DH crying!?!

[lonate]

Ok here's how DH and I's conversations usually go when it comes to talking about TTC. He usually says "It is going to happen. Don't be negative. We will get pregnant." He usually just doesn't have a whole lot to say when I cry and vent. Sometimes I get so upset and tell him that he just doesnt care as much as I do. He tells me that he does think about TTC and he wishes just as bad as I do that we would be pregnant. He just doesn't vocalize it like I do.

So last night we went to bad and I was almost asleep and I kind of felt the bed shaking on his side. I finally realized he was crying!! I asked him what was wrong and at first he said nothing. After a second time of me asking he said, "I wish you were pregnant. That's all." I honestly was in shock. After almost 2 years of TTC he has never done this. I kept asking if he was for sure that was all that he was upset about and he said yes. He said he has just been thinking about it all the time and it makes him sad. Of course that broke my heart and made me upset and then I couldnt' sleep all night because I couldn't get TTC out of my head.

Anyway, I don't like seeing him upset at all. But, at least now I know that I am not the only one in the marriage going through this. Just wanted to vent!!

--Lesley

 

[Barneyboo]

Just wanted to give you x x x x x x

 

[chefamy1122]

awwww.. You know, guys like to to bottle up their feelings a lot, and even though it is really sad he was crying, it is nice to know he does think about it!
I know my DH said he is used to be the "problem solver" for everything, and he knows that infertility is something he can't really solve, and that bothers him.

 

[Coffee]

It choked me up reading this!
Why is it that seeing a man crying is so much worse than a woman? It is for me anyway.
It's good he's let it out i guess and in a really weird sort of way good that you know you're not the only one feeling the pain of TTC in your relationship, even though you wouldn't want to see him upset.

 

[Beckic]

Lots of to both of you.

Bx x x x

 

[Younglutonmum]

Huge to you both

Hope you get your soon!!

xxxxx

 

[jobee2222]

I guess it hurts more to see a man cry cos they rarely ever do it, we women can have a bad day and cry where as for men it takes much more than that. But atleast he's on your side.

 

[CareBear]

Aww bless him, I hope he feels better soon. I have found that my hubby has been really disappointed on some of my cycles than I have cause he's really thought its worked that month and it always shocks me as the months that I'm really upset he's so strong and tells me it will happen dont be too upset so its like they can only show their real feelings when they feel you are coping - does that make sense? Though of we course we girls would like it if they howled at the same time as us so we could share and talk about it at the same time!

 

[loopylew]

awww hun, hope you are both ok, me and my hubby went through a patch like this esp when he felt really under pressure and couldn't "perform". We're back on track now but i think sometimes we don't realise the pressure we are putting on DH's. Each month my DH thinks that "this could be the month" despite me saying but we're 7 dpo and im spotting etc etc. I think sometimes men have no idea about where in our cycles we are etc

 

[DaisyDuke]

It choked me up reading this!
Why is it that seeing a man crying is so much worse than a woman? It is for me anyway.
It's good he's let it out i guess and in a really weird sort of way good that you know you're not the only one feeling the pain of TTC in your relationship, even though you wouldn't want to see him upset.

Chocked me up to, bless him

 

[lonate]

awww hun, hope you are both ok, me and my hubby went through a patch like this esp when he felt really under pressure and couldn't "perform". We're back on track now but i think sometimes we don't realise the pressure we are putting on DH's. Each month my DH thinks that "this could be the month" despite me saying but we're 7 dpo and im spotting etc etc. I think sometimes men have no idea about where in our cycles we are etc

OMG!! We have had the "performance" problem as well. His urologist gives us free packets of Levitra(like Viagra..and it works!). He doesn't have a physical problem. He is perfectly normal but feels so under pressure sometimes when we HAVE to BD. We only use the Levitra for emergency situations (when it is critical that we BD and he can't "perform"). Last cycle we didn't have any and he had one of those episodes. He ended up performing (sorry TMI) but that was after like 2 hours and me crying and what not. I know that makes the pressure so much worse when I get upset but sometimes I can't help it. He gets mad and I get mad.

Anyway, I am just glad that someone else has went through that as well!!! Thanks and I hope you get your too!

--Lesley

 

[loopylew]

awww hun, hope you are both ok, me and my hubby went through a patch like this esp when he felt really under pressure and couldn't "perform". We're back on track now but i think sometimes we don't realise the pressure we are putting on DH's. Each month my DH thinks that "this could be the month" despite me saying but we're 7 dpo and im spotting etc etc. I think sometimes men have no idea about where in our cycles we are etc

OMG!! We have had the "performance" problem as well. His urologist gives us free packets of Levitra(like Viagra..and it works!). He doesn't have a physical problem. He is perfectly normal but feels so under pressure sometimes when we HAVE to BD. We only use the Levitra for emergency situations (when it is critical that we BD and he can't "perform"). Last cycle we didn't have any and he had one of those episodes. He ended up performing (sorry TMI) but that was after like 2 hours and me crying and what not. I know that makes the pressure so much worse when I get upset but sometimes I can't help it. He gets mad and I get mad.



Anyway, I am just glad that someone else has went through that as well!!! Thanks and I hope you get your too!

--Lesley

Definately ive been through all them emotions, laid beside him when he wasn't interested or couldn't perform, being so frustrated and not knowing whether to be mad or say "it doesn't matter" when he knows it does. MY DH tried some herbal viagra which works 12 hours later when he was at work which brought light into the situation, we seem to have got through that now, i don't go on about temping or my monitor readings, i just tell him when we are high and peak days, we agreed to BD every other day on high and both peak days , this has stopped a lot of the pressure when your both tired

 

[Omi]

Oh, sweetie,

i can so relate to your post. My oh only actually cried after i mc but i have seen him whince when i tell him ive got af after.

We also have the problem of not an exactly over-active sex life (although very good- just not prolific ). Oh too finds it a bit difficult to perform on command although i try to remind him way in advance just so he doesnt find it being sprung on him, lol! He doesnt do bad though, i just wish it was more and easier cause i worry about it!

I try to keep faith in the fact that i did conceive at the age of 37, (nearly 38 ) naturally after only having sex twice, the last being the night before i got a + on my cbfm.

Dont give up hope, hun!!!

 

[akamummy]

Oh Darl......even though we did get our we went through the same thing with TTC....and the performing on tap as it were!.....so we ended up just doing it every second day after AF had finished and although I said to him when I thought I was OV (clear CM)...if he felt like it we
But guys are funny creatures, we put so much faith in their "abilities" andtheir strength that when things colapse a little, its such a shock to us! well it was to me
Hope you understand what I mean!

 

[tansey]

Ahh Bless - wish you loads of luck xx

 

[Sinead]

to both you and your dh

 

[wannabmum]

huni it is so difficult and I'm so sorry u n DH have to go threw this, before we knew our only option was IVF /ICSI Bd became such a chore it was hard with my DH he always felt he had to b strong but has broken down a few times he blames himself that we don't get preg and that I going threw all this but I just have to reasure him It is our problem as a couple and that I want a family with HIM just b there for each other hoping u get ur soon.


xxxx

 

[hopeful4baby]

I also thought my DH wasn't upset as I was. but I know now he's suffering the same way as I do, but on top of all that, he's trying to be supportive and strong for me. I love him!

 

[Suzanne]

Aww hun, at least you know your not alone on this journey! I know it must be tough hearing your DH like this but your in it together and with the support of eachother im sure you will get that