devastated

[Dawn2411]

Not sure if I'm supposed to post something like this here so please forgive me if I'm in the wrong spot. Anyway, I'm so sad right now and can't stop crying. I had a positive urine pregnancy test done on mon, and blood drawn tues. which was also positive. But somewhere between tue. morning and this morning, something has happened and i'm loosing another baby. I took a test this morning because I started spotting and you can barley see the second line anymore. I don't understand why this keeps happening to me.... What did I do to deserve this? Hubby says he dosen't want to try again because it hurts him to much to see me so devestated. I feel like such a fool because I told everyone when I should have waited until I was at least 3 mos. I know I should be thankfull for the 4 heathy children I have and I am thankfull but I don't understand how some one can have 4 healthy kids and then loose 3 pregnancies in a row. We wanted this so bad and now my sweet baby is gone.

 

[anorak]

I am so sorry. I have a feeling I have this heartache to come (trying for my first at 35). I know nothing anyone can say can take away the pain honey. Give your children a hug and please try to smile. Things may happen for a reason and you may have your bright shining star sooner rather than later. Much love.

 

[Elski]

 

[marathongirl]

Not sure if I'm supposed to post something like this here so please forgive me if I'm in the wrong spot. Anyway, I'm so sad right now and can't stop crying. I had a positive urine pregnancy test done on mon, and blood drawn tues. which was also positive. But somewhere between tue. morning and this morning, something has happened and i'm loosing another baby. I took a test this morning because I started spotting and you can barley see the second line anymore. I don't understand why this keeps happening to me.... What did I do to deserve this? Hubby says he dosen't want to try again because it hurts him to much to see me so devestated. I feel like such a fool because I told everyone when I should have waited until I was at least 3 mos. I know I should be thankfull for the 4 heathy children I have and I am thankfull but I don't understand how some one can have 4 healthy kids and then loose 3 pregnancies in a row. We wanted this so bad and now my sweet baby is gone.

I am so sorry.
I can relate to your pain as I have also had 3 losses in a row. I had a chemical which is what they would call what you just had. You get a really positive pregnancy test to only lose it 2-3 days later. Then a MMC at 12 weeks right after that and then another chemical the next cycle. Needless to say devastated can't even describe how you feel. I have been searching everything in the Internet to see if there is more I can do. The most frustrating thing is that I mostly get "what do you expect you're 42" Thanks for that just in case I forgot my age.
I hope you keep trying. I know I will. I know dh doesn't understand either, he thought as soon as I went off BC we would get pregnant! Yeah rightPlease know we are with you and you're not alone

 

[SabrinaKat]

The ladies down in losses-miscarriage are brilliant if you want some more sympathy/advice, just in case -- (ladies here are lovely too!)

as for age? I had a mc at 41 and was told 'it's your age', and after two years trying to conceive (and two heartbreaking chemicals), am again pregnant and on the countdown to baby in mid- to late- february. Just get as healthy as you can, and remember it only takes 1 good egg!

best wishes (and am so sorry...)

 

[marathongirl]

The ladies down in losses-miscarriage are brilliant if you want some more sympathy/advice, just in case -- (ladies here are lovely too!)

as for age? I had a mc at 41 and was told 'it's your age', and after two years trying to conceive (and two heartbreaking chemicals), am again pregnant and on the countdown to baby in mid- to late- february. Just get as healthy as you can, and remember it only takes 1 good egg!

best wishes (and am so sorry...)

Thanks so much for the reassurance. You give us all hope. I hate the "it's your age" thing good luck with everything

 

[Dawn2411]

I have got that "it's your age" thing to, "your eggs aren't as good as they used to be". The doctor that confermed my pregnancy last week said, "are you going to continue to have more kids after this one?" I said "why do you ask? My husband supports our children, not you." Yes she offended me, luckily she isn't my regular doctor. I also have gotten "well at least you already have 4 healthy children" which makes me feel like I don't deserve another. I am thankful I have 4 and I'm thankful I have girl, boy, girl, boy. Yes Im blessed but that dosen't mean I shouldn't be blessed again. I just turned 40 but had my first m/c at 36 after 4 healthy kids and no m/c's before that. Dh says we will disscuss trying again when the pain of this m/c is no longer so raw for us. I hope you are all right and I will get another sweet baby soon. Thank you all for the encouraging words and it's so good to hear that others have had success. I hope we all get what we are after in the end. Good luck ladies and thank you for listening to me.

