Do You Think Feeling Old Is A State Of Mind?

[mrsj13]

Well this is not entirely pregnancy related, but to some extent it is. When I peeped into this group (pregnancy over 35), I was expecting to have discussions like if there were any age related pregnancy complications, etc.

The last thing I expected to see was the "feeling old" threads. It just got me thinking...what makes you feel old?

Is this a society thing or merely a state of mind? I'll tell you about myself...I was 35 when I conceived and will be 36 when I deliver and never have I felt old. In fact, I conceived right after getting married (totally unplanned) and my mom in law's first reaction was "why didn't you enjoy life for a few years before getting pregnant?"

Most of my friends have conceived over 30, barring a few who got married very young. Of my entire school batch, there is only one friend who has a teenager and rest have kids from ages 2-8.

I have felt older in my mid 20s than I feel now. Which brings me back to the question, do you feel old, or do people around make you feel older?

Wish all of you happy and healthy pregnancies

 

[Ellivort]

I never physically felt old until I got some strange reactions to me being pregnant!

 

[Left wonderin]

I'm 43 .. 2 under 3 and don't feel a day over 30

 

[Lucasmum]

Its a tough one I have a physically demanding job and work 40+ hours a week so yes I do feel old and tired especially as I sometimes work 14 days before a day off but a good sleep and a shower and I'm back to myself which I feel is quite young acting and thinking, I dont look any where near my age (40) and people never believe me when I tell them but if you look close enough the signs are there

I did feel older when I became pregnant this time mainly for me because I didnt know of anyone who had become pregnant at 40, but the first appointment at the hospital I went I felt incredibly young again there were a lot of ladies 40+ I have also since come across a lot of ladies in my line of work (I work with the elderly) who have told me either they or sisters or mothers were still having children at my age and older and they were all surprised when I told them I was classed as an old mum this makes me feel better

 

[Nikko88]

I start feeling old when all the new mom friends I have are 10 years younger than me. Also when my health care professionals are younger than me.

I'm definitely feeling physically drained by this pregnancy with a toddler in tow. Some of that is just it takes longer to heal. But mostly it's just this pregnancy.

In general, I don't feel old. I certainly don't feel as old as I thought my parents were at 40.

Age is certainly a lot about how you feel and think. Although there are some physical impacts that are undeniable.

 

[Skye Leigh]

I think it's all in your state of mind, your mindset. If a 75 year old woman can be a body builder, then I can certainly get pregnant at 47! I don't feel old and never think of myself as old. I'm working a full time job and I'm 22 weeks pregnant. So no I don't allow myself to think of myself as old. Yeah I'm surprised at how many people think of themselves as old at like 30 and 35 years old. When they get older they will wish they had enjoyed that age instead of thinking of themselves as over the hill that young. Haha.

 

[Ladyheader]

Yeah. Age is just a number.

 

[Bumpontherun]

I'm 35, 36 in a couple of weeks. I've looked into the feeling old threads and what strikes me is that a lot of people say their friends all had their kids much younger. Although I was one of the first in my peer group to start my family (28) my friends are all still having babies too - many are still ttc#1.

This pregnancy I have a 7 and a 5 yr old so I know I can be a good mum, my career is the best it's ever been, I'm still healthy and my relationship with FH is stronger than ever. I do have the odd grey hair but I don't feel old I guess if I have to put a label on it I feel mature!

 

[LoveCakes]

I read there are more babies born to over 40s in Britain now than under 20s

 

[becsboo]

with 9 children yes I feel very old

 

[verily]

I often feel old because I work with a lot of millennials and the generational differences can be fairly stark sometimes. However, I don't feel so old about being a first time mom because I have many friends around my age who just had kids themselves. I also have an 8 year old step-son, so I don't look so much like an older new mom to others.

I think a lot of woman these days are waiting to be successful in their careers or at least very stable in their lives before bringing a kid into it.

 

[Natnee]

I certainly don't feel like I'm 40, I don't look it. Eek it still sounds wrong when I say 'I'm 40' it just can't be possible! I was only 30 what feels like a couple of years ago! So yes I think she is somewhat a state of mind!

