Disciplining other peoples kids

[LeeBee]

I had a very interesting visit from an old friend and her family yesterday. It was the first time I had seen her in over a year.

Anyways, from the minute they arrived, her kids were crazy out of control. Jumping on furniture, climbing on the kitchen table, digging dirt out of my plants, falling off of things and hurting themselves... All the while her and her husband are just sitting there, not saying a thing! Except for when I'm running around cleaning everything up, she says, "You know, you'll never be able to keep your house clean forever." And at one point her toddler found a screwdriver and was running around with it, so I took it away from him, to which she replied, "Looks like they don't let you play with those things like we do. Hmm... someone is over protective." The list goes on and on!

It finally got to the point where I had to put my foot down, and tell her boys NO, and took away things that they were throwing and hitting each other with... and she seemed a bit insulted by that. I felt like I didn't have a choice.

So my question is... Does a person have the right to discipline another child (in their own house) when the child's parent isn't doing it?

 

[blahblahblah]

If it's damaging your property, or hurting you or your family, yes.

 

[Natasha2605]

No, I'd have told her to either sort them or leave. Simple as that for me. xx

 

[mum2beagain]

i would have definatly said something hun x i quite often have to tell my best friends little boy off but he actually listens to whereas he doesnt listen to her

 

[smokey]

Not physicaly no.
If its a case of im babysitting them then verbaly I would tell them off but if in the case you where giving I would end up telling the person to control them or leave.

 

[freckleonear]

Yes, your house your rules. I would only use very gentle discipline though, such as distraction, explaining "in this house we do/don't do...", talking through any problems and working with the children to settle on a solution, etc.

 

[moomin_troll]

yes i would.

depending on who the child was to me depends on how id deal with it. if my sister was to have a child and they were acting up in my house and my sister wasnt doing a thing id instantly say hey no ect.

if it was a friends child, id wait and see if the mother was going to say anything if not id then say hey we dont do this or that in this house

 

[Blah11]

I wouldn't. I'd hint to the parent and if nothing is done, just wouldn't invite them over again. I'd get VERY angry if someone tried to discipline Amelie without my permission

 

[Dizzy321]

same as blah

 

[LeeBee]

I wouldn't. I'd hint to the parent and if nothing is done, just wouldn't invite them over again. I'd get VERY angry if someone tried to discipline Amelie without my permission

I'd get angry too... but then again, I'd never let my kid do those types of things in someone elses house either And I'm not typically the kind of person that would step in because I totally don't see that as my place... but these kids were destroying my house! And there were points where I was concerned they were going to get really hurt...

The whole night was really awkward. At one point my "friend" started asking my 13 year old step daughter about her sexual orientation, at which point I was like, "um, no, don't think so..." So in a way, I was scolding her too! *sigh* I don't know, maybe I did over react, but I'm just not used to that kind of stuff!

 

[moomin_troll]

i say the friend is the problem not the children! wtf is she doing asking a 13 yr old about their sexual orientation...i wouldnt let her in my home again

 

[LeeBee]

i say the friend is the problem not the children! wtf is she doing asking a 13 yr old about their sexual orientation...i wouldnt let her in my home again

Oh trust me, she'll never be coming back. The minute they left, my husband was like "what in the world was that?!" I feel so bad for her kids!

 

[peanut56]

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable disciplining someone's children.
How I would react would depend on how close I was to the parents. If it were someone I was really close to, I would tell them to control (for lack of a better term) their children or leave. If it was someone I wasn't particularly close to, or didn't know very well, I would stop them from hurting themselves as best as I could, try to minimize the damage as best as I could, then never invite them over again. If the parents suggested coming over again, I would tell them no, and be honest about why.

 

[marley2580]

My house - my rules

 

[tallybee]

Tough one. Like others have said it would depend on who they were to me... but I would not sit by while children do dangerous or damaging things. I find parents who do not even try to stop that kind of behaviour very difficult to be around.

 

[lynnikins]

my friends all know that if needed i'll step in and tell their child off in my own home if i feel its warrented i do let them take the lead and make the first move but if they dont and are disrespecting my home or family then they will learn that its not acceptable in this house

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I wouldn't. I'd hint to the parent and if nothing is done, just wouldn't invite them over again. I'd get VERY angry if someone tried to discipline Amelie without my permission

Pretty much the same as this
Even though I would never let my Los act like this so it would never come down to someone else having to tell them off for this kind of behaviour. But if they did try to discipline them for whatever other reason/scenario I would be angry and would say something to whoever it was, I really dont feel its anybody elses place.

To note though I would expect that if I left them in the care of others e.g Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles etc and they were 'misbehaving' then they would be totally entilted to 'discipline' as in the way of telling them not to do whatever it is etc iykwim

 

[mrs_park]

I think it's one thing to 'disapline' someone else's kids and another thing to ask then not to do something in your house. I would have said something hun x

 

[Jess137]

I don't have my own kids yet, so I don't even have my own method of discipline. However, when my 2 and 5 yr old cousins are in my home, I discipline them (not hitting or screaming, but redirection or in some cases time outs). I also do this with our 3yr old nephew. It's necessary, they will tear up your house, and their parents don't do much.

Edit: I only do time outs very rarely with the 3 yr old and 5 yr old, if they repeatedly do something I've asked them not to. Recently though my BIL and SIL have been disciplining their little boy when they are here, which really helps.

 

[katrina1987]

Personally I think every child should be taught how ud like them to behave in your ownhome to behave in others, when I have a friend come and there LO does something I tell them a firm no same as if my DS went to theres and he was doing something and they didnt like it Id expect them to tell him off. Obviously everything has to be within reason. A child needs to learn and respect other peoples houses as if it was there own. Not to run wild and do what they want but also its the parents responsability to teach there child how to behave and how not to