Does FOB still manage to "control" you somehow?

[AppleBlossom]

As the title says really. For those who's FOB sees their LO. Even though you have split up and moved on and you are the one that calls the shots so to speak, when it comes to your LO, being it's mother and primary carer? I was controlled by FOB not so much physically as mentally. It was a huge relief when we split up. I've moved on, live in nice house, have a new OH. Ex sees Grace on a saturday. But he still manages to control some aspect of my life. Basically he is so deviant and a pain in the arse that none of my family want to have to deal with him. Which is fair enough. Example, halloween weekend I went away from Friday night till sunday morning so my auntie looked after Grace so had to see him on saturday. He is meant to bring Grace back at 6.30 but he told my auntie that I had said it was ok to bring her back at 7.30 instead, before he had even rang me to ask so obviously she was put in an awkward position. My new OH lives in London at the minute and he is always the one to come up and see me so I thought I would go and see him instead before christmas. But I can't go at the weekend because nobody will have Jason at their door because if I'm not there he takes advantage and puts people on the spot. It is very very rare that I go out for even a night out. I just feel like I thought I had got away from his controlling but he knows full well that he can do what he wants if I'm not here so therefore I will always have to be here and so I can't ever go out.
Does anyone else have a problem like this? How did you work around it?

 

[sweetlullaby]

Thats really unfair and he should not do this to your family or you!I would have a serious word with him!

If its gonna be a one off you going down to London to see your OH...I would ask a family member to mind your daughter and tell FOB well in advance that he cannot have your daughter that day as its a special occassion and you's wont be at home. And tell family member thats minding your daughter that FOB wont be having her that day and for their sakes he's under the assumption she's with you type thing.

You dont have to give him the full details or even where your going. Dont tell him that your aunt/mum etc has your daughter and go down to London to see your OH. Or is he the type or person where he would go around all of your families houses to see if his daughter is there and cause an argument?

Not sure as have never been in this situation but im sure him not having her one saturday wouldnt hurt as you said you dont go out often etc. And if he isnt happy with that tell him he can have her the next saturday and possibly few extra hours on the sunday because he missed a day type thing.

Hope it all works out for you though!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

If he keeps taking the piss and you want to go down to see Jon then your mum or whoever could have Grace but bring her here just for him to pick her up and I'll deal with Jason if you want? xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Thanks yeah, he would be the kind of person to check up on who had Grace unfortunately. I'm going to go and see my OH sunday to monday now which is fine but it means I will end up seeing him for less time but just one of those things I suppose.

And thanks Katy but I wouldn't want to have to put you through that! lol

 

[purpledahlia]

What about not telling him your going on a trip and having your family member be at your house when shes due to come home.. that way he will be expecting you.. and someone could just say your in the bath or have nipped to a friends for an hour or something, then he doesnt know that he could take advantage if that makes sense?