do you think a nearly 10 month old should be able to self settle?

[feisty_filly]

iv always put ryan to bed, given him his bottle and then sat with him stroking his face ect untill he falls asleep but just recently iv started to wonder if he should be getting himself off to sleep?. im going away for the weekend and i know my hubbie wont have the patients to sit with him like that... i dont know weather iv made a "rod for my own back" so to speak?
help ladys!

 

[~KACI~]

umm yes and no, i have always had mine self settling early on but if it you don't mind doing it then its fine, but maybe it something you should consider starting, it will make it alot easier for you

 

[PrincessJenna]

My LO has now been self settling for about 6 weeks it's so much easier....I read somewhere do it gradually take a step further towards the door every night then hopefully lo will settle thmselves x

 

[jojo2605]

Hi hun. There's so much on here about babies self settling and it really does make you think that all babies should be doing it asap.

My experience is that my son who is 1 doesn't really self settle, well not all the time anyway. He has never been a good sleeper and has gone through stages of being awful to get to bed for his naps and for bed at night.

Now however we have gotten into a routine that works welll for both of us. I take him upstairs now, give him his snuggly thing, sit him on my lap on the rocking chair in his room and give him cuddles for 2-5 mins. Sometimes he will fall asleep on me and I put him down. Other times he'll just fidget for 5 minutes, so then I put him down and he might take just a little longer to get to sleep himself. Or he might not want cuddles at all as he's so tired he just wants to lie down!!! No night is the same for us.

Some people may say that I have made a rod for my own back by having to cuddle him before he'll go down but I don't really care as long as we can get him down to sleep without getting distressed like he hs in the past. Also, the way I see it, there will never be a time (until he is older I guess) that I won't take him up to bed and spend some time with him before he goes to sleep. Whether that be a story or taking about his day, etc. So I don't see this to be any hardship at all.

I say do what works for you, you could always try to see how he gets on without your help, but if he doesn't manage to self settle, I personally would not worry about it. A lot of the time babies change their routine quite regularly so even if your LO self settled now, he might go through a bout of teething or an illness, etc and it could put you back to square one anyway. x

 

[redpoppy]

All babies are different and it depends what your parenting style is.

Stroking a baby's face to sleep isn't really very difficult and I suppose I would be quite happy to do that till they were old enough to figure out they didn't need it. (having said that I CCd my Lo three weekends ago as she was waking every hour through the night)

Some babies NEVER need anything to get them to sleep and others do. And they change all the time.

My LO's ill again now so I'm obviously pampering her and she's not dropping off like she was as she's not well.

But if you want to teach self settling it can be difficult but some babies take to it very well.

To just dabble, try minimising what you do and leave your baby just before they drop off? Some babies don't need what we think they need or at least not all of the time.

 

[emmieloulous]

I breastfed both my boys but i have left them to self settle from a very early age making sure that they didn't just use me to fall asleep. My eldest was sleeping through from 6 weeks old and my 2nd son was sleeping through from 4 weeks old. I give them cuddles all through the day, am a very cuddly and kissing Mummy. But i am very strict with bedtimes. I believe in putting them to bed, reading a story, saying night night and giving kisses and cuddles and that's it. If they cry i will go in and check everything is ok but never pick them up unless there is a major problem - which there never has been. They have understood from a few weeks old that this is the night time routine and so they don't fuss. Neither go to bed with any fuss and they are now 1 and 4 and i still have no problems.

I personally would never give a child a bottle when going to bed because i would be worried about them choking, or being sick on what they have drunk and again choking, and also if they needed winding. But that is a personal preference.

My advice would be to break the cycle now whilst he is still only 10 months or else i fear you are storing up trouble for a few years of sleepless nights and problems at bedtime.

 

[feisty_filly]

thanks every one, im not too sure how to get him out of the habbit, other than doing cc? any advice is very apreciated

 

[moomoo]

I do think they should, although my lo doesn't... He refuses!! Normal parenting methods don't really work with my lo :/

 

[Seraphim]

Well H doesn't.
It was impossible to hug kiss and say n'night when she was small - she was so full of wind all the time.
I don't believe you can just change the rules on them to suit yourself, so we've been gradually winding down the mama-help going to sleep.. actually H started it, staying awake feeding, then wriggling until she was put down etc...
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the bedtime I can just scoot off (she's started resettling herself in the night) but it's a learning curve for them, and I hope to make it as stress free for her as possible.

 

[emmieloulous]

I would just take it gently. It is going to be a wrench for you because you are used to that special time together. But it would also be a shock for him if you stopped straight away. Maybe start with giving him his last bottle with him meal or just after his bath rather than in bed.

Then once you have cracked that you could cut down slowly the amount of time you spend in the room. So stroke his face but maybe only for 2 minutes without sending him to sleep and gradually reduce the time, until you get to the stage of a nice kiss and cuddle before you leave the room.

I wouldn't do anything rash or too quickly as he sounds in a routine already and it could do more harm than good. But i am sure you will crack it soon enough, good luck xxx