do you let your kids see you upset? Or not show it?

[shazney22]

do you let your kids see you cry or upset if your having a bad day? I do but feel guilty and awful as I don't like my LO seeing me upset and worry about my LO saying I was upset and crying. But sometimes I just have a bad day and feel I need to cry, although I feel it would be better if I didn't do it infront of my LO

 

[MiniKiwi]

I guess if I could, I'd choose not to let LO see me upset but it often doesn't work like that, does it? The last time I cried was in front of LO as I picked her up from kindy and could hear her crying Mamma, mamma before she'd even seen me. I just ran to her and broke down crying! So we had a wee cry together.

Are you ok though? Do you have someone to talk to when you're having a bad day? Or someone to watch LO if you're feeling rubbish? Hope you're alright and your LO will be ok if you have a little cry infront of them every now and then

 

[bumpy_j]

Yes I do and I don't feel bad about it. I want my LO to know that adults can get upset or overwhelmed and that there's nothing wrong with it. A cuddle from LO normally makes it all better anyway.

I hope you're okay x

 

[shazney22]

I guess if I could, I'd choose not to let LO see me upset but it often doesn't work like that, does it? The last time I cried was in front of LO as I picked her up from kindy and could hear her crying Mamma, mamma before she'd even seen me. I just ran to her and broke down crying! So we had a wee cry together.

Are you ok though? Do you have someone to talk to when you're having a bad day? Or someone to watch LO if you're feeling rubbish? Hope you're alright and your LO will be ok if you have a little cry infront of them every now and then

I'm fine thanks, just had a bit of a rubbish morning, this miserable weather in Scotland doesn't seem to help. Yes I have someone to talk to if I need to and my OH watches my LO if I am feeling rubbish. Thanks. I think me, my OH and LO are all spending too much time in one another's company and getting on one another's nerves sometimes lol

 

[sparkle_1979]

To be honest I try and hide it if possible but also it depends on why I'm crying. If I've had a row with the hubby or just feeling like crap I would hide it. When my uncle passef I let them see me cry a little.

I remember seeing my mum cry a few times and remember feeling awful do I would hate for my kids to feel that x

 

[Dragonfly]

No I express how I feel and deal with it. My children normally help me as I do them. Its a good example to set for problem solving skills. If you have a problem say it dont hide it.

 

[MiniKiwi]

That's good to hear, not that you had a crap day but that it's not a big deal at least!

I do remember seeing my mum cry on a couple of occasions and felt as though the world was probably ending, that's why I don't want to cry in front of my LO. It made me very anxious as a child. Seeing my dad cry didn't bother me though. I suppose the two times I saw him cry it was because somebody had died so I knew why, I didn't know what had made my mum cry those times.

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[emyandpotato]

Yes I do and I don't feel bad about it. I want my LO to know that adults can get upset or overwhelmed and that there's nothing wrong with it. A cuddle from LO normally makes it all better anyway.

I hope you're okay x

This. It's important to teach that emotions are absolutely normal and should be shared. If I'm upset in front of Rory he comes and strokes my hair and gives me a cuddle, which is lovely. I do try not to argue in front of him but sometimes it can't be helped.

 

[Yo_Yo]

I try not to personally as my eldest starts getting upset herself, theme I feel mega guilty.
If I am upset I explain why mummy is upset to try to get her to understand the emotions.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Yes and I feel awful! We're together all the time outside of work/nursery so whenever I get upset he's there. It always made me really sad as a child though to see my mum upset (not gonna lie it still makes me uncomfortable), so I hate that Lucas sees it.
He's really good about it, puts his arms around me and says "it's alright, don't worry". Cutie! But if I can avoid him seeing I will.

 

[Bex84]

my lo has seen me upset, she has also seen me work through those feelings. Its healthy, my parents deny ever fighting, but every thing was swept under carpet. I never learnt to deal with emotions till ending up with depression as not able to deal with 3 deaths in short amount of time. We didn't talk about feelings growing up as it was showing 'weekness'. Even when my dad had an affair we were not allowed to discuss emotions, when I was bullied it wasent discussed. I want my lo to know its normal and we can work together through those feelings. When she is sad I validate those feelings. When a beloved family pet died I cried and my lo came and hugged me and knew mummy felt sad and I see nothing wrong with her seeing that. I felt I couldent talk about emotions and ended up having lots of panic attacks growing up so I want lo to feel like whatever emotion she can talk to me and its normal

 

[Baby Bell]

Yes and I feel awful about it. I'm a very emotional person anyway, December is a hard time for us, it's LOs birthday at the start and on the 20th it's my angels birthday. Iv found it very difficult to deal with this year, and find myself crying a lot. It's awful because LO will start to cry with me he's too young to understand why mummy's crying, it breaks my heart and makes it harder to control my emotions

 

[BigLegEmma]

do you let your kids see you cry or upset if your having a bad day? I do but feel guilty and awful as I don't like my LO seeing me upset and worry about my LO saying I was upset and crying. But sometimes I just have a bad day and feel I need to cry, although I feel it would be better if I didn't do it infront of my LO

I think it healthier to not hide emotions from children, so don't feel bad. Explain to LO (when/if old enough) you're having a bad day and sometimes people cry and it makes them feel better afterwards. But yeah, children shouldn't be sheltered from a range of emotions as long as they're healthily displayed. Otherwise, lock yourself in the bathroom and bawl for a bit x

 

[bumpy_j]

Yes and I feel awful about it. I'm a very emotional person anyway, December is a hard time for us, it's LOs birthday at the start and on the 20th it's my angels birthday. Iv found it very difficult to deal with this year, and find myself crying a lot. It's awful because LO will start to cry with me he's too young to understand why mummy's crying, it breaks my heart and makes it harder to control my emotions

 

[Natsku]

I do. Its hard to hide from her anyway but I also think it is good to let them see you experience different emotions so they can learn from you how to deal with them. Plus she does usually make me feel better with cuddles, or putting me to bed with her teddies.

 

[tallybee]

I think it's important to show them that emotions are normal and human. We can all have bad days and sometimes things happen that make us upset. Trying to repress that is not healthy x

 

[Rachel_C]

I'd let them see me cry at anything they can understand - something sad they know about, when we talk about my grandma who died, if something sad happens on TV, when I'm happy to see them etc. I'd also let them see me cry if it was just a really bad day but I'd make sure to explain why I'm sad. If it was an everyday thing I would probably try to hide it though, as I'm not sure it's fair to put that on them... but it probably depends on your personality. I'm a 'get on with it' kind of person and they obviously know that. If I cried more easily I'm sure they'd know that too so it would be less of a shock if I did!

 

[Vesta]

I think there's a healthy middle ground between not showing any negative emotions in front of your children at all, and using them as an unpaid therapist. I just try to aim for that.

 

[louandivy]

Yes and I feel awful! We're together all the time outside of work/nursery so whenever I get upset he's there. It always made me really sad as a child though to see my mum upset (not gonna lie it still makes me uncomfortable), so I hate that Lucas sees it.
He's really good about it, puts his arms around me and says "it's alright, don't worry". Cutie! But if I can avoid him seeing I will.

It used to really disturb me to see my mum upset too so I'm not sure how I feel about this at all...I generally don't show when I'm upset to anyone anyway, I honestly can't remember the last time I cried in front of someone so my immediate reaction is to either suck it up or find somewhere to cry alone if I'm upset. Not sure whats best though really!