Did I steal your "thunder"? Get over it B**tch

[Nina83]

I need to vent.
There's a girl I work with, and I know she's been trying for a while.
She knew what I've gone through, but every time she would complain about not being pregnant and I mentioned my MC, she would say, at least you know you can get pregnant. All in all they tried for about 6 months.
She got pregnant a few weeks before me, and told me when she was 15 weeks, and I immediately told her (I was 8 weeks) I had wanted to tell her before that even, I needed her support if anything went wrong, and I don't believe in "jinxing" by telling early.
Anyways, she immediately told me not to tell anyone before 15 weeks, etc etc.
She asked me every now and then how I was, and when I told her I was feeling confident, and might tell my boss, or someone else, or even family, she kept reminding me not to tell anyone before 15 weeks.
I did tell my boss a few weeks ago.
This girl, L, I feel like every time she was near me, around me with others, she would start to rub her belly, or talk about being pregnant. I was starting to feel like she was doing that on purpose, that she wanted me to know that right now, she's the center of attention. And it was starting to bug me.
I don't care who knows I'm pregnant, I've told a few girls, I didn't care if everyone knew, I just didn't wan to make a big announcement. And I don't like being the center of attention.
Yesterday we celebrated 3 girls b-days over lunch, one of them being L's. My boss asked me right there in front of everyone is I know the sex yet because she's good at guessing. Everyone kind of just stopped and looked at me. Um, embarrassing moment there, but whatever.
I got all the questions, and congrats and I was the "star" for about 10 minutes.
Afterwards, L kept coming over to me rolling her eyes and saying I can't believe she did that, it's still early, blabla bla blablabla bla...
Right then and there it was like, yes, she was doing it on purpose and she's pissed I might be getting some of the attention, when before she had it all. Today she kept coming over to me and rubbing her belly again. She also called me a bitch because I'm not showing and when she was at my stage everyone had already guessed she was pregnant. You're the bitch bitch
Am I overthinking everything? Is this pregnancy brain working overtime? Stupid hormones? If you were L would you be pissed at me, or if you were me could you understand me being pissed at L?
UGh, I just can't shake it off. I deserve a little attention and happiness as well. You can't make me not tell.

 

[Selaphyna]

Wow, yeah I think she just wanted all the attention on her.

Just ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy.

 

[EmzyJA]

What a silly moo. It's not up to her when and if you choose to tell people! Think she's probably jealous and wants to be the one with the attention. Most people would think it's nice to be around someone going through the same as them but I guess she's just a jealous selfish person. You've both had difficulties by the sounds of it and should be pleased for one another. I'd ignore her as best you can. Not easy though I know.

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

Sounds like a jealous bitch to me! It's not like you announced to the group you were pregnant, your boss did. And as for too soon to be talking about it, you're 15 weeks right?

Is best to ignore stupid girls like that and enjoy your pregnancy. Let her compare and be snotty, the best thing you could do is be nice to her. People hate when you're nice to them when they're being rude to you.

Or you could go around talking about how flat your tummy still is!

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Or you could go around talking about how flat your tummy still is!

Nice

Oh Nina, your coworker sounds like a total bitch. Try your best to ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy! Sounds like definitely jealousy and she's just going to have to sort that out on her own.

 

[Mummy to be x]

Sounds to me as though she wants all the attention, ignore her Hun you can tell people whenever you feel you want too, who is she to say otherwise?!

 

[NotNic]

You're not being unreasonable AT ALL! This is my second and I'm really noticing the competitiveness this time. So many of the girls I was due around the same time as last time are pregnant again. Personally I like to keep it to myself as long as possible but everyone around me is racing to tell their news and quite frankly going on about it. Having a baby isn't a competition its a blessing. I also carry small and don't want to feel bad because someone else doesn't. You're perfectly right to feel annoyed by her behaviour. Enjoy your pregnancy Hun and let her get on with hers. Just think when she heads of you'll have a month of peace and quiet at work!

 

[GillandJamie]

attention seekers p*** me off so much. You do what you want when you want not when some snooty cow tells you you can. Some people eh? xx

 

[RcdM]

Ugh how annoying. It's not quite the same but my SIL is 3 weeks ahead of me. And it's their first, this is my second, and we're both having boys. I make sure to go out of my way to ensure she gets first pick on things (like babyshower dates, names, etc.) because I want her to be able to enjoy every bit of her first pregnancy. But we are both excited TOGETHER, we share how we're both feeling, she'll ask me advice sometimes since I've been through it before, we text each other often and complain about pains, laugh about things together that only pregnant women would understand, and get excited sending each other cool ideas we see on pinterest for the nursery or outfits or anything, really. It's great to have someone to share this with because a lot of the time, when you want to rant or rave about something pregnancy related to friends who are not pregnant or never have been, they can't do much but just listen. I love that we are going through this together and we were never super close but I think this has brought us much closer.

