DH frustrated with me

[LunarSpoon]

After struggles with latching early on, I am hellbent on continuing to EBF our son for as long as possible.He has never been a great sleeper and there have been a few nights in the past where DH has given him a few ounces of organic formula so I can get a 3-4 hour chunk of sleep.

Anytime we've done this, it's been because I am so exhausted I can't see straight and absolutely NEED sleep and don't pump/store regularly. Even then, I always fight DH on giving our son a bottle and struggle internally with it immensely. After working so hard to establish a healthy breastfeeding relationship, the last thing I want to do is interfere with LO's routine and/or confuse my milk supply. This drives my husband insane! He sees no harm in supplementation now and then.

Tonight he suggests a 3 oz bottle to "top off" our kiddo before bed. I decline, since lately I've been nursing him right before bedtime and it works well. I started explaining an interesting article I read earlier today about growth spurts and the potentially negative affects of supplementation in those time periods, and DH totally shut me down and didn't want to hear anything I had to say. Needless to say, I'm a little butthurt! I am not one of those crazy women that goes overboard with stuff... I'm just determined to provide what I believe is best for my child and preserve what we've worked so hard for!

Ugh. Sorry for the mini-rant... anyone else deal with SO's, friends, family etc that constantly suggest FF or supplementation? I swear everyone is constantly trying to get me to feed him formula to "fill him up" and make him sleep!

 

[caitlyn2009]

I come from a family, both my side and OHs, where babies are formula fed from the very beginning. With my daughter I pumped and bottle fed for 6 weeks and then switched to formula. With my new son... I am determined to do whatever it takes to make breastfeeding work. We are only 8 days in and I have had comments from both sides of the family already about formula. My mil informed me that he only "needs" breastmilk for a month or so and my Gma just doesn't understand why he can't have a pacifier... her babies took a bottle and pacifier both and did just fine. It is very frustrating but always remember that you are the Mom and you know best. Yes, Daddy deserves some input but it is your body doing all the work and therefore I feel the decision should always be yours. Hopefully things will get easier and your OH will realize there is no need for supplementation.

 

[noon_child]

Could you get a health professional to talk to him - would he "shut them down" as rudely.

 

[purplecupcake]

Why not start pumping so he can give breastmilk?

Also, tell him that "topping off" or feeding more than 3 ounces at a time us a big no no as breast fed babies consistently only eat an average of 3oz per feed (even older babies) so giving more and more will only stretch the stomach and lead to a never ending cycle of having to be topped off with formula.

 

[staralfur]

I used to get that all the time from all directions. I just stuck to my guns. It went away after she started feeling less, so hang in there. I think at one point I just said that it was a decision I was going to make because I was the one that did the feeding.

 

[FarmMom]

My husband has never suggested formula but he has given her bottles of my milk. He's probably just trying to help. You could always pump some milk to have on hand in case you do get too tired so your husband doesn't have to give formula.

 

[Itsychik]

Also, tell him that "topping off" or feeding more than 3 ounces at a time us a big no no as breast fed babies consistently only eat an average of 3oz per feed (even older babies) so giving more and more will only stretch the stomach and lead to a never ending cycle of having to be topped off with formula.

This! My DS was combi-fed because I had a low supply, so he got breast milk and formula. I remember when he was going through a growth spurt and at one point was taking 7 - 8 ounces in a bottle! I was only able to pump 2ish oz max and was so disheartened.

It wasn't until my DD was born (who has been successfully ebf until now) that I've realized that by offering more and more formula that's exactly how my DS had gotten used to eating more. When I went back to work and we started giving my DD a bottle she was satisfied with only 2-3 oz in the beginning (and now she only takes 4oz, where as my DS was at double this by now). It was a definite eye opener for me!

My advice if you give a bottle would definitely be to keep it a small amount (like 2 - 3 oz) or only as much as you're able to pump at first just so you get an idea of how much to give him.

You're doing a great job though!

 

[misspriss]

Also, tell him that "topping off" or feeding more than 3 ounces at a time us a big no no as breast fed babies consistently only eat an average of 3oz per feed (even older babies) so giving more and more will only stretch the stomach and lead to a never ending cycle of having to be topped off with formula.

This! My DS was combi-fed because I had a low supply, so he got breast milk and formula. I remember when he was going through a growth spurt and at one point was taking 7 - 8 ounces in a bottle! I was only able to pump 2ish oz max and was so disheartened.

It wasn't until my DD was born (who has been successfully ebf until now) that I've realized that by offering more and more formula that's exactly how my DS had gotten used to eating more. When I went back to work and we started giving my DD a bottle she was satisfied with only 2-3 oz in the beginning (and now she only takes 4oz, where as my DS was at double this by now). It was a definite eye opener for me!

My advice if you give a bottle would definitely be to keep it a small amount (like 2 - 3 oz) or only as much as you're able to pump at first just so you get an idea of how much to give him.

You're doing a great job though!

This! My 19 month old would only every take 2-3 oz of EBM at once, STILL only drinks 2-3 ounces at once at 19 months. If you give them 3oz of formula after BM, this will only stretch their stomach.

And no one DARED suggest formula to me, I think they just *knew* I would bite their heads off. With DS being preemie and everything else going wrong, it was a huge struggle to successfully breastfeed. If anyone suggested doing something otherwise....

 

[tinymumma]

DS had a period of about a week or so, where he wanted to feed a lot. I'm talking for 3 hours, half hour break, then right back at it. My mother kept saying to give him a bottle of formula before bed so we could both get some rest. Poo on her because now, he's back to the way he was before and is only waking once during the night for a feed.
I think you should shit down and talk to your OH and explain to him why you press the EBF issue. It may be because he feels like he's missing out on bonding as you're doing all the feedings. I completely agree with you with how you're feeling, I just think men have a hard time hearing that their awesome ideas aren't agreed upon by their woman.
If you've found something that works, stick to that I say.