Does it annoy anyone else?

[Laura_44]

Hi everyone,

I just wondered whether anyone else gets really annoyed by the judgement a teenage mother receives. I'm 23 and I have a 4 year old (may be slightly too old to post in this section) thing is I look about 18 aswell but i'm sick to death of people thinking they can judge me because i'm a young mother. My son recently started school and I swear the older mothers treat me like a leper, they just see the young face and make their assumptions from that. They dont even know anything about me but I can feel them staring at me. It's like they feel that a young mum doesn't love their child or isnt as good of a mum as they are and the truth is most of us young mums are as good, some maybe not so good but the same can be said for older parents there are good ones and there are bad ones. To be honest I probably should just take the moral high ground and ignore these people, but it does really irritate me. How do other people cope with the prejudice young mums come up against?

May I also state that i'm not saying all older parents are like this

 

[oOKayOo]

I too get this a hell of alot , im 21 years old.
Some say i look younger and i do get looked down on as i have a 3 year old and a 6 month old it does draw stares all the time.
TBH i just walk past with my head up high and look at whoever looked at me in disgust.
At the end of the day when i get home i do think and it does hurt me when its always done but i just have to carry on. After all its got bugger all to do with them and how dare they judge me!

I think they are thinking im a typical young mum thats on the dole taking there money when in fact we probably earn more then they would get.
I dont think young mums can win or older mums.

 

[sparkswillfly]

People just love a reason to judge others. It makes them feel better about themselves.

 

[TashaAndBump]

I can't say I get this very often...

I have had one or two people who think it's okay to make comments about the way I handle my baby, or tell me to be careful or "watch her head" or even "don't drop her!"... but they are not very common and that is why I was shocked by these people. I've come to accept that old women (not other mothers - old, old women) do make comments, but I think they make them to everyone - they think they know everything! hahaha I have had a few old women tell me to wrap my baby or she will catch a cold, when she has been wrapped up, wearing a big coat AND in my closebabycarrier sling I just ignore these few individuals.

But on a whole, I go to mum and baby clubs, breastfeeding clubs and I get out almost every day - On a whole the only people who look are those hoping to get a peek of my cute baby! haha MrBum gets a lot of stares because he looks cute with a baby strapped to his front in his wheelchair, and I do get a lot of people staring at Anna - but it would never have crossed my mind that they might be staring because I am a young mother...

But then I do think I look a bit older than I am, which helps and teenage pregnancy is actually common in the area that I live in so maybe that is why.

It does annoy me when the odd individual will make a comment, which is obviously judgemental and aimed at the point of saying that I am a bad mother (which I have had) or implying I don't know what I'm doing... But then, you need to have the confidence that you ARE a good mother and what other people think doesn't matter.

Is your child or baby happy? Does your baby have everything he/she needs? Do you love and enjoy your baby and do you do all that you can do for them? If the answer to these questions is yes then, indubitably, you are the best mother you could be - And no one has the right to question that.

Have faith, and hold your head high. To your child, you will ALWAYS be the best mother in the world. x

 

[Jennavee]

People just love a reason to judge others. It makes them feel better about themselves.

HA HA THIS IS SOOOOO TRUE. I just dont worry about it and live my life... Its my choice not theres but yeah it does make me feel a lil down sometimes!!!

 

[LilMama2be]

I'm not a mom yet..
but my mom and dad give me crap almost everyday. saying things like "you think you're capable of raising a child?" I know girls younger than me that have done it. So I don't see why They dont think i can..

 

[mz_jackie86]

I havent really experienced it to much jus when fam found out i got the lecture bout being young! And im 22!
But the way i see it is i have done alot already travelled and experienced life so if anyone wants to judge me let them cos i will laugh in their face and if they want to stare ill carry round pictures, and they can have them cos they last longer!
People judge because it takes the looking glass off their sad pathetic lives!
Sod em all i say lol! xx

 

[nikky0907]

Well,I haven't experienced it much.
It's a friendly place I live in....

However I do agree with sparkswillfly.
Pople tend to judge others so they'd feel good abouth themselves.

In the end of the day,you have your beautiful son and you know you're a good mother to him.

 

[princess_x0]

I'm not pregnant myself, but when I take my baby cousin out with my auntie and if I'm pushing the pram I get 'the stare'
And loads of my friends are mums or are pregnant and they all seem to get the stare too. I just tend to ask them what they are staring at which makes them embarrassed and they soon fuck off lol.

