Don`t know how to feel or what to expect..

[Nikki_K]

Hi ladies,

Me and DH have been TTC for 2yrs 2months now and still no success.
I was finally referred for tests 3 weeks ago. i had blood tests which were all ok and an ultrasound scan. I`m still awaiting the results of the test - which ill get on monday.
The suspense is getting too much for me. Monday seems like forever away!!
I cant sleep worrying about it. I have soo much going through my head
- what if i cant ever concieve
- what if its PCOS
- what if there is nothing wrong and i just have to keep on with the struggle of TTC forever and never getting anywhere.

I dont know how much more i can take. i just need some emotional support.

Thank you all soo much for taking the time to read.
GL and babydust to you all
xx

 

[phoenixrose]

So sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. I feel your pain as I've been trying for the same time as you, and this whole LTTTC really sucks &@$!! We just have to try to stay as strong as possible and get support wherever we can.

 

[trying hard]

I too have been TTC for just over 2 years and feel where you are coming from, It's pretty tough some times... At least you have got the ball rolling and you have done what you can for now... These days they can treat just about anything so try not to worry too much hun.

What I do when I'm feeling down (usually when AF shows her ugly head)is allow myself a set amount of time say an hour to get shitty, cry and be miserable then i try to just push it to the side until next time. It seems to help me at least.

Good luck hun

 

[parisa]

I feel so sad for u. I think that the best answer that u can get from ur doctor is that there is nothing wrong with u and that u just need to keep on trying.
This wont make much sense but it is true: it will happen when u least expect it.
Stop obsessing over it, forget it for a while. Relax darling!
My sister in law tried to conceive and she was in the same boat as u. Finally she gave up after 7 years of actively trying. Then, I remember she was not feeling well one time and she wanted me to go with her to the doctor. When the doc came, she said is there a chance of u being preggers? and my sis in law said; no, I cannot get pregnant.
The doc said; well, guess what? u tested positive for pregnancy!
Now she has a beautiful one year old boy. SEE? dON'T GIVE UP!
I miscarried after 5 months of pregnancy.....then could not get pregnant for a whole year. We were having sex three times a week for me to get pregnant. Finally after 11 months of trying, we both kinda got tiered of it. So we kinda gave our sex life a break.
I remember we were doing it about once every two weeks, and no ovulating kits or anything were used. Then my period was late, so my doct tells me that I am pregnant.
Pls listen to me, stop obsessing over it. Stress plays a horrible roll in not letting u get pregnant my dear. Right now I am 13 weeks pregnant and I know that it will happend for u.
Kisses,
Parisa

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

I have nothing useful to say but wanted to give you an internet *hug*.

When I get panicky and worried like how you're describing I try to remind myself that time passes, no matter what I do. Monday will arrive - eventually. But Monday is also the future. And that by worrying today and wanting Monday to come, I'll be wasting days I'll never get back, feeling upset, worried, etc.

I don't always listen to myself and it's hard to remember these things most of the time but I'm trying to make an effort to enjoy every day I'm alive. We'll never get these days back, and to think back and realise that you've wasted so much time feeling unhappy, will only make you feel worse.

*big hug*

 

[Sexki11en]

Big hug from me too honey You're on the road to knowing what could be wrong and if you know then maybe you can fix it.

I also wanted to say ignore anyone who says 'just relax' It amazes me that people on a LTTC board can be a) so insensitive and b) so misinformed.

Keep talking - we all know how it feels.

SK x

 

[Damita]

big try not to worry women with PCOS still get preggers, it was a shock when I found out I have PCOS

 

[parisa]

