Do you feel self conscious giving a bottle out and about?

[Dinah93]

I feel really embarrassed whipping out a bottle, my baby was premature and while over 4 months old now looks brand new as he's only 7lb, I feel like people are judging me for not breastfeeding. Part of me wants a sign that says 'I expressed for 4 months for him, he's older than he looks!' and part of me is just angry that as a society we've gone so far the other way that there is shame for feeding your baby in any manner at all.

 

[Ashley1021]

Not ashamed At all. Don't make yourself feel guilty. You're feeding your baby and that's all that matters.

 

[pinklizzy]

Yes I do. Obviously if he's hungry when we're out then I will feed him but if it's just for a short trip or to baby group etc then I'd try and time it around his feeds.

 

[mel28nicole]

Your baby is being fed and that's all that should matter! Don't ever feel guilty.

 

[Maxy1]

Don't worry about 'them'. They don't know you and their opinion doesn't count for anything. Feed your LO and enjoy the time. It is so fleeting so enjoy what you are doing!!

As mums, there will be judgment about everything about food with our kids. I BF my first for ages, and felt judged for extended BFing,and when I stopped I felt judged cos he has CMPI and gluten intolerance with food aversion so is too skinny, daycare tells me off for providing too many 'treat foods' in his lunch and empty calorie foods and blah blah - we do the best we can.

I am going to change to FF DD due to the intolerances this time and feel totally fine about it. Its better for our family to FF and thats all that counts.

Be proud that you are a great mum and are feeding your baby and putting your family first!!

 

[MrsT&Ben]

No never! My baby is being fed. If people have an issue with that then come an speak to me. I despise this guilt culture having a baby seems to have.
Never feel you have to explain your choices. You love and care for your baby. What else matters?

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

Mini never have and have always had lovely comments from people when out and about, lots of Ahhhhs when she's happily feeding and so on.

 

[pinklizzy]

I've had comments about my son's size when I've given him a bottle out of the house, things like 'wow, how much do you feed him, he's huge' and 'are you sure he needs any more milk?!'
I feel that if I was BFing people wouldn't say things along those lines but that might just be my own insecurities!

 

[_Meep_]

I've actually ended up in this forum by mistake but your post looked interesting so I read it lol.

When I see a woman with a bottle, I don't see anything at all except 'Baby, eating'. The sodding Breastapo make my teeth itch, and I'm breastfeeding myself. It really just DOESN'T MATTER in the grand scheme of things, yet some people seem to think breastfeeding is a bragging right or a reason to disapprove. I once posted on the La Leche League forum, asking advice (as I really don't enjoy breastfeeding and feel like giving up most days lol) and the women there were actually quite forceful with their views and opinions about how I basically must keep going as I was 'doing the best' for my baby. I don't think that's true at all. By feeding your baby - however you do it - you are giving your baby what he or she needs, right. Right? Apparently not ... wtf?

I say be proud of the way you are raising your child. You tried and it didn't work - breastfeeding is hard, but expressing all that time is incredible. Instead of sitting around depressed for the rest of your life, struggling, you chose a new line of nourishment for the sake of your baby's physical and emotional health.

Nothing wrong with that.

 

[liz1985]

I actually think most insecurity is in our heads. Ive breastfed and felt self conscious feeding and bottlefed and felt self conscious feeding. I know there must be people out there who like to make others feel bad but ive yet to actually meet one, and still ive felt insecure so it must be in my head. In my circle of friends the majority of people bottle feed so i always felt a bit of the odd one out breastfeeding, even though no one ever said anything. My friend just had a baby and bottle fed from birth and the amount of times she's tried to justify her reasons to me is unreal, even though ive made it clear if she's happy with her decision there's nothing to justify. The playgroup i go to is pretty even for bfeeders and ffeeders and no one ever bats an eyelid who's doing what, there's oftern one of each sat next to each other having a chat while feeding. As long as your baby is fed and happy be confidant in your choices.

 

[cherrylips100]

My babies are older now so it doesn't apply to me now. However at the beginning, I was upset, guilty and hormonal and felt like the only person in the world that wasn't breastfeeding. It seemed like everywhere I went there were posters and adverts advocating bf.
The truth is more people are formula feeding at 4 months than bf, most of these women probably wanted to but couldn't for various reasons. Don't feel self-conscious you are still nourishing and cuddling your baby and they still love you.

 

[Starry Night]

I get twinges of embarrassment from time to time and I'm FF'ing second time around. But I remember from my son that nobody really cares. All these horror stories you hear on the internet just have not happened to me and I've fed my babies their bottles in very public places. Honestly, I think there is still more 'shame' put on mom's for BF'ing in public. In my case, it's more feeling shame around my BF'ing friends than strangers. They don't try to be rude but it's always "Oh, why aren't you nursing?" and a simple "it didn't work out" never shuts them up. They keep pressing for further explanations and it's so irritating because it is followed up with "Oh, you should have done this" or "You should have tried that". One) I DID try that, didn't work. And Two)I really don't have to justify my choice and I am politely trying to shut down this conversation but you're making me have to become rude and I hate being rude! So thanks for that!

But with my friends it's not about the benefits of nursing so much as the reverse-snobbery that comes from saving money. I get to hear about how I buy clothes brand-new too.

