Do you feel judged as a parent??

[MrsButterfly]

I don't feel I personally get judged most of the time for people thinking im a bad parent, but I feel that EVERY mother gets judged all the time, either bad or good judgement. I've realized other mothers have that competitive and "I'm a better mother than you" attiude.

^^ This.

I hate all the competitive parenting but it happens all the time. I'm honest to a fault and don't take part in all the lying about everything like sleep etc. Wish all us mums helped each other by being honest and stopping the judgement, rather than exaggerating the truth and then us all feeling crap!!

 

[natasha82]

Only on here really, sadly. Not so much in real life.

 

[aliss]

All the time from FIL + his girlfriend, but I really don't care anymore and am not keen on their style either. TBH her daughter turned out to be a complete utter mess so I don't see why she feels the need to sit there and give me crap... clean up your own side of the street first, lady!

 

[hubblybubbly]

Often, from friends, family and strangers...oh and on here lots, however they can all bugger off :-D I will raise my baby how I wish to, constructive advice is always welcome but judgement is not.
X

 

[Agcam]

It seems to me that everyone has an opinion on how you should be doing things, like they did on everything when you were pregnant.

I've decided that I don't give a flying fig and I'm going to stick to that, so they're welcome to say whatever they want.

 

[AngelofTroy]

Only by my HV really! She always makes me feel like I'm not coping well enough. When Micah was 12 days old she rang the doorbell (early), I was feeding him at the time so it took me a minute to get to the door and by time I did he was crying to get back to the breast.

When I got to the door after only 2/3 minutes she was looking through the letter box!! I let her in and she said "oh I thought you must've been out as nobody answered, but then I heard a baby screaming and thought I'd better check, you never know do you"

Grr! He was only 'screaming' because I'd rushed him to get to you, you nosey old bag!

Another time she rang me to see how we were getting on, I mentioned he hadn't slept well but was light hearted about it, saying it's to be expected at 2 weeks old right? She ended the call with "if you're still struggling next week, give me a call" um.. way to make me feel useless! I didn't say I was struggling!

I think she means well, she's just so patronizing sometimes.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I put most of the time because even though it doesn't really bother me, I know I'm different in my parenting style than most of the mothers around here.

 

[sequeena]

Sometimes but I don't let it bother me now.

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont care who judges me. I have a mum who done that all my life its actually something I am used to. Just another persons opinion. To me there are more things to worry about and things to spend my energy on than that. But in the early days my mum would anger me. Just a matter of not caring any more.

 

[erikab922]

I put 'never' but I think that's just my perception - in fact I probably am but it just goes WHOOSH right over my head. I am one of those people who seem to always have their s**t together, my friends always say stuff like that but I think that I just put on a really good show for others because there's absolutely nothing special about me or anything that I know more than any other new mother. TBH I think most of the people around where I live are afraid to say a cross word to me because I'm the 'bolshy American' on the street and if I do something different than what others do they just think it's some new-fangled parenting technique which will become popular over here in 5-10 years.

Little do they realise, I am just as clueless as they are!

 

[Larkspur]

Nope! Because a) I'm awesome, and b) I am way too old (36) to give a f&*% what anyone thinks of me any more.

 

[alaskagrown]

Only on here! Ha!

 

[swood9]

I feel judged due to how I look. I have dreadlocks, I've had them for almost 10 years and manage a job that allows oh to be a sahd so why would I cut them? I love them. I also have quite a few tattoos. I have gone to play groups and literally gotten dirty looks from complete strangers. And when I try and talk to other mothers, they will act as though I'm not there. Not sure what could upset them other than my appearance bc what else have they got to go on? LO is clean, happy and sturdy. I keep our things nice.

Another reason i feel judged, honestly, is that I will admit to judging other mothers sometimes. It's almost always in situations where mothers Are mean or neglectful in public. Of course they would never know I notice let alone judge.


I feel a bit judged on here as I've really yet to make a friend and I'm a genuinely nice person, having posted to many of you several times. That being said, perhaps it's my fault.


And my confidence has little to do with the fact that I notice/feel judged. I just notice. Doesn't change anything.

 

[Dragonfly]

Its true though the older you get the less you care about what everyone thinks.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I feel judged due to how I look. I have dreadlocks, I've had them for almost 10 years and manage a job that allows oh to be a sahd so why would I cut them? I love them. I also have quite a few tattoos. I have gone to play groups and literally gotten dirty looks from complete strangers. And when I try and talk to other mothers, they will act as though I'm not there. Not sure what could upset them other than my appearance bc what else have they got to go on? LO is clean, happy and sturdy. I keep our things nice.

Another reason i feel judged, honestly, is that I will admit to judging other mothers sometimes. It's almost always in situations where mothers Are mean or neglectful in public. Of course they would never know I notice let alone judge.


I feel a bit judged on here as I've really yet to make a friend and I'm a genuinely nice person, having posted to many of you several times. That being said, perhaps it's my fault.


And my confidence has little to do with the fact that I notice/feel judged. I just notice. Doesn't change anything.

 

[MrsKyliePaton]

Only on here really, you see posts like 'I'm not one to judge but....' You read it and think well I've probably done something stupid like that and it does sometimes make you feel like crap that everyone is saying how bad it is etc, I usually do let it go over my head though as no one knows me or my circumstances and if family were to judge they get told lol, but I suppose everyone judges just some choose not to blast them judgements on forums or to there faces (don't really know if that made sense or if in rambling lol) xx

 

[Poppeteer]

I've never really been the kind of person to give a flying fcuk what people thing, and I'm not particularly sensitive to sly comments or looks I guess.


BUT once I went to a new mother and toddler group with my 11 month old.... It was full of very middle class yummy mummy types who all knew each other very well.

It got to break time, and everyone got out carrot sticks, healthy home made snacks for their babies/ toddler... And I hadn't bought anything. So lo was kicking off, I saw a shortbread type biscuit in the tin meant for the mums and gave it to my son.


Seriously the stunned silence that fell over the room..... I might as well given him neat vodka in a bottle for the reaction it provoked!!! One of the mums actually got up and moved the tin away and said loudly 'does anyone want a biscuit meant for MUMS'

So yeah, I've never felt more judged in my life. Hilarious as I'm a dentist, and i know a one off biscuit is not going to cause rampant caries...

But still I guess if it wasn't a biscuit it would have been something else so....

 

[vintagecat]

I have little contact with others, so I picked 'rarely'. I'm sure I am judged by other mothers on Facebook, but nobody ever says anything. I think it's best that way. I have only felt strongly judged on this site, but I have a backbone and am willing to defend my parenting decisions.

I have actually experienced the opposite of other mothers thinking that I am judging THEM, which is funny because I could care less. I think the only time I ever felt judgmental towards one of my friends was when she painted her 3 month old baby's fingernails. I felt it was dangerous.

 

[erikab922]

Edited by Admin

The post wasn't about BnB directly (in fact from far) and I would prefer it not to take that direction.

Thanks!

From me: OK no probs, totally understand!

 

[SabrinaKat]

I self-judge, e.g. am I doing everything okay for LO? but, as another poster said, as an old, old, old (45!) mum, am past carrying about what others' think -- unless they have good advice and/or know my LO well, beyond that, nope!

best wishes