Dear sexki11en:
I am definitely not ignorant. The ognorance must come from someone who is sooo judgemental....kinda like u? So, I am insensitive because I am telling someone to "relax"???
Oh, yeah, ur right, maybe this person will feel better if I say: Oh my God! Yeah, continue freaking out, its good for u!
Anybody who has any kind of problem, there is no point in freaking out , I know that it is easier said than done, but.........they stil need to RELAX. Why? Because I know that once she calms down a little bit, then maybe she can get pregnant. Peace of mind plays a big role in human anatomy.
WHen I could not get pregnant and I was even told that I was going through early menopause, I was beside myself...almost suicidal. Then one day I was sitting at work and the best advice that I ever got came from a co-worker: Just relax....and the rest will happen. Guess what that did for me? I went home and told my hubby that we were no longer gonna have sex just to conceive and that we were gonna give our sex life a break, Do you know where that got me? It got me pregnant! I am a very spiritual person and I believe that once your mind is at ease , then it makes things easier.
So, maybe your the person who enjoys seeing people sad, and upset, and you like them to be all nervous.....which is why you hated it when I told this poor lady to relax! Wow, I feel like I am back in elementary .........where u the class bully? Stop your ignorance baby!
I said it before and I will say it again: Anybody who is having difficulty conceiving should relax and the rest shall happen for them.......I have seen it happen not just to me, but to my sister-in law (she had just given up on conceiving), and it also happened to my very own sister after 5 miscarriages!
Now SEXKI11EN.......U RELAX!

 

[parisa]

I have nothing useful to say but wanted to give you an internet *hug*.

When I get panicky and worried like how you're describing I try to remind myself that time passes, no matter what I do. Monday will arrive - eventually. But Monday is also the future. And that by worrying today and wanting Monday to come, I'll be wasting days I'll never get back, feeling upset, worried, etc.

I don't always listen to myself and it's hard to remember these things most of the time but I'm trying to make an effort to enjoy every day I'm alive. We'll never get these days back, and to think back and realise that you've wasted so much time feeling unhappy, will only make you feel worse.

*big hug*

i

 

[parisa]

I have nothing useful to say but wanted to give you an internet *hug*.

When I get panicky and worried like how you're describing I try to remind myself that time passes, no matter what I do. Monday will arrive - eventually. But Monday is also the future. And that by worrying today and wanting Monday to come, I'll be wasting days I'll never get back, feeling upset, worried, etc.

I don't always listen to myself and it's hard to remember these things most of the time but I'm trying to make an effort to enjoy every day I'm alive. We'll never get these days back, and to think back and realise that you've wasted so much time feeling unhappy, will only make you feel worse.

*big hug*

i

Oh honey, I wish u were here, so I could hug you.
I feel your pain in your writing.....I am so sorry.
I get what u mean when U say that u want days to go by fast, but then u realize that life is passing u by. But you know what? Maybe in ur case, its a good thing. Maybe in your case, time needs to go by for something good to happend after some TIME!!!
I know it is hard to do.....but look at everything in a positive way. The more time that goes by, the closer you get to what u want in life, Think of it that way. I know instead most people would think: oh my God, its not happening for me, why has it not happened in all this time? my life is being wasted away and I have no nore time left and blah blah blah. And it is very normal to think this way, but think of it this way: it has not happened up until now, so it has to happen finally, the more that time goes by, the more chance that it is just around the corner. Darling, i believe that one day you will have a beautiful child....just believe and put your mind at ease. nothing good will happen when ur all stressed and scared. Believe in yourself and your body.
Before my pregnancy, my estrogen levels where so low that I was not producing or releasing any eggs, I was told that I was done......,then as soon as I thougt: the hell with this......it happened.
Yes, I know that everybody is different and I know that ur freaking out and scared and panicking. But.....life is really too short, spend it loving your family, smiling more and enjoying your parnter, and when u make love, forget about conceiving, do it to really enjoy each other.
Please keep in mind that I am here for u....always!
Kisses,
PARISA

 

[Sophe]

I feel so sad for u. I think that the best answer that u can get from ur doctor is that there is nothing wrong with u and that u just need to keep on trying.
This wont make much sense but it is true: it will happen when u least expect it.
Stop obsessing over it, forget it for a while. Relax darling!
My sister in law tried to conceive and she was in the same boat as u. Finally she gave up after 7 years of actively trying. Then, I remember she was not feeling well one time and she wanted me to go with her to the doctor. When the doc came, she said is there a chance of u being preggers? and my sis in law said; no, I cannot get pregnant.
The doc said; well, guess what? u tested positive for pregnancy!
Now she has a beautiful one year old boy. SEE? dON'T GIVE UP!
I miscarried after 5 months of pregnancy.....then could not get pregnant for a whole year. We were having sex three times a week for me to get pregnant. Finally after 11 months of trying, we both kinda got tiered of it. So we kinda gave our sex life a break.
I remember we were doing it about once every two weeks, and no ovulating kits or anything were used. Then my period was late, so my doct tells me that I am pregnant.
Pls listen to me, stop obsessing over it. Stress plays a horrible roll in not letting u get pregnant my dear. Right now I am 13 weeks pregnant and I know that it will happend for u.
Kisses,
Parisa

OMG! not a relax it'll happen post on one of our threads... I can't belive it... I am actually LOL to myself here...

