Discussion with 7 year old "why we wash our bodies"

[Ckelley]

So, I've explained this to her before in generic terms. But tonight she was asking for specifics.

Her "but why?"
Me "it's important to stay healthy and so that you do not smell bad."
Her "why would you smell bad?"
Me "didn't you tell me a boy in your class always smells like poop?"
Her "Yes. It's gross."
Me "do you like to play with him?"
Her "no"
Me "well if you don't wash you will smell like a dirty vagina"
Her "you just said a bad word!"

Anyway... She decided to wash.

 

[JASMAK]

So, I've explained this to her before in generic terms. But tonight she was asking for specifics.

Her "but why?"
Me "it's important to stay healthy and so that you do not smell bad."
Her "why would you smell bad?"
Me "didn't you tell me a boy in your class always smells like poop?"
Her "Yes. It's gross."
Me "do you like to play with him?"
Her "no"
Me "well if you don't wash you will smell like a dirty vagina"
Her "you just said a bad word!"

Anyway... She decided to wash.

Wow... Not sure what a 'dirty vagina' is, never mind smells like. I think BO is the term that is more commonly used, which is nothing to do with vaginas. Besides possibly smelling...how about germs? People need to wash off bacteria, dirt and germs. Plus, it is just nice to feel clean.

 

[Rachel_C]

Vaginas are self-cleaning!

 

[Ckelley]

I've tried all manner of other terms. I've showed her photos of bacteria . She has had multiple UTI's. We use the correct medical term "vagina", it's not taboo. It was not said in a mean or rude way, just matter of fact. She has multiple leaks throughout the day and the odor of urine and unwashed "bo" can be an issue if not delt with everyday.

I only shared because the exchange was very cute in its own way. Not mean. I guess I did not express that correctly. She is a very logic driven and precise child. Honesty, even crude honesty is the only way she will accept information.

Sorry if it was offensive to you, she took the information (quite a bit more than I typed) and processed it and made a choice. Sometimes you just have to lay it out there.

 

[JASMAK]

Personally, its not something I would teach my daughter, or my son, for that matter. That their privates are dirty and smell. Even *if* they did. Also, they boy you are talking about that 'smells like poo'....maybe he has a colostomy bag, or perhaps crones disease, or another disease, but you have made it perfectly acceptable to your child that people who are different, don't play with them. Honestly, I am having a difficult time seeing the 'cute' factor in any of this. I find it very sad.

 

[Eternal]

So, I've explained this to her before in generic terms. But tonight she was asking for specifics.

Her "but why?"
Me "it's important to stay healthy and so that you do not smell bad."
Her "why would you smell bad?"
Me "didn't you tell me a boy in your class always smells like poop?"
Her "Yes. It's gross."
Me "do you like to play with him?"
Her "no"
Me "well if you don't wash you will smell like a dirty vagina"
Her "you just said a bad word!"

Anyway... She decided to wash.

Wow... Not sure what a 'dirty vagina' is, never mind smells like. I think BO is the term that is more commonly used, which is nothing to do with vaginas. Besides possibly smelling...how about germs? People need to wash off bacteria, dirt and germs. Plus, it is just nice to feel clean.

I agree with this.

Also it's not the word vagina that is the issue, it's the fact it's also used incorrectly, if you are talking about leaking urine then that has nothing to do with her vagina.

I would just talk about smells and hygiene, that being dirty can make you sick.

 

[lhancock90]

I think its good you had the conversation and she decided to wash, but i do think you went about it in the wrong way.

 

[Sprite2011]

Whatever you do you will always find people who disagree with how you do things, but at the end of the day she's your child and you know how she reacts to things. I may not have done it exactly the way you did (am not at that stage yet still washing lo with minimal input from her except trying to get as much water on the floor as possible!!) but I would never criticise someones parenting style unless it is dangerous and the way you handled it was definitely not dangerous!!

 

[RinnaRoo]

Stop it!! Your vagina, labia, lady parts in general CAN smell if its not washed! Your genitals will not clean themselves to smell fresh and clean. I don't care who said that, cause in my brain, its not true. Vagina is NOT a bad word, both her and her daughter have one. She did what was appropriate for her as a parent to a daughter.
It doesn't effect you or anyone else's daily life, so stop being a judgemental snob.
Geeze.

 

[cookette]

Good grief....I'm sure you ladies say things in your homes that we would all be aghast and roll our eyes about. Who cares if that's not how it would go in your home?? Its how the OP is raising HER kids. I get so sick of the parenting attacks!

