do you find noone listens

[mumof7]

was browsing the forums was so preoccupied with first trimester and only been in there a lot now i found this one which is a god send

i have 7 children nearly 8 lol anyway i have 1 12 year old daughter who has left side hemiplegia and is doing really well shes just had an operation on her leg and foot well back in september and so far been really sucessful got her foot almost 90 degrees so is fantastic ...thats not my main problem my main problem is my 10 year old little boy i just find noone is listening to me regarding his problems
he is currently undergoing testing only taken 2 years for them to see him disgraceful in my opinion he attends mainstream school but is currently on a duel statement for behavourial and learning difficulties
the school initially were helpful and couldnt do enough fdor him when they were trying to get his statment as soon as its received they cant be bothered so it seems to me
hes being excluded all the time cos of his violent outbursts he just flips over little things and then goes off his head
the assesment center we have had a lot of dealings with appointments etc discussing what my son is like what he does etc etc they are assesing him cos they think he may have asd traits not all but some ie obsessive social interaction etc etc
we tried getting into a special school the head of the particular school said he would fit in so well there so did the head and the deputy head/senco coordinator of his current school then the big downer came the educational psycologist who barley nos harry has met him on maybe 3 occasions decided to test him they sent me the results and basically u had to score below a certain level to be considered for possible admission into this school he scored slightly above so on this decision she decided he didnt need to be a special school we are fuming and damn annoyed everyone agrred him going there would have been in his benefit but down to this one women he has now lost out i feel as a mum i have no say in anything i feel powerless over my owns sons education he needs one to one but doesnt receive it cos his statmenting doesnt cater for it thats what i think as his mum why do i think this ???? well on the times hes been excluded put it this way his attendance for this term was 84 percent...sorry anyway when hes been excluded he has to bring works sheets home very simple ones ie year 1 level with one to one he will sit and complete these theres no distractions just me and him and hes a little star bless him he can barley read and write im worried sick about him i feel likes hes being pushed aside noone actually gives a damn apart from me i just feel totally lost i no we need this diagnosis so i can finally sort things out if he has a label i dont want him to have one but if they can then maybe something will happen positively for my son i keep saying to everybody i just wanna no whats gong on with him i find it really hard to handle him at times

sometimes i just feel so stressed when hes at school im waiting for the phone call come and get him hes done this or that im constantly bk and forward picking him up i love him to pieces but i no im struggling with it all

sorry for the ramble

 

[Tegans Mama]

Have you taken him to see your GP? If you haven't, I would take him and try and get them to listen. Make a diary of the things he does - i.e he is in trouble at school and can't concentrate yet when he's at home, he does well by himself.
If you have a health visitor or a medical professional who you are already in contact with, maybe ask them about it. I don't have any real advice because my daughters disability is a physical one which was present from birth, so we don't need to fight for a diagnosis etc.

I hope you get the help you need.

 

[oldermummy]

Hi, sorry to hear you are having these problems, my 2 yr old has been under assessment for asd for a few months now and I have found this ( https://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?act=idx ) an invaluble source of help and info, have a look through there will be lots of advice that may be of help especially with how to get the help you need. Good luck and take care. x

 

[velvetina]

Hey hun. My experience of the asd world and schooling for a lot of people is to make one hell of a bloody nuisance of yourself.!!!! I personally was very lucky in having my son transferred (although it was from one special unit to a special school) but in another borough. My old borough had never diagnosed him (such a joke) so every time his paper went to panel it was to speech and language provision which was not right for him either.

In the end my current borough had a specialised asd educational psychologist visit with the standard one and because she was so specialised her report was invalueable. I would find out if your borough has access to a specialist asd educ psych and ask to speak with her/him.

I would also call your local Partnership for Parents (funded by the borough but to give indepant advice) they are good at giving advice on where to obtain suport and what your rights are in this situation. I think this is where you are going to have to be really forceful, in using your son's rights to an education and the support he needs to obtain it.

I know it is frustrating and if it is not in your nature to be like this (it is not in mine) it can be extra hard, but it will be so worth it to get him to a specialised environment, where he will probably thrive with the specialist knowledge that sadly with asd is limited in a lot of schools to the extent it is needed.

Let us know how you get on hun. x

I

 

[mumof7]

he had been to see a gp 2 years ago and they reffered him its all so annoying tbh there is many ppl who is involved with helping or thats what they say it doesnt matter which road i take i feel like theres brick wall after brick wall being built and door after door being slammed in my face i dont want my little boy to becoe another one of those statistics we so often read about not getting the help they need ive been very forceful with the school but again its like hand in your face and stop overreacting scenario ive even though about teaching him at home although deep down i have not the experience to do this and then that would even more socially wise be bad for him i think at the moment things are uncertain as we dont have a diagnosis for him of any kind they keep saying hes a complex little boy and theres so much going on with him bascially do u no what i see coming out of this absolutley nothing noone will be any of the wiser my little boy will slip through the net if they have their way its so frustrating being a mum u always fight for your kids and do everything u can for them no matter what i am fighting a loosing battle although i no that im not about to give up on him far from it i think my DH is concerned to cos he nos how i get and it will all explode and they wont no whats hit them i swear they want the full works education authority, newpapers ooops its ok calming down deep breaths lol