Do you think fathers have a right to decide your pain relief in labour?

[mrscitysmith]

I have just watched that episode this morning and don't think I have ever shouted at the the tv so much. If that was my husband being so insensetive I would have told him not to bother being in the delivery room! I wanted to punch him in the face. Then again I'm over due and pretty much want to punch everybody in the face at the moment. It was even filmed in my hometown so you never know if I see him before I give birth...

 

[Eleanor ace]

DH would rather (in an ideal world) I don't get an epidural due to the potential risks to the baby (and to me) but if I want one, he's fine with it. Of course he should have an opinion- its his baby too, but at the end of the day I as the one giving birth have final say over what pain relief I have and he will agree with me.

 

[Sunshinebubs]

Im all for discussing things when it comes to our children, but this is where I put my foot down. No vagina? no uterus? NO OPINION. And if the situation were reversed i don't believe for a second ANY man out there would do this naturally whether told to by his partner or not.

 

[amjon]

My DH would probably opt for me to have an epi at the first contraction. He can't stand seeing me in any pain. I don't think men should get a say. They aren't the ones in labor. If my DH tried to tell me I couldn't have pain meds that I wanted I would make him leave the delivery room.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

Not at all. They're not going through the pain and therefore, in my opinion, have no say in what pain relief the mother receives. They can express a wish to their partner for less pain relief and she can CONSIDER it, but at the end of the day she is the one experiencing the pain, not him.

 

[weffi82]

I watched it just now and i was totally on that guys side, totally see his point. I think it should be discussed prior to labour and if the woman says she doesnt want a particular pain relief then decides in labour she cant take it the ladies partner will need to be strong for her and help her through reminding her of her decisision of going drug free.

 

[qpaulina42]

wffi82, that's an excellent point. Also why I got a doula, just in case I needed extra convincing not to do it.

 

[MumToEva]

My hubby and I were both in agreement that we wanted to keep pain relief to a minimum when I was having my daughter because she was already higher risk due to IUGR. But we also agreed that it was up to me at the end of the day because I would be the one going through it, so if I felt differently during labour he would have supported my decision fully. I think you really can't know how you will cope with the experience of labour until you are there.

 

[Apple111]

I watched it last night with OH and we both thought he was an immature idiot that needs to grow up, clearly not done his homework.. Fair enough, this is my third labour and I know what's coming.. I'm really going to try and go as natural as poss after having epi with first and pethodine last minute with second but it's my choice on the day. It was lack of support and consideration or his OH that really annoyed
me..

Rant over xx

 

[ChelliBelle]

I'd only let him decide my level of pain relief if he agreed to have his testicles placed in a turn screw vice- and every time i had a contraction the vice was tightened
Think he would agree on pain relief sharpish lol

 

[xxxemmaxxx]

I wouldn't have a baby with someone who was so controlling!

 

[SuperKat]

I wouldn't have a baby with someone who was so controlling!

Agreed! The idea of a man thinking he had that right over my body disgusts me.

 

[nevernormal]

I'm planning to go without pain relief, and I know that's what DH prefers for me too, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't try to stop me! However, I AM hoping to be able to rely on his judgement when I'm in labor, as to whether I've just lost control in the moment and am panicking (in which case he could hopefully bring be back down to a better headspace) or whether I genuinely cannot take it anymore. If I gave in during a moment of panic, that I could've come down from, I would definitely regret it and having him there as a voice of reason may be just what I need. Then again, I've never done this before, so who knows!

 

[ukgirl23]

I think that men hear the horror stories of how epidurals make you 20% more likely to need an emergency c section ect.. and think it's best to have nothing... BUT... they are not going through the pain and having to deal with that so no I don't think they can stop you having pain relief but I do value my partners opinion and I would consider his view seriously.... before laughing at him and sticking my arm out for the pethadine!

 

[mara16jade]

I wanted to punch him in the face. Then again I'm over due and pretty much want to punch everybody in the face at the moment. It was even filmed in my hometown so you never know if I see him before I give birth...

LMAO!!

 

[jozylynn896]

Wtf?!
I would be pissed if any one in the whole works thought they had a say so.