. This could be a serious cry for help.

 

[lhancock90]

Perhaps she just doesn't want to be a part of the friendship? Perhaps its an excuse? Perhaps she does just want to focus on her family?

If she wants to end the friendship that's her prerogative but i would probably contact her and see how she is? Once a week maybe? Just a text.

 

[britt1986]

I would have to agree with everyone. And to the woman asking if this was a serious post....the answer is yes. I was so upset, thats why I called the situation selfish. I will be watching from afar and make sure everything is ok. I don't know if it is depression or what, but she has changed so much. I'll give her her space and be there if she needs a friend.

 

[britt1986]

I would have to agree with everyone. And to the woman asking if this was a serious post....the answer is yes. I was so upset, thats why I called the situation selfish. I will be watching from afar and make sure everything is ok. I don't know if it is depression or what, but she has changed so much. I'll give her her space and be there if she needs a friend.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Tbh I don't think it's selfish that she wants to spend all her time with her kids. However I do think that she could be depressed if she is isolating all others as much as you say. It would be worth trying to stay friends as it's odd it's ended like this.

Agree.

 

[tverb84]

Last year a friend and I parted ways because of what she said to me last January. We tried to be friends again a few months after it happened but it just wasn't meant to be.

 

[Boomerslady]

I'm sorry you're upset OP

Just a thought, but did you say her daughter and grandchild love with her? Could it be that she's taking a lot of responsibility for the grandchild? We all know what it's like to look after a young child, perhaps she's tired/busy doing more than you're aware of and is so focused on the grandchild that she doesn't have time for anything else.

 

[Noodlebear]

There could be something wrong but she might just want to spend more time with her family. I really don't see how that's selfish and tbh I think it's pretty awful and very childish of you to say that it's pathetic.

 

[Ceejay123]

It sounds like somethings wrong, or somethings going on... Maybe theres more to this! You obviously care, so I would watch from afar..

However, I think .. for your own sake you also need to distance yourself emotionally. I've lost friends I cared about, its very hard... No matter how much you care and want to have a friendship with them for that reason, if they're pushing you away for whatever reason you need to protect yourself sometimes. x