dh needs sa but wont!

[jcr1988]

we are now at 13months trying and recently found out i have mild endo and a fsh of 11, i'm 24 and hubby is 25. drs want him to get an SA done but he wont do! when he gets the time off and all is in line for it he wont go!! we have the jar and papers at home, i told him id take it in and everything. BUT he's being stuborn!! how did you all convince ur DH to do it?

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hi, I think its fear and possibly embarrassment. He may need a bit of time to build up to it. I think sometimes it maybe harder for men to face up to the fact that they might have an issue.

My DP has done three now and they never get any easier but perhaps slightly immune to the process.

Encourage him gently, maybe along the lines of you just need to rule it out so that you can can find out the best way forward.

Good luck

 

[jcr1988]

I've said its all he needs to do, considering all that i've gone through already he's part is easy but very important. I've cried and completely fallen apart and he wont do it. i tell him whatever the outcome, i'm not going anywhere but we need to know because i cant keep getting my hopes up every month only to go into mini depressions over it

 

[jellybeanxx]

My DH was quite touchy about it at first. I just said that I would leave him to it, he didn't have to tell me when he was going to do it and he could do it in his own time but I just wanted him to let me know when he'd done it (doesn't help that his Mother works in the building where the test is processed, she's in a different lab but still a bit weird for him).
I think it helped take the pressure off him and about a week later he did it (when MIL was on annual leave lol).

 

[xxshellsxx]

Some places offer a non lubricated condom so you can produce a sample during intercourse, maybe you could ask you DR if this is an option?? He might not feel so bad about it as there will be you to take his mind of what he's actually doing

 

[Ducktales]

i think reverse psychology is what worked for me - DH was being a dick about it and in the end, i just said fine whatever, do what you want, im not fussed and within a week he had done it and found out it wasn't that bad
good luck
i can't believe men, all they have to do is jizz in a cup - not even 1% of what we have to do....

 

[PinkPeony]

Ha - we got the cup and the papers waiting to go too... he said he was going to do it this morning but then he made an excuse about how he's got too much going on at work and he was afraid he'd be late... promised for tomorrow. I'm being pretty hands off about it though. Told him I'm trusting him to get it done. I think it's a bit of a mental hurdle to get over. For me the main thing is that I think they're waiting for it before they meet with us again and tell us the results of our tests all at once. I'm dying to know what my blood test results are.

 

[amjon]

Maybe you could just try an at home sperm count for now to warm him up to the idea? We bought one and then I got BFP, so still have it sitting around (the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks though, but I figured if we did conceive his swimmer's likely aren't the issue).

 

[jcr1988]

well DH had the day off yesterday and i said to call me so i could make time in the day to get the sample in and he 'forgot' I asked him if he even wants a baby right now or if he would rather wait and he said he didn't care if we got pregnant now or in 5 years. but him and i both tend to shut down in these situations. I'm so upset over this that we haven't even tried this month and i don't really want to.

 

[jessandaj]

Im sorry your having trouble with it, like another person suggested they do sell kits for at home so you could try and order one of those and get him to do that instead

 

[star25]

Hi,it must be difficult for men to have to do that but once its done he will probably be relieved its over with! my dh has done 2 ,i was so scared of the outcome but they were ok, could be better but not much to worry about, however hes now got another 2 to do as the fs asked and ive still got the pots and papers sat in the cupboard! God knows when he will get round to it!
Maybe reverse psychology is an idea? Hes probably feeling under pressure but then so are us girls amd we have to go through alot more!!
Good luck xx

 

[jcr1988]

thanks ladies!!! hopefully i'll get him to go for it sooner then later!!