Do you feel judged as a parent??

[Munchkin30]

Hey all,

Had an incident with my SIL last night which has upset my OH. She's a bit of an uber mum and judges pretty much everyone else as parents. We're not used to it though cos everyone else around us is really kind and non judgemental.

Just wondering how much everyone else feels judged as a parent? Is it very normal??

Thanks all xx

 

[J.Entwistle]

I look young (im 22) and my husband was away working for 4 months and i felt people would gawk at me out alone.

The worst are mums at baby groups, one at swimming looked at me like i was the devil for giving my son anbesol and said "i only use homeopathic remedies" to which i said id rather my son not be in pain, as hes too young to make that choice!

Forgot to mention BLW, EBF and owning dogs (how dare we bring our son into a home of animals) lol! I have to say though im very confident all my decisions have been for the best and although i used to be quiet i am now more fiesty in defending these decisions.

 

[caitlyn2009]

I voted rarely because there is really only one person and i dont see her much.I have a really hard time with my SIL as well. We are very concious of what our daughter eats and drinks and she is constantly telling us to give her junk and kool aid. She doesnt even get juice. Yesterday she said "Madi needs a cupcake" And when I told her no madi doesnt because madi didnt even eat any lunch she looked straight at me rolled her eyes and walked away. I was so mad. Not to mention her 1 year old weighs close to 40 pounds. She also tells me I should put a tv in her room, turn off her baby monitor ( cause then she will have to sleep through the night), and by 1 year my LO shiuld know what the word no means and be afraid to push it. I avoid her in all possible ways and feel so bad for her boys. So yes when I am around her I feel extremely judged.

 

[Mummythree]

No offence but your sil sounds like she needs to get a life if all she does is judge people, i'm sure she's not as perfect as she makes out.

I don't feel judged as a mum often, i try my best i know im a good mum and what others think is irrelevent tbh.

 

[babydust1990]

I look younger than I am so often get comments, not as much now as when I was pregnant. I feel more judged on here though tbh, so much so I had to take a break recently... I'm not one of these organic only/no tv/research everything Mums. I just do what comes naturally and its obviously working

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I mostly get this as my friends with babies are a bit older and my inlaws think they know everything (yet, my MIL is too scared too look after LO for 10 minutes). I look young for my age and tend to look insecure although I am definitely not. I am 24 and will be 25 next year March. I do know what I want and what I believe. All I ever dreamed about since I was a child was to have lots of my own children and being a mom and wife. I sometimes wish people would just back off.

 

[Saphira]

I voted rarely. I feel less judged from family and close friends and more judged from those who don't matter, so to say.

 

[jenniferttc1]

I don't feel I personally get judged most of the time for people thinking im a bad parent, but I feel that EVERY mother gets judged all the time, either bad or good judgement. I've realized other mothers have that competitive and "I'm a better mother than you" attiude.

 

[EmzLouise]

Yep, because OH lives an hour away and works every hour under the sun and we're planning bubzys dedication, we're rarely all out together. mostly I get 'you're still a baby!' which annoys me as I'm not, I'm 23 bloody years old.

I reckon I get judged by OH family as I do things alot different to them... And by OH I get judged ALOT. So much so that I actually wanted to tell him to get out of my house and stop being such a whiner. He got humpy because I bought some veggies to make bubzy some food.

Seriously.

 

[sandilion]

Oh hell yeah, so many people are so quick to judge everything. I have been judged for being outside with my LO without him wearing a beanie (he cried whenever i put it on him) for BF, for wanting to stop BF, for letting him feed himself (BLW), for him crying after his swimming lesson (he was over tired and hungry which was to be expected) for keeping our dogs...

I also am always judged and given unwanted advice by a couple friends as well... really pisses me off. I am always polite, but that is wearing very thin. So over the know it all's. LO is sucha healthy happy baby, I am doing just fine! Hmph.