 

[Sus09]

Dawn it seems that you had a chemical pregnancy... I went through it in the new year.
So sorry to hear... I feel your pain, it is devastating

 

[marathongirl]

I have got that "it's your age" thing to, "your eggs aren't as good as they used to be". The doctor that confermed my pregnancy last week said, "are you going to continue to have more kids after this one?" I said "why do you ask? My husband supports our children, not you." Yes she offended me, luckily she isn't my regular doctor. I also have gotten "well at least you already have 4 healthy children" which makes me feel like I don't deserve another. I am thankful I have 4 and I'm thankful I have girl, boy, girl, boy. Yes Im blessed but that dosen't mean I shouldn't be blessed again. I just turned 40 but had my first m/c at 36 after 4 healthy kids and no m/c's before that. Dh says we will disscuss trying again when the pain of this m/c is no longer so raw for us. I hope you are all right and I will get another sweet baby soon. Thank you all for the encouraging words and it's so good to hear that others have had success. I hope we all get what we are after in the end. Good luck ladies and thank you for listening to me.

I have also had the "be thankful for what you have" line which also drives me crazy No one should even say things like that. They don't know how badly you want to have a sweet baby. For me it will be the first with DH as I had my DD and DS with my first husband. As you can imagine we both want this more than anything. I think the fact that you already have had children makes it more likely for you. Also honestly I don't think of 40 as being old at all Good luck and hopefully we both get our BFP's soon

 

[Bonnie1990]

I have got that "it's your age" thing to, "your eggs aren't as good as they used to be". The doctor that confermed my pregnancy last week said, "are you going to continue to have more kids after this one?" I said "why do you ask? My husband supports our children, not you." Yes she offended me, luckily she isn't my regular doctor. I also have gotten "well at least you already have 4 healthy children" which makes me feel like I don't deserve another. I am thankful I have 4 and I'm thankful I have girl, boy, girl, boy. Yes Im blessed but that dosen't mean I shouldn't be blessed again. I just turned 40 but had my first m/c at 36 after 4 healthy kids and no m/c's before that. Dh says we will disscuss trying again when the pain of this m/c is no longer so raw for us. I hope you are all right and I will get another sweet baby soon. Thank you all for the encouraging words and it's so good to hear that others have had success. I hope we all get what we are after in the end. Good luck ladies and thank you for listening to me.

Wow. I can't believe that your doctor said that to you! Hugs to you and dh.

 

[VIKK1]

 

[Milliesun]

Really sorry for your loss. As people have said, you had a chemical pregnancy.

I had one of these, then a mc at 10 weeks. I was devastated, but the fact that I was conceiving kept be going and gave me hope. It's not just an age thing, as when you start talking about mc's, you realise just how common they are in women of all ages.

Also with the invention of early pregnancy tests, women are getting a positive pregnancy test, when in the past they would not have known as AF would have shown up (a couple of days late). This causes heartache.


It was third time lucky for me and I gave birth to my gorgeous daughter at the ripe old age of 40!

Really hope all works out for you. I used to go on the mc thread and the ladies really helped me.

Hugs x

 

[momof5wants1]

I'm 41 and without a single test my doctor told me I didn't need anything to help me get pregnant, just gotta keep trying. My mother tells me I have had more than enough kids, since I have 5 girls. Of course, she said that after the 2nd one too. I will keep trying and using herbs since none of the doctors want to help. After 7 m/c I'm still optimistic but starting to lose faith.

 

[Hope3]

I really feel for you. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better so I'll remember you in my prayers.

I'm 41 ttc#1 and miscarried at 5 weeks. People were generally nice but I don't feel the medical staff I encountered were helpful. When I initially told my GP I was pregnant he was almost dismissive and said I shouldn't get too excited and start telling people (we did).

I had spotting a couple of days later and saw a locum GP, he said it's normal but if it gets worse to go to the A&E and ask for the early pregnancy unit. A couple of days after that the spotting increased and I did as the locum said but A&E were rubbish. One doctor even said to me that my tests showed that I was "faintly pregnant" -( I still feel like slapping him for that one and it's been 4 months already.) The scanner at the EPU wasn't available at weekends and I had to wait until the following Wednesday by which time the miscarriage was almost complete.

Coincidentally as I was lying in bed at home when it was all happening a programme came on the radio saying how common miscarriage was and that for women in their 40s 1 in 2 pregnancies will miscarry. How depressing but miracles still happen right?

I really hope things come good for you in the end.

 

[Milliesun]

Oh I hate reading statistics! Although I had a look at tommys and the 1 in 2 is for women 45 plus. Although if you look at it positively 1 in 2 will NOT miscarry!

The fact that you are managing to conceive is a good sign ( although I know how awful a mc is). Good luck!

 

[Dawn2411]

Thank you every one. I really appreciate your kind words, prayers and advice. I am sorry for everone who has also suffered losses amd I hope we all get our sticky little beans soon I started using the opk's again as soon as I stopped bleeding and got a positive 8 days after, usually I don't get a positve until 10-11 days after a/f. We have been trying like crazy so hopefully we got it right and this one will stick