Do you think it's right that an abusive man can see his child?

[BunnyFace]

Im going through the process of trying to stop him getting contact. I have been contacted by the domestic abuse team who said after hearing me explain my relationship with him that did i know what he did is classed as rape.
He is now asking for detail about my LO and my solicitor says the next step will be him asking for contact. Social services are involved as he also threatened to kill my LO if she was to be a girl at the start of my pregnancy and then tried to bully me into not continuing with the pregnancy, i told him i was keeping the baby, no question about it and so he left me.Thank god. I've been told that if i press charges with the rape it still might not stop him getting contact. How the hell is this right?

 

[maybebaby3]

how awful i dont really have any advice but i'd not want him 2 have contact either if i were you.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I also don't really have any useful advise, but surely if he is charged with raping you and abusing you any contact that is allowed with surely have to be supervised. wishing you all the best x

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

It may be supervised hunni. I wouldn't want him near my child either but the way teh courts look at it is he didn't put your child into any danger. But it may still have to be supervised
xx

 

[babydevil1989]

Surely if he threatened to kill the baby if sge was a girl he wouldn't be able to have contact? Hopefully it all works out i wouldn't want him near me or my baby x

 

[jen1604]

Honestly,I would still let him see the child.

Him being a horrible boyfriend/partner does not necessarily mean he's going to be a horrible dad.And I assume social services will make sure the visits are supervised anyway.

xxx

 

[Sam9kids]

Honestly,I would still let him see the child.

Him being a horrible boyfriend/partner does not necessarily mean he's going to be a horrible dad.And I assume social services will make sure the visits are supervised anyway.

xxx

I have to agree with this.

He may actually be a very good Dad and unless hes deemed a danger to the child, he will get some sort of access albeit supervised.

Good luck xxx

 

[MUMOF5]

I wouldnt let him anywhere near my child and completely understand your concerns. Best of luck to you with whatever you decide, he sounds like a nutcase, surely any judge in their right mind wouldnt allow this man access ??!!

 

[Seraphim]

Honestly,I would still let him see the child.

Him being a horrible boyfriend/partner does not necessarily mean he's going to be a horrible dad.And I assume social services will make sure the visits are supervised anyway.

xxx

I have to agree with this.

He may actually be a very good Dad and unless hes deemed a danger to the child, he will get some sort of access albeit supervised.

Good luck xxx

Yup I agree.

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

Honestly,I would still let him see the child.

Him being a horrible boyfriend/partner does not necessarily mean he's going to be a horrible dad.And I assume social services will make sure the visits are supervised anyway.

xxx

I have to agree with this.

He may actually be a very good Dad and unless hes deemed a danger to the child, he will get some sort of access albeit supervised.

Good luck xxx

i completely disagree. If my OH threatened to kill my child he would have to kill me before I gave him access.

I would take this to court for as long as it took to keep him from being anywhere near my son.

From the sounds of it youve been through an horrific ordeal

stand your ground, you know him best. if you dont think youre child would be safe with this man, even supervised visits can be risky (in some cases), then you do what you feel is right and dont let anyone tell you otherwise

 

[Hollys_Twinny]

Honestly,I would still let him see the child.

Him being a horrible boyfriend/partner does not necessarily mean he's going to be a horrible dad.And I assume social services will make sure the visits are supervised anyway.

xxx

I have to agree with this.

He may actually be a very good Dad and unless hes deemed a danger to the child, he will get some sort of access albeit supervised.

Good luck xxx

Yup I agree.

I DISAGREE!!!! This man sounds like a pig!! Yes he MAY turn out to be the worlds best dad, but given his past.. I would start off with supervised accses at the very least! This is a child that he threatened to kill. I wouldnt be comfortable leaving my baby with him on the off chance thar he isnt a monster!

 

[ethan amelia]

i wouldnt let him anywhere near my little one. Given his behaviour towards you and threatening to kill the baby, it doesnt sound like hes going to be any kind of role model for your child or stands any chance of being a good father.

supervised access at the very least but even that would be a push for me.

Good luck xx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

A leopard doesn't change it's spots.

Good luck, hon xxx

 

[BunnyFace]

I understand that just because he was like that to me doesnt mean hes going to be a rubbish dad. Its the threatening to kill my baby that scares me. He hit me in the side of my tummy "accidentally" when i was pregnant and quite frankly, scares the hell out of me. Im scared he will hurt my LO. If it goes to court and he gets access im scared he will take it all out on her. I dont know what the hell to do

 

[Hollys_Twinny]

What has he had to say for himself? Is he sorry for all the thing he said and done? Whats changed his mind about wanting a daughter?

 

[BunnyFace]

He didnt bother speaking to me after we split when i got pregnant. Then when i was about 37 weeks he came round to cause trouble and the police had to be called. He said just before we split that he thought everything he had done/said was acceptable and he wasnt sorry and didnt feel bad at all. Throughout my pregnancy he got various friends to threaten me and my family etc etc. When i got pregnant and he tried forcing me to end the pregnancy, as soon as i said no he was even worse. He was controlling so wasnt used to me sticking up for myself. My daughter gave me the strength to stand up to him for the first time. It made him far more abusive but i had my LO to think about and protect. He is just wanting to cause trouble.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

If he has been violent to you then more often than not the acess with be supervised in a contact centre
xx

 

[xolily]

he will only get supervised contact.

 

[Lu28]

I agree with some of the others that generally speaking an abusive partner doesn't automatically mean a bad father and that tends to be the way the court looks at it too. Contact would be supervised though, generally at a contact centre so your daughter wouldn't come to any harm.

 

[cath]

Big to you. I really hope he doesnt get access to your LO, he sounds awful. Are you pressing charges against him? If so & he is convicted of rape, he may go to prison & solve the problem for you, at least for a few years.