do you let your kids see you upset? Or not show it?

[Bex84]

I think its just a balancing act, I am not generally someone to cry so my daughter rarely would see my upset as I am usually a quite happy person, however when I am upset on the odd occasion lo isn't upset as I explain mummys just sad, and when she is sad I will tell her its ok to show she is sad or angry. Obviously you don't discuss adult issues with them but it is ok to see maybe mummy isn't happy

 

[Sarahkka]

I lost my brother six weeks ago and I knew I was going to be weeping in front of my boys, as you don't always have iron control over your feelings where grief is concerned. I told them why I was crying and then I would try to let them have a solution for it: cheering me up with a hug. It worked very well, I think. They knew I was very sad, but they also had an action to make the situation better.
I think it is perfectly normal and natural to have emotions in front of children. I would try very hard not to demonstrate the anger side of things: losing my temper, arguing with someone, etc But when it is sadness or frustration, I think it is fine for kids to witness parents emote, as long as they aren't being frightened by it. As others have said, they learn to express feelings and to cope with them by watching us do it. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[wishuwerehere]

Sorry for your loss sarahkka

I think it's important for children to see people experiencing and dealing with their emotions. Now at the moment I'm pregnant and stupid ass things make me upset all the time and I don't share all this with my daughter. But there are some experiences in life, such as losing a relative, which are universally upsetting and I think it's healthy for children to see it's ok to be upset in that scenario, that grown ups are not infallible or immune to upset, and that there are healthy ways to deal with your feelings.

A couple of times I have cried in front of my daughter and she has comforted me, in her way. If I hadn't let my upset out I probably would have expressed it as anger at a later time - surely it was healthier for my daughter to see and learn about upset and comforting some, rather than be on the receiving end of any irrational poorly directed anger?

 

[x__amour]

I agree with bumpy_j. I think it's important that they understand we get sad/frustrated just like them. My daughter was only 2 when DH and I split up for a few months and I definitely had my fair share of crying and even as young as she was, she still comforted me and it was so much help. I have emotional days now and then and she's always my cuddle buddy.

 

[CoffeePuffin]

I wouldn't let LO see me break down but I wouldn't hide all my emotions either I think it's important that they see that everyone has feelings.

 

[mummylove]

Sometimes i cant help it and end up crying in front of my kids and they always give me a cuddle and say its going to be alright

 

[LuckyYem]

I show my emotions around the girls' I feel it is important to show that its okay to show all emotions (obviously not going to have a full scale argument in front of them). In saying that I don't set out to cry infront of them but if I do a quick explantion of 'mummy feels a bit sad' a quick cuddle then its business as usaul. Yes I am a mummy but I'm human too.

 

[Lauraxamy]

If I was to cry at a movie or something then, yes, but there's been times I've been really upset and no I wouldn't let them see that.

 

[Emma&Freya]

No, but thats because I struggle to cry

 

[AlexisF]

I think it's important that children see what real emotions are, as long as they're controlled and nothing extreme. It's a case by case situation, really.

 

[Tasha]

Yes and I feel awful about it. I'm a very emotional person anyway, December is a hard time for us, it's LOs birthday at the start and on the 20th it's my angels birthday. Iv found it very difficult to deal with this year, and find myself crying a lot. It's awful because LO will start to cry with me he's too young to understand why mummy's crying, it breaks my heart and makes it harder to control my emotions

Please dont feel awful for it, he may not understand but he wont remember this time either. Don't fight what you are feeling, smile and laugh but cry too

 

[Tasha]

I do cry in front of them. I never use to but then they struggled with their grief (for their sisters), it mostly came out in anger as they didn't know how to channel it all. So now I cry in front of them and they know it is okay to cry in front of us and other people.

 

[Chris77]

I try really hard not to let PJ see me upset. A couple of times I couldn't help myself though and he got really concerned. So, now I really try to make an effort to cry away from him.

 

[skc22]

I try and not cry in front of my LO if I'm really upset. I have once, full on crying after I found out my oh was having affair and I couldn't stop. She started sobbing which made me worse and we cuddled and cried together. It was awful. She picks up on my emotions anyway, and if I'm down she always comes over and strokes my hair and says 'don't be sad mummy' and gives me loads of kisses and cuddles and is usually very clingy. I want her to know it's ok to cry and show your emotions, but I don't want her to see me like that again

 

[LaDY]

I try not to as LO tends to get really worried and gets a little upset...however there has been times when i have not been able to hide it...x

 

[bookreader]

I think it is healthy to show emotion but also for LO to understand why.

I remember my mum being upset and it made me feel anxious, but this wasn't because she was crying, but because I didn't understand why. If she had explained to me why and reassured me then I think it could have been quite healthy.

 

[Amber4]

I think it depends what the situation is whether LO should see you crying. I think there's things children shouldn't know about and it would only cause them to worry. (Arguments with partners, stress, etc)

But things like grief should defo be shared with children or things like being upset if you've hurt yourself. So I agree with letting them see you cry for that.

Just my 2p worth x

 

[Amy92x]

I rarely cry, but if I did and had kids I wouldn't do it in front of them.

When I was growing up my father was (unbeknown to me at the time) cheating on my mum and as a result she often cried and did so in front of me sometimes. It really upset me to see that and I would never want my child to have to feel how I felt, not that it has scarred me for life or anything, but it wasn't nice.