 

[pinklizzy]

I had a client at work asking me about my son while I was working on the reception desk this week (I've been going back to do odd days and hadn't seen her since I went on mat leave) She asked whether I was still BFing and when I said no I got loads of questions about why and 'helpful' tips about how I could've increased my supply.
I was mortified and desperately trying to get away without answering her questions or appearing to be really rude, once she'd gone I had a little cry in the toilet

 

[kaylacrouch93]

I do! it sucks.. but its not because i FF its because at almost 5 months old my baby still cant have more than 4 oz of milk due to medical issues

 

[Dinah93]

I think it comes from the fact I have been stopped by someone I just met who was breastfeeding her baby while walking along in a sling, she told me how 'brave' I was to formula feed, with everyone knowing I was giving my child an inferior product, all that faff of sterilising and risking infection, she made me feel like I'd put a mix of vodka and domestos into my 1 year old's bottle not formula! I found myself desperately explaining how I was admitted to hospital at 10 weeks and started on medication for a tumour they told me untreated could kill me in a year, to which she told me she'd have put her baby first not herself...I thought I was since I didn't want my baby growing up without a mum!

 

[pinklizzy]

I think it comes from the fact I have been stopped by someone I just met who was breastfeeding her baby while walking along in a sling, she told me how 'brave' I was to formula feed, with everyone knowing I was giving my child an inferior product, all that faff of sterilising and risking infection, she made me feel like I'd put a mix of vodka and domestos into my 1 year old's bottle not formula! I found myself desperately explaining how I was admitted to hospital at 10 weeks and started on medication for a tumour they told me untreated could kill me in a year, to which she told me she'd have put her baby first not herself...I thought I was since I didn't want my baby growing up without a mum!

What an evil bitch!!!! I'm seriously gobsmacked!

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I think it comes from the fact I have been stopped by someone I just met who was breastfeeding her baby while walking along in a sling, she told me how 'brave' I was to formula feed, with everyone knowing I was giving my child an inferior product, all that faff of sterilising and risking infection, she made me feel like I'd put a mix of vodka and domestos into my 1 year old's bottle not formula! I found myself desperately explaining how I was admitted to hospital at 10 weeks and started on medication for a tumour they told me untreated could kill me in a year, to which she told me she'd have put her baby first not herself...I thought I was since I didn't want my baby growing up without a mum!

I feel so sorry for that child, having to grow up with a mother like that!

She's just another brainwashed robot. There is nothing wrong with formula, and I'm sure your baby prefers formula and Mommy to no Mommy at all! You did what was best for you and for your family, and that is the important thing.

 

[MrsT&Ben]

I think it comes from the fact I have been stopped by someone I just met who was breastfeeding her baby while walking along in a sling, she told me how 'brave' I was to formula feed, with everyone knowing I was giving my child an inferior product, all that faff of sterilising and risking infection, she made me feel like I'd put a mix of vodka and domestos into my 1 year old's bottle not formula! I found myself desperately explaining how I was admitted to hospital at 10 weeks and started on medication for a tumour they told me untreated could kill me in a year, to which she told me she'd have put her baby first not herself...I thought I was since I didn't want my baby growing up without a mum!

Wow!!! She sounds great......
Why do people feel the need to judge???

 

[Melly Belly]

I dont, because what anyone else thinks about it doesnt bother me, im feeding my baby the best way i am able to, and thats all that should matter, she isnt neglected, she isnt malnourished, etc. I did breastfeed my baby for the first 2 months of her life (pumping as well, to try to build up my milk)...i had to stop because i couldnt function off my medication (a stimulant that most definitely transfers over in breastmilk) beyond simple things around the house because i was falling asleep so often...i have narcolepsy, and it was a tough decision, but we decided that it was better for me to function and formula feed than to be a zombie and attempt to breastfeed (which, i was only able to pump about an ounce, maybe two, after sitting for an hour every day anyway)...my OB said that any amount and time is better than none, and didnt make me feel like a criminal for stopping when I did...i bottle feed her in public, have at restaurants and at social functions...no one has said a word to me..maybe im just lucky for that

 

[5_Year_Plan]

I think it comes from the fact I have been stopped by someone I just met who was breastfeeding her baby while walking along in a sling, she told me how 'brave' I was to formula feed, with everyone knowing I was giving my child an inferior product, all that faff of sterilising and risking infection, she made me feel like I'd put a mix of vodka and domestos into my 1 year old's bottle not formula! I found myself desperately explaining how I was admitted to hospital at 10 weeks and started on medication for a tumour they told me untreated could kill me in a year, to which she told me she'd have put her baby first not herself...I thought I was since I didn't want my baby growing up without a mum!

That is literally unbelievable! I cannot believe someone would be so rude & outrageously judgemental! & to what end?! That's not well meaning busy body, which is forgivable, that's off the scale bitchiness!!

I tried & tried with my first, who was 5 Weeks early, & just as I said "today is the last day" (his due date in fact) he took to the breast. I was pleased I had & loved it, & everyone is really impressed that I persued it that long, so 4 months is amazing!

This time round, after another stay in SCBU I have a week old baby who won't take to the breast and have just made the decision to bottle feed and a so much happier without the anxiety & stress that each feed had been causing before - we have definitely made the right decision for us, & although I would have loved to have breastfed him, I know we will all be calmer & happier this way & I get to enjoy him, & that's what's important. Having a baby doesn't have to be a struggle, why not go with the flow & enjoy it, rather than beating yourself up over what might have been... People can think what they like, but I'm happy to be able to cuddle & feed a contended baby don't let anyone make you feel otherwise

Xxx