Do you feel self conscious giving a bottle out and about?

[Midnight_Fairy]

Genuinely couldn't give a damn. My 23mth old has even had juice in a bottle while out. I nver notice people around me looking probably because I dont care

 

[wifey2013]

I haven't had to feed LO out and about yet - only at friends and relatives homes - but if I had to feed my LO in public I would. I don't care what other people think/say. I know my son needs to eat and if formula is the way we're doing it then so be it! We tried BF as that's what I was dead set on doing but my nipples were inverted/flat and he just wouldn't latch - even to a nipple shield - he would get very frustrated and so would I, formula was just the right option for us. I was formula fed (I was adopted at birth) and I have no health issues to this day and I still bonded with my mom - and my dad because of bottle feeding! To this day we're as close as ever!! Do what you have to forget what other people think!

 

[MrsVenn]

I feel I shouldn't be in the BF/feeding rooms more than anything.. I was in Mothercare the other day and DS needed a feed. I sat outside the feeding room as it had BF pillows etc so looked like it was more for that purpose and a little privacy for BF mums so I saton the bench outside in the corridor. One of the managers happened to pass me whilst i was FF, she grabbed mu buggy and pushed it in to the room, came back out quickly and said "you're not inferior, your son deserves to be fed in warmth, comfort and quiet as well" I burst in to tears, lol! I didn't even prompt her but she obviously understood, it was a nice change. So do I feel self conscious, yes very unfortunately.

 

[_Meep_]

Aw MrsVenn, that made me really sad! I commented on this thread a while back (hence why I am seeing your comment now) but just wanted to say that - personally, at least - I wouldn't feel ANY sort of negative/weird/smug feeling towards a mum FFing in the same feeding room while I was BFing!!! And anyone who does is a total cow.

 

[MrsVenn]

Aw MrsVenn, that made me really sad! I commented on this thread a while back (hence why I am seeing your comment now) but just wanted to say that - personally, at least - I wouldn't feel ANY sort of negative/weird/smug feeling towards a mum FFing in the same feeding room while I was BFing!!! And anyone who does is a total cow.

Aw thank you.

 

[Kiwiberry]

I feel more embarrassed breastfeeding out in public than giving a bottle. Honestly about 70% of the US bottle feeds (sorry if your not from the US), so its not like its something new for people to see. I agree with a PP, I think its all in our heads. All that matters is the baby is getting fed! It's too often I see parents that just ignore their baby and let it cry. Makes me really sad for that baby and how neglectful their parents are. It won't get any better as they get older.

As for having a preemie, I totally understand. My baby is 4 months actual age and only weighs just over 8lbs. I feel like I have a book to explain to people when they ask how old she is. I still have not figured an easy way around it. If I just tell them her adjusted age, I feel like I am lying.

 

[_Meep_]

I guess there's always likely to be some arse who has to make a comment, rather than just seeing your baby for the special, perfect being he or she is. When my daughter was newborn (8 lb 15 oz), everyone commented on how long and big and strong she was, then she gradually dropped nearly three centiles (normal 'catch-down' growth apparently, but it still terrified me). When she was about five months, a checkout lady in ASDA asked me how old she was and when I told her, she was all like 'Ooh, really? But she's TINY!' She wasn't tiny. She was following the 50th centile line, so completely average - but her comment scared me so much that I went straight to the HV to get her weighed and asked her if my daughter looked normal for a five month old.

I too feel self-conscious BFing in public, because babies are such an area of interest to every nosy sod out there, and wherever you are/whatever you're doing with your baby, there's always going to be someone having a sneaky, or all-out obvious, look. But we don't have to explain anything to anyone. Regular adults in restaurants or checkout-queues don't randomly ask each other whether they were breast- or formula-fed, vaginally or C-section delivered, premature or term, when they first walked, how they sleep at night, etc. I'm fed up of all the baby-comparing that goes on out there. Having recently given birth doesn't make our babies, OR our general privacy, public property ...

