Does it get easier?

[MeToo]

Hey guys

I lurk on this board all the time but dont often have the guts to post. Today marks 14 months of ttc (not long compred to some on here I know) but it just seems to get harder and harder each month the witch arrives. I feel like a failure and I just want a baby so much

I feel sorry for my oh, i feel sorry for myself and i feel sorry for anyone else out there who is struggling to conceive. I feel like it should be easy, thats what i was put here to do but motn after month i am reminded that maybe having a baby is not for me. So dies it get any easier? Or does it just go downhill from here?

Am waiting for a gynae appointment and for a sa appointment for my oh - apart from that I am using ov sticks and havent gone down the ff or temping route yet as i get obsessed enough already. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Kiki09]

Hi MeToo, did not want to just read and run, it is hard, I have my good days and then other days I wake up and feel really down and doubt that I will ever get to hold my baby in my arms ..... this forum is great, the people on here are so supportive and you will find lots of us to chat to and vent to!

 

[BigFoot1980]

Like Kiki09 said there are good days and bad days. Some days I just don't want to see anyone and then there are days when I am full of hope. Also everyone handles it differently. One thing is for sure its always good to vent rather then just bottling up your feelings, and this is a great place for venting.

I hope you don't have to wait too long for your BFP .

 

[peekaboo]

Hi, we've been TTC a couple of months longer than you and I feel exactly the same. I have days when I feel quite positive (usually as AF is finishing as I know we're in with a chance again that month), but these days are minimal, and most days I feel sorry for myself and want to cry. I'm having one of those days today. I just can't seem to get TTC out of my head. If we have no luck this month I'm going to try my hardest to have a 'month off' next cycle, as we're going away for a couple of weeks and I think I need to give myself a break away from all the TTC business (reading up on things, talking about it on here etc).

At least you are starting tests, so things are moving in the right direction. You'll get there in the end, and every month of heartache is a month closer to the day you'll get your baby. (That's what I tell myself anyway).

FX for you. xx

 

[Mrs R]

Hi MeToo,

I've been ttc for 2 years now and I can honestly say it doesn't get any easier. I have good weeks, and I have weeks where I am obsessed!

But I have to admit that as time has gone on, I have accepted that I have problems and it is going to take a long time to reach my goal. I'm still working towards it, and I find the months I have something new to concentrate on, such as new medication or an appointment, or a new diet attempt, that these things distract me a little.

But I still get the days when I can't wait to test and am gutted when I get a BFN.

I suppose what Im trying to say to distract yourself, with a new pet, your career, the gym etc. I find it helps
x

 

[fingersx]

Hi

Im afraid it dosent like the others said you get good and bad days, as the time goes on i keep telling myself 2 be positive. I have unexplained infertility and currently on 100mg of clomid so i just keep telling myself there are lots of different options...

Good luck hun, hopefully we will all get our much deserved BFPs soon. xx

 

[Millnsy]

Hi MeToo

Sorry you are feeling like this and I am glad you decided to post and get it off your chest. We've been trying for over 2 and half years and I can say that in a way it does get easier. You go through stages of jealousy, anger, sadness, more anger, more sadness but after that there is resignation and a little bit of hope. Hold on to the home, resign yourself to the journey and focus on things that do make you happy. Impromptu nights out, weekend breaks, mid week pub trips, all day drinking at the weekend and all the other things that you DEFINITELY won't be able to do when you finally get your baby. You have to believe that you will get there...

Good luck in your journey.

Millnsy x

 

[honeycat]

I had a breakdown at the one year mark. We already had testing done and one ivf cycle that resulted in a m/c so I think that made it even harder to deal with. I was grieving our baby and the one year anniversity of ttc and knowing we had to keep doing ivf until we have a baby.
The only thing that has gotten easier though is I don't expect a bfp anymore unless we put in 2 good embryos into my uterus.

 

[chefamy1122]

Just want to echo what the other girls have said. I seem to have good days and bad days. Some days I get really hopeful and truly feel that one day I will get that , other days I hate myself, hate the world, and especially hate the fact that there are so many woman out there that should not even be allowed to have children (drug addicts, etc) that seem to be able to get pregnant with no problems.

Its a rough, rough road.

 

[MrsR32]

I agree with the other girls, good days and bad days. My advice is not to put your life on hold - you can still book holidays, look forward to events that you know you'll enjoy - you don't have to stop TTC, just enjoy other aspects of your life too.