 

[swampmaiden]

Advice from my Grandma: You're only as old as you feel.

Im 35, pregnant with my second and feel too old for this lol but Im really not, its just my attitude

 

[Squiggy]

Honestly, I think it's societal pressure. People are living much longer than they used to with medical technology advancing. Yet, we (anyone over 35) are still treated like it's unacceptable especially by the doctors!!! Which makes us (or at least ME) feel like there's something wrong with it. Even though it's constantly on the news that women are waiting until they're older; it's like a trend.

Personally, I think that women having "second families" when in homes with teenagers helps immensely because teens get to live the reality of babies, thus putting them off of the glamour of it.

Additionally, it's a social class thing. As a student of Sociology and whether people like it or not, or agree with it or not, there are social classes; it's not just money, it's mind frame, which is backed by money. Among higher social status you establish yourself first! Then you settle down. Being someone who has mingled between lower class and upper middle class I can personally vouch for the statistics. If I were being treated by middle class doctors pregnancy at my age would be normal.

There are many factors and, yes, I believe it's mostly societal. If we are constantly made to feel like we're wrong then we do. I am forced to "worry" about myself in specific ways even though that's not how I truly feel. Age isn't "just a number" it's a pressure inflicted by others. It's used against us always! Truth is: you're only as old as you feel!!! Which is true because my aunt always wanted to be respected like an elderly woman, her hair was completely gray by the time she was 28 years old. I'm 40 and pass for as young as 27; mostly because I don't WANT to be old. In spite of age I feel like there's a life I haven't yet lived.

 

[BunnyN]

I think you can have a young spirit at any age. Eventually no matter how young your spirit is age is going to catch up with your body. I wouldn't say I feel old as such but pregnancy has gotten harder on my body as I got older. Even with a positive attitude and healthy lifestyle you can't stop the clock.

I do joke that I feel old in a social sense sometimes. When you don't recognise the latest pop stars and think teen fashion looks stupid you know things have changed, lol.

 

[madtowngirl]

Honestly, I didn't feel old until I became a parent, LOL. I think the constant state of sleep deprivation I've been would make a 15 year old feel old.

But honestly, here's what gets my goat: women have been having babies until menopause since they've lived to menopause! Catherine Parr (Henry VIII's 6th wife) had her first child at 35/36. That was in 1548. Lucille Ball had her first in 1951, just a month before she turned 40. But in 2018, with all of our medical advancements and longer lifespans, you're "so old" to have a child after 35. Whatever.

 

[MissMarpleFan]

I would have preferred to be a young mom, but that is obviously not in the cards for me.

I don’t feel old at 40, and I also look much younger, probably because I wasn’t a young mom.

If anybody gives me crap about this, I’m going to whip out the stare of death. If they continue, I may start describing miscarriages in detail. That should end the conversation quickly!

 

[Rags]

I think age is a state of mind. I began working at 17 along side a very diverse group of people ranging from my own age right through to their 60s, they never made me feel young and unappreciated and I never felt they were old and beyond the work we were doing. We all socialised together and discussed a very wide variety of subjects. Fast forward 30 years and here I am approaching 50 working with a hugely mixed group of people with a 50 year age span and I don't think of any of them being too young to have valid opinions and I don't think of myself as being so experienced as not to take on board their ideas...
I had a fantastic pregnancy at 41 and found myself offering support and encouragement to 2 pregnant friends - one 28 the other 30, both were having difficult times, exhausted and really not coping, I was working 50 hours over 6 days enjoying a busy social life and decorating a new home for myself and my baby (as a solo parent - they both had partners).
So here I am about to turn 50 - I am tired, is this to do with my age??? I'm a solo parent, I work as a manger in a busy constantly changing environment, I'm looking after a sick friends daughters while she's in hospital as well as my own son and my disabled sister. I think this means I'm doing about 4 times more with my time than I was when I was when I was 20/30/40, so I think it's safe to say my tiredness is less age related and far more life/circumstances related. ALL THIS SAID AND TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT I STILL DON'T FEEL ANY OLDER THAN I DID AT 25!!!