Oh and i get judged all the time for having a amber teething necklace on LO's ankle. It's just silly hippy crap to a lot of people it seems and i am a crazy hormonal mother for believing in it.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I mostly feel judged by DH's family. They think I'm spoiling my LO by holding her all the time and picking her up when she cries. Apparently I'm going to regret it I could hear them going on at DH about us not having a routine for LO. They sit around me lecturing me about how I should leave LO in her cot to cry, sometimes it feels like they're bullying me, they know how shy I am and I find it totally humiliating Thankfully it's the MIL's side of the family who we only see 3 times a year, I cannot stand them

 

[My_First]

No I don't in the slightest because any advice anyone gives me is taken as advice only an I choose to act on it or not. If anyone dare judge me with parenting choices I will tell them to mind their own. I actually could t give a flying fig what anyone else thinks.

 

[Casey3]

I put rarely because even if they are judging me I couldn't care less as I'm confident in my parenting decisions! I've only felt judged by a handful of random people and some family who think my more AP approach is odd but I don't care

I'm always judged by OHs family but I know ill never in a million years live up to their standards I don't try to make them happy anymore!

Everyone judges everyone, its how we handle the judgement that makes the difference.. If you're confident in what you're doing and your babies are happy that's all that matters at the end of the day

 

[Foogirl]

I couldn't give a toss how others view my parenting. Walk a mile in my shoes, then tell me what you think.

I think feeling judged goes with a lack of confidence. If you're genuinely happy with what you are doing and know you are doing the right thing, then opinion from others will wash over you.

I know it's easier said than done and can see how others can fall into this trap. Whenever someone gave me "advice" I smiled, thanked them, and said I'd have a think about whether that would work for us. They've nowhere to go after that.

 

[Natasha2605]

I get judged for being young (21) with two kids. People assume I'm a single mum (wrong), don't work (wrong) and my kids have different dads (wrong). And yes, I've been asked ALL of the above on more than one occasion. Apart from that I don't really notice being judged. Kind of over caring anyway mind. If somebody wants to judge then I pity them, I know how happy, loved and spoilt my children are

 

[Leids]

I get odd looks a lot. I look really nerdy, I also look really young (I'm 25 though, but most people assume I'm more around 20). It's mostly looks from other mothers. I just ignore it. My son is well taken care of so how I look is none of their business really. I'm a big woman too, I'd love to lose weight but every time I try my supply dips even further, but all of the looks at first made me feel incredibly self conscious about my weight. I know I'm an awesome mom (tooting my own horn haha) so I got over it fairly quick.

Judgmental people are pretty irritating. A lot of them make assumptions that are completely inaccurate. Don't judge a book by its cover. People always will regardless though.

 

[Leids]

I get judged for being young (21) with two kids. People assume I'm a single mum (wrong), don't work (wrong) and my kids have different dads (wrong). And yes, I've been asked ALL of the above on more than one occasion. Apart from that I don't really notice being judged. Kind of over caring anyway mind. If somebody wants to judge then I pity them, I know how happy, loved and spoilt my children are

You know, I've had someone completely disregard my wedding ring and ask if the dad was still around. Are you serious? Completely ridiculous.

 

[jessicatunnel]

I don't really notice people judging me. The one time I did though, I was out with lo when my husband was deployed and this ignorant lady made a comment to her daughter about its a shame there are so many teen moms and that they should keep their legs shut. I gave her a piece of my mind. I'm twenty but probably look about 16, lol and I've been married for 2.5 years.
Like another poster said I think I probably feel more judged on here than in real life tbh.

 

[Natasha2605]

I get judged for being young (21) with two kids. People assume I'm a single mum (wrong), don't work (wrong) and my kids have different dads (wrong). And yes, I've been asked ALL of the above on more than one occasion. Apart from that I don't really notice being judged. Kind of over caring anyway mind. If somebody wants to judge then I pity them, I know how happy, loved and spoilt my children are

You know, I've had someone completely disregard my wedding ring and ask if the dad was still around. Are you serious? Completely ridiculous.

It's crazy what people think. At a baby group a fortnight ago I had some cow say to me ''Your children are pretty well behaved for such a young mother''.

Stunned didn't even cover it.

 

[beth_terri]

I've put never because I've never been in a situation to feel like I was being judged. And tbh I couldn't care less anyway so maybe I'm just oblivious to it lol. I'm a young mum of two (17 and 20 when I had them) but its never been an issue. Xx