 

[Dinah93]

The preemie baby explaining never goes away! We were out for lunch last weekend and my daughter was dancing to the music next to the table. The manager came over and cooed over how sweet she was then said 'she's about 20, 21 months?' ...'erm no she's 35 months!' The lady could not have looked more shocked.

Have to say the breastfeeding wars actually put me off having another baby, if I have to chat to another smug mummy about how squirting mummy's milk up her nose has not only cured her cold but given her a full head of curls and xray vision as well I may punch someone. Or watch a discussion entirely quoting a feeding supporter or a blog article, then when I mention a scientific publication with different results I get 'well scientists don't know about breastfeeding!'. I was actually asked to get up from my chair at a playgroup the other week by a mum who needed to feed her baby....mine was feeding at the time and when I pointed this out she actually said 'yes but I breastfeed!' - clearly my son can wait for his bottle that he was happily chugging (that was 50% expressed milk but the breastmilk contents shouldn't dictate if he gets to eat say down or balanced and squirmy. Argh! Sorry, real rant there but I'm so strongly of the opinion that it's personal how you feed and not for anyone else to lecture of judge and I feel like I get it everywhere.

 

[_Meep_]

Ugh, it makes me sick that there are people like that out there ...

 

[Kiwiberry]

Wow I can't believe she actually asked you to move out of your chair..... The nerve of some people I swear!

 

[StranjeGirl]

I feel self conscious too. Personally I don't think "breast is best" for everyone, nor do I think that formula is inferior to breast milk (as the current research proves that it truly is not inferior) Most of my family did not breastfeed, and my friends who did breastfeed, are very non judgmental and couldn't care less how a baby is fed. However, the hospital I delivered at shoved breastfeeding down your throat, and everyone - EVERYONE seems to ask if I am nursing. Tons of people at my husbands work have asked dh if I am nursing. It is SO annoying!! I am still nursing/pumping twice a day just so I can tell everyone that I am breastfeeding because I just don't want to deal with telling them I am not. I hate it- my boobs hurt, my nipples are killing me because dd has a terrible latch that has left me in serious pain and I want to quit but I feel like people are going to give me crap about it. With my first dd, I basically made no milk, despite spending a fortune on a lactation consultant and supplements. Poor dd almost ended up in the hospital. I completely dried up at 7 weeks when dd refused to even try anymore (she was getting formula at this time but I was still trying). I felt so horrible that I failed (now I realize how stupid I was for wasting my effort and precious time with my baby spending all my time trying to bf when low supply). I went to a chiropractor at 11 weeks postpartum and he asked me if I was breastfeeding (I thought it was because he wanted to talk about posture etc) and when I said that I just recently stopped he gave me this totally disappointed look and said "oh what a shame. My wife and I have 4 children and she breastfed all 4 children for over a year." I seriously should have gotten up and walked out. I never went back to him. I am mad at myself for being uncomfortable FF in public(although I still do it), and mad at myself for still trying to give dd some breast milk even though I know it is not doing her any more good then giving her formula. I just don't want to deal with the stupid people asking questions and giving me their unwanted opinions.

 

[Sarah lo]

I'm in the process of weaning my LO into formula after breastfeeding for 9 months so I've experienced both BF and FF in public. I actually think I get less disapproving stares now that I am bottle feeding than I did when I was breastfeeding so I feel much less self conscious with a bottle. From my breastfeeder's point of view, when I see someone FF in public it doesn't even cross my mind to judge, as far as I'm concerned they are feeding their baby, as simple as that.

It makes me sad that so many mums, be they formula or breast feeding feel so judged.

 

[ToughhGal]

I did feel insecure at first. Especially because we did attempt BF but she is tongue tied and could not latch on at all. She screamed when she couldn't and it was too much hassle. My lactation consultant and one of my birth nurses made me feel so guilty like I was depriving my baby of life! I eventually got over it. My baby is getting fed and gaining the right amount of weight. That's all a mother could ask for.