Divorce so many questions....

[Rah]

Hi im currently still living with hubby but its only a matter of time before i see sense and start heading down this route im still in the i have to try stage but realistically i know whats coming

How do you go about it? do i need a solicitor or can it be done without
how much does it cost?
LO is now 15months do i need to do mediation? (im not even sure what it is)

im just getting so overwelmed with it all i dont know where to start

will it look bad on me if i file?
i think he could be waiting for me to end it so he can say it was me and not him even thought its all his fault

im sorry im just so messed up at the moment i dont have a clue

Rah

 

[billy2mm]

right first of all are you sure that this is really what you want? have you tried counselling?

if you have property and pensions and debts then it is best to get a solicitor so you can sort those assets out. if you are claiming income support you will get legal aid. you will need to find one in your area that does legal aid though coz not all solicitors do.

you only need to go to mediation if you and fob cannot agree on contact with lo.

if you get legal aid then it wont cost you anything for the divorce. if you dont work then you need to claim your income support and get your tax credits changed to a single person claim instead of a joint claim. if you dont have your own bank account i would strongly advise you get one now and have the cb, ctc and is paid into this.

do you own your own home? if you do who will stay and who will leave? if not again who will stay and who will go? if you leave him in the maritalk home then you need on the council housing list.

this is gonna sound so bad but if you can hold out for a few months try to stash away some money as you dont know how he will react and it can take some time for the benefits to get sorted out and yhou dont want to be left with no money at all.

unless you are divorcing on the grounds of adultery that he is admitting to or violence and such like that can be proven then you have to wait 2 years from the official date of separation to file for divorce. this will only be granted if he constents to the divorce. if he doesnt then you have to wait 5 years from the date of separation.

if you want anymore advice feel free to pm me hun - i was where you are last year! im 18 months into my divorce and even though im in scotland alot of the stuff is the same except the length of time that needs to elapse before divorce - here it is 1 year consent and 2 without!

 

[Pyrrhic]

Unless there are reasonable grounds for divorce, you need to have 2 years of legal separation before you file. If you don't qualify for legal aid, then a divorce costs in the region of £20,000

If you have anything like savings, pensions, furniture, house, cars, etc you will need a solicitor.

 

[Rah]

i didnt realise how much it would cost hmmmm will take some saving

 

[Pyrrhic]

Yeah my solicitor costs £220.00 per hour Luckily I qualify for legal aid.

 

[Rah]

i dont think i would i work full time

well at least we are not quite there yet he really made an effort over the weekend after our chat on friday night
will see what happens

 

[billy2mm]

i dont think i would i work full time

well at least we are not quite there yet he really made an effort over the weekend after our chat on friday night
will see what happens

even if yolu work full time you may still qualify for legal aid hun. there is a calculator on the web site. you will have to pay something but alot less than that!

 

[gemabee]

£20,000!?
my sisters boyfriend jus went through a pretty amicable divorce nd it didn't cost him much at all... next to nothin infact he said.
he works full time so wouldn't have qualified for legal aid.
xx

 

[Aidedhoney]

I got divorced about 5 years ago and it cost me £500............

You can do most of the leg work yourself thus saving on solicitors fees, ie if things are amicable talk with your ex how you see the property working out etc etc etc

My divorce was simple, i didnt touch his pensions/ we had no savings/ i signed my half of the flat over to him as by the time we got round to divorcing i had my own home.

Good luck hun best thing you cxan do is go and talk to a solicitor x

 

[Rah]

Thanks for that!

things are amicable and will stay that way if it does go that far its me who is the hurting party so i think i can do it as if it happens i want to show him what hes missing out on and show him what a big mistake he made lol

im still hoping it wont get that far but at least i know its managable
he already agreed to me having the house and we agreed isobelle to have 2-3 bights with him so think it shouuld be straight forward

 

[Aidedhoney]

The more amicable things are the easier it is on everyone.

Good luck hun xx