Do I follow my dreams or agree with partner?

[angel2091985]

I had my son in October and was studying my accountancy before he was born and carried on even when I found out I was pregnant because this was a new career venture for me and something I have always wanted to do! I have had a few times off with family operations and also myself having an operation but I am soo dedicated, my partner watches my children in the evenings so I can go to college but I got asked to go for an interview and he wasn't happy, he said our son was not going into childcare until he was at least 1 year old! I don't know whether to go for a job or spend the time at home? I love my children but it didn't do any harm when my daughter was 4 months old and went into childcare! Advice PLEASE

 

[Bex84]

Is it not possible if your OH feels so strongly that he takes a work break to be able to be at home if he does not want your lo in childcare. For me and dh I really wanted to be at home and he wanted to work so it worked out fine, it shouldn't be expected that a woman has to be one to not go to work. Could he get paternity leave

 

[angel2091985]

Hi thanks for your reply but I have already suggested that he stays at home with the children but he said he thinks that I will moan about him not bringing money into the home! I have already said that I wouldn't and I just want to put into practice what I'm learning as I love what I learn! I don't know if its a male thing feeling threatened that I would be bringing in the money for the home! I don't know what to do?

 

[Bex84]

I think if he is refusing to consider and compromise then he needs to see that maybe he cant just have his way. He is asking you to give up a lot. Is there any chance of you both going part time so part of the week he is at home and part of the week you are, maybe even see if for a certain amount of time either of you could work from time. If he is not willing he should not demand that you have to give up work to

 

[Pearls18]

Not a chance in hell would I listen to him, if he wouldn't stay at home then he has no right to dictate that you do. My hubby was uncomfortable with the idea of daycare when I started looking into go back to work but he knew he couldn't stop me working (nor would he want me to stop), so we researched together and visited nurseries beforehand. It helped he has to stay home for a few months when DS1 was much younger so he knows how difficult it is.

 

[angel2091985]

Hi thank you for replying, it is very hard to find part time work for someone starting out in accountancy and very few jobs for people with no hands on experience. I thought if I start out full time and they see I can work hard then they may be more willing to let me go part time! Also my other half had both the children for 3 days while I was in hospital and says its easy looking after the children and he doesn't know why I get so stressed! My daughter only listens to him and not me so I struggle with her all day and my son wants attension all day and hates sleeping but then my partner can't understand why I get stressed out at home! Also when he looked after the kids he had help from my parents, they would take and pick my daughter up from school and help if he needed it so I can't see how he thinks its easy when I have no help at all! He says he likes that I have ambition but I chose to have my son so I should stay off work and look after him! I just want to do both have a family that I am excited to see after work and enjoy a job! I just don't see how he can't see it will work! My daughter learnt so much being with the childminder and loved interacting with other children and I also don't want my son to miss out on the joy they have meeting other children and learning from them! My daughter seemed to listen to everyone else but me which is difficult!

 

[Pearls18]

Hi thank you for replying, it is very hard to find part time work for someone starting out in accountancy and very few jobs for people with no hands on experience. I thought if I start out full time and they see I can work hard then they may be more willing to let me go part time! Also my other half had both the children for 3 days while I was in hospital and says its easy looking after the children and he doesn't know why I get so stressed! My daughter only listens to him and not me so I struggle with her all day and my son wants attension all day and hates sleeping but then my partner can't understand why I get stressed out at home! Also when he looked after the kids he had help from my parents, they would take and pick my daughter up from school and help if he needed it so I can't see how he thinks its easy when I have no help at all! He says he likes that I have ambition but I chose to have my son so I should stay off work and look after him! I just want to do both have a family that I am excited to see after work and enjoy a job! I just don't see how he can't see it will work! My daughter learnt so much being with the childminder and loved interacting with other children and I also don't want my son to miss out on the joy they have meeting other children and learning from them! My daughter seemed to listen to everyone else but me which is difficult!

Did he not choose to have children as well? Why does it have to be you? I'm infuriated for you!

 

[angel2091985]

He has wanted children for a long time and we planned our son, well had been trying but no luck and the doctor said I hadn't ovulated a few times so I thought it would be ages hence doing my college course! Yes I'm peeved off as I just want it all but he keeps saying that children that are taught by childminders just want their parents and they don't care about what you can bring home which I agree with but wouldn't your children want happy parents rather than tension?