I tell myself that it will happen one day, I just don't know when. Until that time, I will enjoy the fact that every month I work, I get to spend the extra wages on nice things for our house or for us. And I will look forward to the day I get my BFP. Can you tell I'm having a "good day"? Lucky you didn't ask this on a bad day!!

Good luck with your gynae appt, at least you're on your way now, another step closer xx

 

[MeToo]

Thank you so much for your replies guys. I feel much better for coming on here to vent and I just want to say I really appreciate you all taking the time out to support me.

I do try and take the mental pressure off ttc by going to the gym (im actually there ALL the blooming time!) and i try and keep myself busy but it's moments like now where i dont really have anything to do that my mind wanders and inevitably it goes to ttc.

I have an appointment next week to get my oh's sa pot so at least the ball is rolling and I reel we are getting somwhere at least. I am hopeful that one day i WILL get my baby I guess some of us just have to wait a little or a llot longer than others.

BAby dust to all and now i have had the guts to post i think you will hear more of me! xxxxx

 

[Puddleduck]

I am finding as the months go by it is getting harder and harder. I had a mmc in June and feel like that was my chance and now it's gone. I know I should be grateful that at least I have got that elusive BFP that took over 2 1/2 years but sadly it didn't last.

It's soooo hard some days especially as every other woman you pass in the street is pregnant, adverts on the tv etc etc remind you what you haven't got but desperately want.

Sorry depression over. I do have good days on the lead up to testing but that's about it. There isnt a minute gone by that I dont think about being pg.

Got to keep busy like the girls here have said. You cant put your life on hold. Got to keep looking forward.

x

 

[MillieMoo]

For me its mostly the same as everyone else but i get good and bad points of my cycle. Usually when AF comes i get very low, then i realise that its the start of a new cycle so i get hopefull of whats to come, then around ovulation i'm really optimistic, then i realise that i'm not really sure if i'm ovulating and the OPK's start playing with my head then i start stressing that i've missed it or i'm not going to ovulate this month. I then get very depressed that my cycles aren't getting any shorter. Then i get hopeful for about a week then it all goes down hill again!

I'm having a bad day today, can you tell? Lol!

 

[JASMAK]

I agree with others who say that there are good days and bad days. Obviously, aroung AF time is a tense time and that is usually my lowest point. Some months are harder than others for me. I have lost babies...and so the memory of those lost combined with the months ticking by can really compound some months. I guess things become easier but not that I get used to it, but I guess I learn to block my feelings off a bit (not always). I guess everyone is different and everyone has their own way of coping and their own personal struggles that varies so much from each other.

 

[Farie]

For me it comes and goes, some months I cope really well, other months not so much.

For me it got really bad around 6 months, again at 12 months (I think thats the part psychological .. reaching the 'year' milestone) and again at around the 2 year mark .. right now I'm still struggling a bit.

 

[Blue12]

It does get harder as it gets longer. I also found it harder as my younger brothers girlfriend is expecting. The whole family is filled with excitement for them and although i am happy for them and odn't wish anyone the ltttc journey.......it is like a constant reminder of what i don't have and might not ever have.........

 

[genkigemini]

Hi Hun. I hope you do not mind me replying to your thread even though I do not live here anymore.

DH and I were TTC for 10 years to the month when I got my and I can honestly say that it goes in waves. Sometimes you will feel good about things and sort of go with the flow and other times it feels like a soul crushing event when AF comes. I will be honest and say that it does not really get easier but the attitude you bring into your LTTTC journey really will have an effect on your general outlook on thing.

One thing I can say for certain as I know this far too well. The more obsessed you get in the process, the more upsetting it becomes. (Please understand that this is not me telling you to relax. Just a word of warning that the more time, effort and emotion that you thrown into the pot, the more potential there is for heartache.)

I wish you and you OH all the best on your journey and if you ever have any questions about fertility treatments, etc then just drop me a PM.

 

[genkigemini]

Stupid double post!!!!

 

[Jem88]

Weve been trying for 14 months aswell, after a mc which wasnt planned but ever since then we've both really wanted a baby. my other halfs recently had a test an im havin mine in on monday which im sure i ovulate so im not too worried. from his results weve been told that it will happen but it will take time we havent used opks, but have used pre-seed which did do anythin. i have okay & bad days, more so more bad than good but you cant really let it get to you that much altho i kno its hard when u want somthing that much.

 

[NeyNey]

It doesn't get easier. I wish I could tell you otherwise, what does happen is you learn to cope better...