 

[Noodlebear]

Stop it!! Your vagina, labia, lady parts in general CAN smell if its not washed! Your genitals will not clean themselves to smell fresh and clean. I don't care who said that, cause in my brain, its not true. Vagina is NOT a bad word, both her and her daughter have one. She did what was appropriate for her as a parent to a daughter.
It doesn't effect you or anyone else's daily life, so stop being a judgemental snob.
Geeze.

Cringe at this reaction!

Anyway - If you were talking about washing her vagina obviously a valid reason is that people sweat which smells etc. The vagina is self cleaning but so is hair - I'll still teach any child of mine to wash both! If you were talking about washing in general I think it's pretty inappropriate that you told someone they will smell like 'a dirty vagina'.

 

[Rachel_C]

I'm confused though - you're not washing her vagina, surely? Douching is a really bad idea. Yes clean the external genitals but you absolutely should NOT be cleaning the vagina of an adult or a child unless there is a problem and a medical professional has told you to. Anybody who says the vagina needs cleaning needs a lesson in modern hygiene. The vagina IS self-cleaning, whether you choose to believe it or not.

 

[Noodlebear]

People often make the mistake as referring to it all as a 'vagina', I'm assuming that's the case here as I can't imagine someone trying to teach their daughter to douche! (I hope not anyway)

 

[ToughhGal]

I am not a mummy yet but I do babysit (also, clean houses and tutor) as a job and pop over here for advice. I think she was referring to her child not washing anything properly (and let's face it, children have a tendency to wipe the wrong way or in a half way manner) causing odor. There also has been many girls, even toddlers, have foul odors from that general area due to various reasons. Private areas, no matter how young, have to be maintained.

While her statement might have not been flattering to some of you, I don't think it is necessary to gang up on her. No parent is perfect and bound to say something other people might not.


As for the little boy statement, it was not the best or nicest example but an example of why we should wash our bodies. Again, no parent is perfect. I'm sure she doesn't tell her little girl who to be friends with and instill harsh behavior into her.

 

[Noodlebear]

My point of view has little to do with parenting and more to do with the fact that telling anyone they'll smell like 'a dirty vagina' is an awful thing to say. It just sounds like an insult.

 

[ToughhGal]

Well I shared my opinion. If you want to continue on and on, go ahead. At the end of the day, it is her child. Have a good day!

 

[messica]

If in the grand scheme of life the worst thing you do is tell your child that by not keeping up with proper hygiene she will start to smell like a dirty vagina, well......props to you op lol.

We are a blunt, politically incorrect and often times "indelicate" family when it comes to our interactions with each other. Life is too short, we laugh a lot here and I could see myself saying something similar (although I'd probably choose something more along the lines of "sasquatch" or "warthog butt in the still and dead of summer"). I get it. And if it got the point across with her no worse for wear, who cares what anyone else says about it.

Being an elementary aide for a number of years I salute you for your non complacency. I'm sure her teachers and other caretakers are quite grateful you got the point across now as opposed to waiting until she hits her teens or beyond

 

[JASMAK]

1. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. Its own lubrication ensures that it stays clean and healthy, with little outside assistance. The addition of a douche can actually imbalance the natural ph of the system so much that irritation and odor can may result. And while we’re at it, you don’t need to use soap inside your labia at all—washing the outer labia with a gentle soap and letting running water and a gentle cloth take care of the inside bits will keep them sweet and peachy, without the irritation and skin damage that soaps can cause.

https://www.divinecaroline.com/self...s-you-probably-didn’t-know-about-vagina

So...for those who think you smell....down there...perhaps because you are washing it. The more you wash, the more you smell. I never have odour. I shower daily, bath most nights too.....never wash my labia/vagina...never my girls either. Just a swish of water.

 

[stephx]

If my mother told me I smelt like a dirty vagina, I would take it as an insult.

I think there are much nicer ways of telling your child they need to wash

 

[BigLegEmma]

I've tried all manner of other terms. I've showed her photos of bacteria . She has had multiple UTI's. We use the correct medical term "vagina", it's not taboo. It was not said in a mean or rude way, just matter of fact. She has multiple leaks throughout the day and the odor of urine and unwashed "bo" can be an issue if not delt with everyday.

I only shared because the exchange was very cute in its own way. Not mean. I guess I did not express that correctly. She is a very logic driven and precise child. Honesty, even crude honesty is the only way she will accept information.

Sorry if it was offensive to you, she took the information (quite a bit more than I typed) and processed it and made a choice. Sometimes you just have to lay it out there.

Hehehe I thought it was cute; I was a 'but why' child and that's how I learned. We used correct terms for things (medical family!) and I will be with my daughter (if she ever decides to come out!)