Devestated

[baby9]

Well, OH had been acting very suspuciously for the last month or so. He went out tonight to see a friend, so I thought I'd do a little digging and log into his facebook. Long story short, I saw he'd been talking to a friend about how he was going to meet up with his ex. Nothing specific about what they have been doing though.
I rung him up and he came straight to mine (despite me telling him I didn't wany to see him). He kept denying it, saying she had persued him and he hadn't gone to see her becayse he knew it was wrong. He left and I messaged this girl asking how many times she had met up with him. I made out like OH had told me some things whivh I wanted to double check. (basically tricked her into confessing). She saud they had met twice. I print screened the conversation and sent it to OH. He rang back saying it was all lies and that he would drive round to confront her blah blah...he put up such a fight that my mum started to feel sorry for him and said I shpuldn't jump to conclusions in future. Well he rung up ten minutes later to say that yes, it was all true. B*stard.
What hurts the most is that he left me in HIS BED on saturday to go and meet her.
I came round to give him an earful and he was crying and hugging his mum...I almost felt sorry for the little rat.
Both the ex and OH claim that "nothing happened" but I don't believe that after all the lying tonight.
I've told him that we will sort things out but that won't happen. He's blown it this time. How could he leave me in his bed while he went off to visit his ex at 1am?!! To say my family are disgusted is an understatement. Lying ratbag.

 

[jesssika]

Aw no what a disgusting thing for him to do! Men can be such pigs!!! Especially an ex... Well I'm glad you're not taking any shit from him, stay strong darling

 

[Otis]

I'm so sorry hun. I don't understand why people do those sort of things, and can't respect other people's relationships. It's really just quite pathetic on both of their ends. Message me if you need to.

 

[MommyGrim]

I'm so sorry! What a total asshat!

 

[baby9]

Thanks girls x

 

[george83]

Sweetie I'm so sorry he's done this to you. My husband treated me like shit when I was pregnant doing basically the same as your oh has -although I still don't believe nothing happened with my husband. I hope you have the support and strength to get through this your braver than I was x x x

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I'm sorry to hear this

 

[baby9]

Thanks girls. His mum has sort of convinced me to give things a go for the sake of our child...but I'm not sure I even want to be with him anymore. I've barely been upset by what has happened. I feel relieved in a way. He's been so horrible and unsupportive for the past 4/5 months that I feel that things have all come to a head and it's time to call it a day. I don't think there's much of a relationship left to "try" for. If it wasnt for oue child then I definitely would have ended things. Just wondering how long it will be before his next trick. xx

 

[17pregnant]

I am so sorry to hear that. No one deserves that, especially when your carrying his child Stay strong and do what's best for you and your LO xx

 

[skyesmom]

Thanks girls. His mum has sort of convinced me to give things a go for the sake of our child...but I'm not sure I even want to be with him anymore. I've barely been upset by what has happened. I feel relieved in a way. He's been so horrible and unsupportive for the past 4/5 months that I feel that things have all come to a head and it's time to call it a day. I don't think there's much of a relationship left to "try" for. If it wasnt for oue child then I definitely would have ended things. Just wondering how long it will be before his next trick. xx

sorry to hear he's blown in this way BUT.... if he was unsupportive for the last 4/5 months, this incident might have shook him now to realize what his real priorities in life are (trust me, men sometimes NEED shit like this to shake the mess in their own heads... they are so much more lost and confused with their own feelings compared to women, that sometimes they are just like kids. which is exactly why we are having babies, not them! and he doesn't have a baby&hormones inside of him to make him clear and strong beyond any of his means, you do!).

it is also very good that you feel relieved and that you got some things off your heart that were bothering you from the past months, that's a great place to be! but that feeling can also wear off in a few weeks and then you may realize that when the dust has settled, you still may want him in your life as your baby's daddy and your man.

i think if nothing, this could be the beginning of a great new life and relationship for both of you. your kid deserves it too, and his family is supportive of you, so you really do have an honest chance to fix things here.

i mean, if you were to screw up one day in the future (because we ALL sometime screw it up big time, sooner or later), and do something thoughtless like this although you do love him, you would still like to have a second chance for a change. and mind that, the second chance, a real second chance, needs a break like this before it starts.

i wish all the best to all three of you!

 

[baby9]

Thanks ladies. This isn't the first time he has done something stupid. I caught him talking to an ex Christmas 2011 after he had denied that they were still in contact. That same week a friend tokd me that apparently he had slept with a different ex and that this was the reason he broke up with mw (we had a two week break in the November 2011 and i found all of this out on xmas eve 2011). So he really isnt the nost trustworthy of people. He denies sleeping with that ex tobthis day but im still notbsure that i believe him.
Then last summer i went away for a week with my family. I came home and went round to a friends house, there were three of us there and oh was coming after work. Somebody made a comment about drugs and one of the friends let slip that they he had tried some coke during the week i was away. I knew instantly that oh would have been in on this. When he arrived i confronted him outside the hoyse and he denied it for a good ten mins before admitting it. I told him we were through because i couldnt believe him anymore and i was disgusted at what hed done. Evebtually, i gave him another chance.
He used to go on work nights out all of the time and he would tell me he was at home...then somebody would check him in on facebook and it woyld be clear that he was not at home, but was in fact out. Its the lying i cant stand. If he wanted to go out with work friends then i really wouldnt care...itsbthe lying i hate.

