Does anyone else just feel completely overwhelmed?

[Mrs Eleflump]

I don't know what's wrong with me...I just feel like a complete mess today.

I'm on a week's holiday from work, and I always find the time fills up with all the crap I never have time to do normally, so there's never any time to actually relax. So many things I wanted to do today and I've not even finished one thing.

I feel like one second I'm fine and then it takes the tiniest little thing to send my mood crashing down and I'm all emotional and teary and fed up of everything. I just want to hide and let someone else make all the decisions.

Maybe it's because I'm researching all the baby stuff we need to get and the list is so huge, even though we've limited it to what we actually need rather than the full-on one-of-everything lists that are around. I'm exhausted trying to make sure everything we get is the right thing, when I don't know how we're going to be with the baby or what we're really going to want to do. If I can't manage this bit, how am I actually going to cope as a Mum?

My head hurts and I'm not sleeping well because I'm never comfortable and everything hurts, and I feel really fat and horrible. I thought 2nd tri was supposed to be nice?

I don't know what to do to make myself feel better

 

[cookette]

You're not alone, sweetness. I too feel very overwhelmed. It helped for me to break it down to handling one thing a week in order of necessity. I ordered her car seat one week, and picked up a crib the next that was on a great offer. Other than the big things, Im waiting until after the baby shower in Sept.

In addition, I work full time and am trying to sell my house while getting moved into our new one and on waiting lists for daycare that arent sure if they'll be available to take Mesa in January or not! So much. Try to break it down, a little at a time.

And in this heat, who DOESNT feel like a big cow? It'll be worth it in the end.

 

[Nikko88]

I get overwhelmed too sometimes with all that needs to be done. It helps to break it down into smaller tasks to accomplish. I'm also trying not to worry about getting stuff until the opportunity for a shower arises.

So one step at a time. There's still time to get ready.

 

[KrissyKris22]

I get overwhelmed as well with everything that needs to be done. I have so much to do between now and when the baby is due. I jus try and take things one day at a time lol

 

[bumpbear]

Dont stress yourself out!

Honestly, having been there once before, there is not a whole lot that you'll need. A newborn needs a carseat, a few baby grows, somewhere to sleep, a couple of swaddle sleep sacks and blankets, diapers, wipes, diaper cream and a towel. And maybe a carrier or stroller for your ease. Thats about it. All the other stuff I bought was just luxuries.

I went mental last time researching everything and making sure the nursery was set up etc: she didn't even sleep in her own room until she was almost a year old and half her clothes went unworn etc. You'll also figure out what is suitable for your child once they are here and you know their personality/ what makes them comfortable. We went through a few brands of wipes, diapers, bouncers and swings etc til we found ones that she liked. Internet research doesn't know your baby like you will. Just wait and see.

It'll all fall in to place- enjoy being pregnant!

 

[RcdM]

I completely agree with the above! I way overdid it with my first thinking I NEEDED everything under the sun. And then 70% of the stuff I bought sat there for months! All you really need is a car seat, some onesies, and some blankets, and then of course diapers and wipes. And I suppose bottles too depending on how you plan to feed, but it's always good to have them just in case. All the other stuff you can accumulate over time when you decide you need it. And you're going to end up buying a bunch of stuff you don't like. Even if you're heard good reviews on it. You'll switch diaper brands, bottle brands, diaper creams, it's all learn as you go. We bought all tommee tippee stuff and my dd had really bad reflux and finally switched to Dr. Browns. We also bought a ton of older size clothes, like 3-6 + months and my dd was a preemie and we had to go out and buy her all new clothes because nothing fit. You can't anticipate everything, and you shouldn't try to.

Now I'm pregnant with #2 and it's a boy so we can't reuse everything from my dd, and we haven't purchased a single thing yet. Not even a single outfit. I just don't see the urgency. My dd came very early so there's always that concern, but if that happened again we'd still be fine and we'd run to the store for different things as we needed them. I plan on waiting until after my babyshower to really buy any other needed items. But until then... it's honestly not that big of a deal. So don't overwhelm yourself!! You'll be fine!

 

[calm]

I'm with you. I feel so huge and uncomfortable that I panic about how on earth am I going to be in months to come! Buying baby stuff is also not all "fun", and overwhelms me (have been researching the right twin pram for 2 months now). Nothing is easy and clear cut, so many opinions and options. To be honest just sitting here and writing this I could have a good cry (not been having a good couple of days). I feel okay a lot of the time, but then other days I just feel such a mess, and so lazy and tired! So no, you are not alone!