 

[Jemma_x]

My best friend has a baby and whenever she goes out people say things to her and stare at her its horrible, they have no right. I live in a different area to her and when people have found out im pregnant they have all been so supportive which im really grateful for.

 

[samandtania]

Yeah i get this alot, I'm 18, i turn 19 in December and i have an 8 month old baby, I'm currently pregnant again due 27th march, i get funny looks from ALOT of people. It shouldn't make a different wheither the parent is 18 or 48!!!

 

[Janisdkh]

Hun I am 28 and look 19. I get treated like I am my kids babysitter or worse. Like am a ho who slept around. I get snickered from older people. I hate to explain myself. Now I just go abouts my business and ignore. I started to have my 1st baby at 19. We lost one and ended up having our 1st when I turned 21.

 

[amelia222]

I'm not looking forward to that at all, I'm 22 but people always think I'm still in high school. The funniest thing was getting dirty looks when I was 15 and going out shopping with my aunt and her twin babies. I guess they thought the babies were mine because I was pushing the stroller!

 

[lammy456]

Im 20 with twins who are 2 soon, i get the look. Dont mean to be judgemental myself but cant help it.This is how i see it....always always its the mums who stay at home all day, whos husbands are at work getting a mahoosive wage and go on lots of business trips no doubt having an affair! Whilst thier wives drive range rovers. These women group up outside school having slagging matches amongst themselves! When the person whom they've been talking about turns up they smile and act all chummy. They really tick me off, because theyre the ones who are actually prob the worst of the bunch! They dont have a career and they live off thier husbnds pocket money, because he is too frightened to divorce them as she will no doubt take him for every penny he has. Yet they feel the need to say us ''young mums'' who they ''think'' is unemployed, even worse if you ''look single'' are bad parents!! how can you judge by an age group? Do you know what i think it is, its because the media always push on about teenage pregnancy and you see teens smoking drugs and drinking eccesive amounts, they never televise a 30 year old parent doing something like getting drunk and leaving her kids with her mum for the night! But no thats not ok for a teen mother to do because ''you shouldnt have had children so early, you should have lived your life but no you decided you wanted a baby!'' the amount of times people say that to me, its like god aint women under 25 allowed a break? Since when was it right that a mum over 25 had a rest and de stressed but a woman under that age cant?. rant is over.....sorry girls

 

[kate.m.]

Hiya!
Im not a mum (yet!) and im not a teen either, but... i always look at teen mums! But it doesnt stop there, i look at older mums, middle mums, chilled mums and stressed mums!

But its because im jealous!!! Everytime i see a baby & mum i have to look! But then i get scared that people will think im looking because im judging, im honestly not, im just very curious and jealous!!! lol! (I hope this doesnt make me a bad person- just a broody one?!) x

 

[Jkelmum]

I had Jake at 14 and still now 13 yrs later I get comments like *he,s yours ?* You dont look old enough ? You started young also I get how did u do such a good job ! Now that last one makes me mad why the F Shudnt I do a great job ?

 

[bootyb]

Pepole are like that whereever i seem to go.... wen they find out im pregnant they say im too young for motherhood nd all... my cousin had her baby at 17.... she aint the best mother in the world but she loves her little girl.... besides whu is?.... my friend is 22 nd she has a one yr old daughter nd she gets the looks... also on the two occasions i have been to see my midwife u have had people starin at me.... the other day i got ont he bus nd has my 1 yr old niece wit me whu was asleep in her pram... this old women whu is very mobile was sat on a sit by the wheelchair buggy bit nd i kindly asked her to move to a sit across nd she turned back nd sed it was a disabled persons space so i had to wake my niece up nd fold up the pram... a few stops along she got off the bus walkin without any aid nd a couple of bags.... it got my blood boilin.... all day... arrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

 

[icculcaz]

know how u all feel..... im 29, look 24 and have a 10 year old..... makes me laugh.... got stopped for id im morrisons a few weeks ago as i was buying alcohol free wine... (you have to look 25+ to get served in there) and i dont carry id (?why should i? im well past 18!!!!) i just told the woman that the kids i had with me were mine.. she looked at me, looked at them n said well that doesnt mean anything nowadays love... no id, no wine!!!!

 

[Kris0309]

I just turned 20 and Im about 5 months pregnant and starting to show yesterday I was at babys r us looking at stuff and some lady kept starring at me. I wanna be like yes Im pregnant which is why Im here. People never seem to surprise me anymore. I have been getting stares and probably will get stares for ever. But there just jealous cause I have a little blue bump and they dont.