So now this is just the final straw. Reading back over this post i cant believe ive put up with him. If he has no respect for me, then its my own fault for being such a doormat and theres only me who can change that!
Xx

 

[ShakeItBaby1]

Thanks ladies. This isn't the first time he has done something stupid. I caught him talking to an ex Christmas 2011 after he had denied that they were still in contact. That same week a friend tokd me that apparently he had slept with a different ex and that this was the reason he broke up with mw (we had a two week break in the November 2011 and i found all of this out on xmas eve 2011). So he really isnt the nost trustworthy of people. He denies sleeping with that ex tobthis day but im still notbsure that i believe him.
Then last summer i went away for a week with my family. I came home and went round to a friends house, there were three of us there and oh was coming after work. Somebody made a comment about drugs and one of the friends let slip that they he had tried some coke during the week i was away. I knew instantly that oh would have been in on this. When he arrived i confronted him outside the hoyse and he denied it for a good ten mins before admitting it. I told him we were through because i couldnt believe him anymore and i was disgusted at what hed done. Evebtually, i gave him another chance.
He used to go on work nights out all of the time and he would tell me he was at home...then somebody would check him in on facebook and it woyld be clear that he was not at home, but was in fact out. Its the lying i cant stand. If he wanted to go out with work friends then i really wouldnt care...itsbthe lying i hate.

So now this is just the final straw. Reading back over this post i cant believe ive put up with him. If he has no respect for me, then its my own fault for being such a doormat and theres only me who can change that!
Xx

You are definitely the only one who can change it! Before my current boyfriend (the father of my child) got together, I'd been with some horribly guys! One who couldn't quit drinking every night and smoking RIDICULOUS amounts of weed to be with me. After that, I was with a very controlling guy and felt like a prisoner. He would go out until all hours of the morning, turn his phone off, leave me at home, come home completely drunk and get mad when I was LIVID he had the audacity to wake me and demand sex. My current bf has done his share of dirt. The baby I'm currently pregnant with is his 2nd, and his other baby's mother is HORRID! She uses their son as a bartering chip and everything. Says horrible things about me, etc. When his first son was born (3 months premature) he was visiting him in the hospital and admitted he'd cheated on me and had kissed her. I was completely shattered. They'd broken up because she'd cheated on him before his son was born. Well, since finding out I'm pregnant,
OH has been fairly supportive. She's been completely cut out of the picture, and he refuses to be her little puppy dog anymore. She tried to tell my OH he had to be at her house to visit their son! Ridiculous. I hope things get better for you two! For the sake of your sanity and your child. But you also have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve!

 

[iluvmyfamily]

Hey honey. I think you're doing the right thing by leaving him. Your mom, or maybe his mom, may try to get you to change your mind for the sake of your baby, and maybe even out of embarrassment, but it's your life and therefore, your future. What if you give him another chance and end up marrying him and he cheats on you? Or uses drugs and you find out about it? Don't put yourself plus your baby in that kind of situation. You're way better off on your own if you're only gonna be disappointed all the time while being with him.

Good luck and I think you'll be just fine

 

[TwilightAgain]

I'm so sorry, what an ass he is! I'd be furious with your Mum for siding with him too.

Good on you for sticking to your guns.

 

[baby9]

Oh she's definitely not siding with him now she knows he was lying lol. She's fuming! I'm just seeing how things go for now, not making any final decisions just yet. Thanks for all your replies xx

 

[TriChick]

Ummm, drop him. Seriously. If he does "change" (sorry to say, but more often than not men don't despite the fairy tales you hear) it will be in response to your total absence. Staying with him and forgiving him will only reassure him that, while you will be angry at his indiscretions, you aren't going to leave him. He won't change if he knows you are going to stay. I think us women are always quick to chalk up a man's bad actions to stupidity and immaturity. Unless he's an idiot, he knows he was wrong while he committed those acts, and he knew the effect that it would have on you. He chose to go through with them anyway. Furthermore, if a father demonstrates a pattern of infidelity, their child will many times adopt the same habits. Personally, I would not wait around to see if he magically transforms into Prince Charming. You might be waiting a while hun


Sorry to butt in I just know how much it sucks to wait around for things to change, and regret it down the line.

 

[Foxy37]

Your a strong lady well done for sticking to your guns . Why would any one go out at 1am that makes no sense .xxx