 

[Sophe]

Dear sexki11en:
I am definitely not ignorant. The ognorance must come from someone who is sooo judgemental....kinda like u? So, I am insensitive because I am telling someone to "relax"???
Oh, yeah, ur right, maybe this person will feel better if I say: Oh my God! Yeah, continue freaking out, its good for u!
Anybody who has any kind of problem, there is no point in freaking out , I know that it is easier said than done, but.........they stil need to RELAX. Why? Because I know that once she calms down a little bit, then maybe she can get pregnant. Peace of mind plays a big role in human anatomy.
WHen I could not get pregnant and I was even told that I was going through early menopause, I was beside myself...almost suicidal. Then one day I was sitting at work and the best advice that I ever got came from a co-worker: Just relax....and the rest will happen. Guess what that did for me? I went home and told my hubby that we were no longer gonna have sex just to conceive and that we were gonna give our sex life a break, Do you know where that got me? It got me pregnant! I am a very spiritual person and I believe that once your mind is at ease , then it makes things easier.
So, maybe your the person who enjoys seeing people sad, and upset, and you like them to be all nervous.....which is why you hated it when I told this poor lady to relax! Wow, I feel like I am back in elementary .........where u the class bully? Stop your ignorance baby!
I said it before and I will say it again: Anybody who is having difficulty conceiving should relax and the rest shall happen for them.......I have seen it happen not just to me, but to my sister-in law (she had just given up on conceiving), and it also happened to my very own sister after 5 miscarriages!
Now SEXKI11EN.......U RELAX!

I think your comment of 'Relax it will happen' is really not helpfull, some of us try for years and resort to tests medication and IVF to acheive the familys we so desire, its such a tough emotional journey we are going through, while I agree that freaking out will not have a positive outcome I think the OP is entitled to feel as she does right now.

No amount of relaxing can unblock fallopian tubes, make you ovulate on your own or increase a mans sperm count. After TTC for 2 years the only way to go is to have all the tests as it is more than likely there is something wrong, most of the time it can be easily fixed, by a simple pill such as clomid for example. Relaxing and giving up is a waste of precious time.

I know you mean well, and I envy your naivety, as this has long been taken away from me.

 

[parisa]

I feel so sad for u. I think that the best answer that u can get from ur doctor is that there is nothing wrong with u and that u just need to keep on trying.
This wont make much sense but it is true: it will happen when u least expect it.
Stop obsessing over it, forget it for a while. Relax darling!
My sister in law tried to conceive and she was in the same boat as u. Finally she gave up after 7 years of actively trying. Then, I remember she was not feeling well one time and she wanted me to go with her to the doctor. When the doc came, she said is there a chance of u being preggers? and my sis in law said; no, I cannot get pregnant.
The doc said; well, guess what? u tested positive for pregnancy!
Now she has a beautiful one year old boy. SEE? dON'T GIVE UP!
I miscarried after 5 months of pregnancy.....then could not get pregnant for a whole year. We were having sex three times a week for me to get pregnant. Finally after 11 months of trying, we both kinda got tiered of it. So we kinda gave our sex life a break.
I remember we were doing it about once every two weeks, and no ovulating kits or anything were used. Then my period was late, so my doct tells me that I am pregnant.
Pls listen to me, stop obsessing over it. Stress plays a horrible roll in not letting u get pregnant my dear. Right now I am 13 weeks pregnant and I know that it will happend for u.
Kisses,
Parisa

OMG! not a relax it'll happen post on one of our threads... I can't belive it... I am actually LOL to myself here...

well, then keep on laughing baby!
Frankly, I don't care what u think.....

