Difficult/strange/weird member of staff! Help!

GemM83

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Hi Guys

I’m after a bit of guidance in dealing with a rather sensitive issue at work.

I am a Team Leader, and a member of my team has Persistent Effective Mood Disorder, for which she is covered under DDA due to it being a mental health issue.

Team Leader hat off and a bit of background: She is an extremely difficult woman to warm too. She has quite a few enemies within the office. She is nosey, rude and bossy. She always has to be the centre of attention, She is married, in her late 40’s and has no children. She has numerous Godchildren though and always refers to them as “her girls”. She is a very needy individual.

Now, my issue is, is that she has just recently gone through the informal mediation process at work with a colleague (as a result of being placed on the same work station as her, stamped her feet because she wanted to sit with her friend, but couldn’t as this friend said if she was placed with her should would resign as she is a nightmare to work with!). Relations seemed to have improved, however in the last couple of weeks tensions have been building. The other team member came into me earlier on in the week and said that enough was enough, she couldn’t work with her and that she was a bully. Strong word. Difficult to work with: yes. Rude: yes. Personality issues: Yes. Bully: In my opinion, no.

I contacted the guy who conducted the mediation on the sly to get him to send a “how’s it going?” email to see what kind of response he would get, but in the interim another team member came in to the office to report what she felt was “inappropriate behaviour”. It turns out that she has been buying her little gifts. Sweets one day, a bunch of flowers another and then a rather expensive bottle of chilli oil to name but a few. She has also been buying little gifts for other members of the team to (only found this out yesterday). She thought it was sweet at first but then it all got a little weird. She asked her to stop doing it but she still persists in buying things for her. She also got a little present for the lady she has been going through mediation with today along with a little note saying that she “hoped the little present would brighten her day”………….it was a pork pie!!! Is she trying to buy friendship/loyalty?

How on earth do I approach this with her being quite a big issue. Its really starting to freak her colleagues out! She’s even started dressing like someone in office, and doing her hair the same, mirroring her mannerisms etc.

She will obviously say that she is just being nice but its not coming across that way, and I know she is going to say that it’s a result of her disorder. But she can’t carry on like this surely???? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Sorry for the longwinded-ness…believe me this is the shortened version!
Any advice would be gratefully received!
 
I think you need to go to HR for advice, and speak to your manager for advice as well, you don't need to handle it all by yourself x
 
I agree with Pearls.

definitely find support in the situation for your own benefit too x
 
Oh my awkward! As pp's have said, involve people higher than you as soon as possible, everybody should be aware especially as it is affecting different members of of your work team.
 

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