Do i have to go?

[Leah29]

Hubby's family do NOT know that we are having issues TTC

We were told last week that BIL and his wife are pregnant with #2. i was gutted (happy for them but gutted and completely jealous for me but thats a whole other story)

we have to go to the in laws for lunch xmas day, and i really couldn't handle everyone talking baby talk, and asking us when is it our turn etc

would it be rude of me to drive hubby and pick him up again but not attend myself? i know i am not going to handle it and don't know if my brave face mask is going to be working too well.

 

[zanDark]

ugh what a difficult situation!! can't you say that you're ill or something and can't go??

I don't think driving him there and picking him up is a good idea since they might think something is going on, especially if they don't know about your TTC problems. They might think it's something to do with them.

I would totally stay home and tell them that you've got a bug or something and don't want to make everyone sick

 

[Erin j]

I'm sorry that's hard. My SIL is 9 months with her 4th right now and the family does know we are trying and that we are seeing a fertility specialist. In a way its good they don't know you are trying and if they ask you can always say you want kids someday and change the subject, they don't née to know the struggle unless you want to share it. I love talking to my SIL about her kids and pregnancy because I'm still so positive it will be me soon. If its too painful you can say you are sick and stay home.

 

[wonderstars]

I've been known to throw out the "flu" excuse. Don't want to get the pregnant woman sick.

 

[Armywife84]

No it's not rude to put your feelings first. Us LTTC spend so much time thinking and being considerate about everyone else (pregnant women) that we're always pushing our feelings aside. This time do what is best for YOU. You're going through a rough time, you need to be sensitive to yourself since others aren't always going to be.

 

[below zero]

Just do what you feel like & don't excuse. Srsly most people are just too polite, think of yourself. It gets much easier if you've done it a few times.

 

[cooch]

If you are able to make a believable excuse then do it. Just remember though your DH loves you but he also loves his family, how would he feel if you weren't there with him?? Mine would be very angry and disappointed (even with all this sh*t going on). Have a think about it x

 

[Leah29]

he and i have talked about it, and he understands and is ok with why i don't feel like i can be there.but at the same time, i still feel guilty for not wanting to be there if that makes sense

 

[cooch]

I know Leah- it just Sh*t!!!

What will you be doing instead? I hope not moping about the house- is there something you could plan? It can be a lonely timexxx

 

[Leah29]

probably end up going to my cousins place earlier then planned christmas day if i don't end up feeling guilty and going to the inlaws.