 

[mandaa1220]

Im with all of you.

 

[Zeri]

You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I just took 3 wks vacation from work as I felt there was too much going on and that time was moving by too fast for me to really process everything and start planning. I haven't done anything yet at all. just sat down and wrote a long list of things I need to do, and plan to attack one thing each day, in addition to resting. Would be great if u had more time off as it sounds like u're feeling quite pressured. Maybe make a short list of what u can accomplish this wk and a shorter list for upcoming weekends/weekdays. Maybe u're trying to pack too much into this one week? The Mommy thing is scary (wondering how u'll cope) but that will fall into place once u start doing it. It'll be a matter of trial and error and learning but with time u'll get into the swing of it.

 

[Mrs Eleflump]

I'm glad it's not just me (though I'm sad that others feel this way too as it's horrible). Thank you for showing me I'm not a nutcase! I think trying to put it into perspective, and making sure I only set myself realistic targets, are really good ideas. Here follows a bit of a brain dump, apologies for the length...!

Hubby gave me a 'good talking to' last night - not having a go or anything but I was really beating myself up about not having done this, that, and the other, and he was telling me I shouldn't be feeling guilty about any of it as I'm supposed to be on holiday.

This week I need to complete a job application for a more senior post where I already work - I'm not at risk of losing my own job or anything, but this job would be a perfect step up from where I am, and I've been encouraged to go for it. I'm finding writing the personal statement pretty difficult and I have to admit the thought of being interviewed for a senior post by my current boss terrifies me, as I'm worried I'll mess it up and she'll lose faith in me, but hopefully I will at least finish the application today and get it submitted, and then I have the rest of the week to try not to think about it at all!

I also need to do some painting in the house, and I want to see if I can start the stencilling in baby's room.

I also want to make sure I have some time just to chill out and do stuff that I never get the chance to do, like writing, because I always mean to do that while on leave and always end up running about doing all the other stuff.

We have a list as long as my arm on the kitchen wall with home improvement stuff to do before the baby comes, which is also stressing me out, but it's stuff that does need doing, like painting the back wall of the house where we had repointing done. Obviously I will not be doing the actual painting, but it will be me who needs to go and buy the paint, as hubby can't drive. We have some enormous jobs on there (the internal painting, for one), some fiddly things like re-felting the shed roof and fitting new internal doors (our bedroom door is in a really bad state from when the previous occupant had a temper tantrum with a Phillips screwdriver), and some little things like we need a new loo seat. The aim is to get all that done before my parents come down to visit the baby, so the house is in a nice state, as they haven't seen it before. I know the world won't end if the cosmetic stuff isn't done, but I will feel so much better and less stressed at the thought of them being here if the house is looking nice, even if it isn't the tidiest house in the world.

The things I didn't do yesterday that I was freaking out about were: painting, cleaning the wooden blind from the kitchen window before hubby puts it back up, tidying up the kitchen, bringing the wheelie bin in. So just stupid stuff that didn't have to be done yesterday, but for some reason I think I've got to be Superwoman and remember to do everything.

I'll have 4 weeks of annual leave all at once before my due date, so I'll be finishing work at about 36 weeks. I'm hoping I'll have a good bit of time to relax then, too, amongst getting all baby's things ready.

The thought of only having 8 weeks left of work is a good one, though my job is pretty demanding and I need to get a lot done for the training I'm in the middle of before I go, so that I'm not confronted with a complete nightmare when I go back!

We have the car seat and pram ordered, hopefully to arrive this week, and the only other big things are the car seat base, cot, and co-sleeping crib. Then it's just stuff like a changing bag, bouncy chair, and all the consumables like nappies and cotton wool that I can pick up bit by bit with the weekly shop. That doesn't seem so bad, I suppose.

I think I do try to take on too much, and if something needs doing I always think it must be done right now, so I do frazzle myself out a bit. I need to learn to take it a bit easier!

 

[dlj2]

Yep this pregnancy has been very different from my last! I've felt very anxious and overwhelmed from the start-it's the pesky hormones as rationally there isn't really anything for me to worry about.xxx

 

[calm]

I think I do try to take on too much, and if something needs doing I always think it must be done right now, so I do frazzle myself out a bit. I need to learn to take it a bit easier!

I completely agree with this hun, I think you are far too hard on yourself and expect so much of yourself that I'm not surprised you get stressed. If I was you I would just aim to do 1 thing from your list and feel happy at that, you really deserve to take it easy