My point is, why can't she be that way?? Be happy you guys are so close together and enjoy sharing pregnancy stuff with each other, etc. She does just sound like she wants all the attention and does not care what you have going on, and that is just plain rude. Oh well though, what can you do. It sounds like you're already being the bigger person and ignoring most of it. Feel free to vent on here all you want! I hope she lightens up sooner than later!

 

[salu_34]

I worked with someone like that. She knew OH wanted to start trying for a baby and she ended up getting pregnant a few weeks before her wedding day. Apparently her (now ex husband) used the pull our method and she didn't know she could still get pregnant.....but she always just made it known that she was pregnant. In her first tri when she'd feel sick she wouldn't rush to the bathroom just gag and gag in front of me and the children, actually kind of gross. She'd even ask me which parents at the daycare do you think would give her presents. Like really ? When she did get gifts she was so ungrateful for them that she returned half of them or gave them away. When she found out I was pregnant she kept messaging me and saying how happy she was and that she knew we had been trying for a while. I just thanked her and ignored the other ones she'd send me. I'm just glad we don't work together anymore !

 

[cookette]

I think we're only getting one perspective here.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

In her first tri when she'd feel sick she wouldn't rush to the bathroom just gag and gag in front of me and the children, actually kind of gross.

That is so gross! I don't know how some people do it. Obviously looking for attention, but ugh find it in another manor lol

 

[Unexpected212]

I've never got how some women want all the attention etc it's so weird

Surely we should all be there FOR eachother pregnancy is hard work and not a competition lol

 

[Leinzlove]

Vent away! She is so in the wrong. Ignore her and SPILL! You deserve some attention too.

 

[SteffieLee]

How annoying! Id be ticked off too. I definitely dislike people who have to get all the attention, I work with one. Seems like when I'm sick or someone else, she's magically sick too and its "so much worse" than whatever illness I have. She was preg last year and had to make a comment every single day "since I'm pregnant.." Or "because I'm pregnant". Yada yada yada. I'm not an attention seeker or a complainer and I'm greatly annoyed by those who are. So I completely understand your feelings toward L and I'd feel the same way.

 

[StranjeGirl]

Annoying!!! I absolutely hate it when people tell me when I am allowed to share the news. It is not their decision to make! I had a coworker like that last time. Just ignore it and enjoy your pregnancy!!!

 

[Gingerspice]

There's a lady at my work who is about 8 weeks ahead of me. It came out about her pregnancy and everyone suddenly knew about it. Meanwhile I'm still not sure who knows on my floor. I've not 'announced' it, but some do know as I did inform my boss and team leader. It just has spread about. I suspect people suspect it given the growing belly but it's still that awkward 'maybe just getting fat' size so until it is very obvious it really is a baby I'm just keeping low. It no one else's business tbh.

I'm not sure if you're perceiving it more than it really is from her side as deliberate 'look at me actions'

If I went to the loo every time I was going to retch i'd be living there! And it maybe a big deal for her and does want everyone to know. I'd just ignore her continue as you please and leave it as that

 

[Nina83]

It's kind of strange because we are pretty good friends. I guess she does some of that stuff out of fun and not just to be mean (yesterday she asked if I wanted to see something and she pointed to her bump and said, watch out, you're going to get like this too)
It's just, I don't know. Maybe I am jealous she's so open about it and I'm more shy or something. I just feel like she's shushing me.
I think that once I get a noticeable bump we'll be better friends again, but until then I feel like she's the only one who wants to shine.

 

[MissyLissy]

At almost 16 weeks, most people are out in the open! Shine on, Nina and do what makes you comfortable! Also, petty comment, but six months IS NOT a long time to try. I know it's hard and stressful and scary when you are in it, but as someone who tried nearly two years, people who whined after only 4,5,6 months about "at least you know you can get pregnant," (said to me a lot after my ectopic), or how difficult TTC is seriously annoyed me at the time when I was personally in the trenches. Trying for six months is normal.

 

[LucyLake]

Nina!! congrats again mama!!!

I don't like how she tried to shush you until 15 weeks. What business is it of hers when you tell and what if you were the type of girl who needed support in wk 12 after a long and difficult first tri? You had every right to tell even as early as 4 weeks if you wanted to. Besides, I wonder if she waited all 15 wks to tell everyone?

I think she's jealous that she's not the only one on this journey and that you're going to be all baby while she might have to work off some weight. I wish she'd be more supportive, you have been through SO SO much to get to this point and a true friend who knows that would be kind and caring! Don't let her tell you when your baby shower is going to be or anything else, it's your special time to decide everything the way you see fit! Lots of love, I hope she'll get better. Maybe she just had to get through this first step and now that everyone knows, she'll let you have your time to shine