 

[mrs c f]

I'm with the girls on this one. One of the worst things to say to some one LTTC is relax!! Their is NO scientific evidence yet to say stress causes you not to conceive!! And maybe this poor woman is stressed about the tests who wouldnt be, it doesnt mean shes a stress head!!

I think its normail to feel how you do at the moment hun I was the same after my tests. Its a difficult journey and we have loads of ups and downs. Look at it two ways they will possibly find something and you can be treated for it and at least you will know why you are having issues and then you can treat it or they wont find anything.

They never found anything with me but i have now been referred. I was crying when they told me I had been referred both with relief and also sadness that we having to get help. Like I said its a roller coaster and you deal with every day as it comes.

Good luck hun and lots of love. xx

 

[NavyWife84]

First off, I am sorry to the OP that this post has become an arguement rather than helpful to you. However, for us LTTTCers, just relax makes our blood boil. OP, if you need to chat, any of us ladies are here for you.

I do want to put my two cents in though...I hate when people say just relax. Aren't most people relaxed for the first 6 months to a year that they start ttc? Hmmm...relaxing didn't work for a year, so I stopped relaxing and went to a doctor. And, alas, something is wrong with me. Relaxing won't cure infertility, just like it won't cure cancer, diabetes, etc!!!! (Not to mention that DH and I don't have a sex drive at all, so if we relaxed, we would never have sex, therefore no baby! And no, the TTC didn't kill the sex drive...it was just never there.)

Relaxed, no! Lucky or blessed, yes.

 

[Sophe]

First off, I am sorry to the OP that this post has become an arguement rather than helpful to you. However, for us LTTTCers, just relax makes our blood boil. OP, if you need to chat, any of us ladies are here for you.

I do want to put my two cents in though...I hate when people say just relax. Aren't most people relaxed for the first 6 months to a year that they start ttc? Hmmm...relaxing didn't work for a year, so I stopped relaxing and went to a doctor. And, alas, something is wrong with me. Relaxing won't cure infertility, just like it won't cure cancer, diabetes, etc!!!! (Not to mention that DH and I don't have a sex drive at all, so if we relaxed, we would never have sex, therefore no baby! And no, the TTC didn't kill the sex drive...it was just never there.)

Relaxed, no! Lucky or blessed, yes.

I am sorry to, to the OP, I did not mean to get involved in an argument.

There are lots of really nice helpfull ladies on this forum, who will totally understand you and be willing to listen and share their experiences, its made me see I am not alone in my feelings, you are in the right place x

 

[zanDark]

Aw sweetie we've all had the same terrifying thoughts going through our heads and they're absolutely heartbreaking They're overwhelming and so so scary!!

Just try to take it one day at a time...let yourself cry or freak out if you need to let your feelings out, but try to think positive...even if there is a problem you will deal with it and will conquer it!! Even if there is a problem just knowing about it puts you one step closer to your dream

I hope all your tests come back awesome

To parisa:
I know you mean well and I seriously doubt you're trying to be mean...but please respect the pain and torture women in the LTTTC board are going through. We have heard "just relax" from a million different people LOL we don't need to hear it in the ONE place we feel less alone, the one place where we can show everyone how broken we really feel...instead of putting on a brave face like we do in real life... I'm sorry if I'm rude but being told to "just relax" by a pregnant woman in the LTTTC section makes me want to close the browser window and never come back.

 

[zanDark]

Sweetie I think you're the one that needs to relax

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope your pregnancy is a very healthy and very happy one

Maybe now we should stop hijacking the OPs thread and start being more supportive to her

 

[parisa]

Thank you.....that is very sweet of u. i honestly hope from the bottom of my heart that good things only happen to every single one of u!
Amen!

 

[Sophe]

Parisa, I see that you did not mean any harm.

There is actually a book entitled 'relax it'll happen' as this comment is notorious as it is said so often too us, obviously you are not aware of this and innocently said the comment, but I will warn you, if you say that to LTTTC ladies then it is likey to be not received well.

My own mother says it to me all the time, its just very frustrating for us to keep hearing it. it doesn't help us.

I am sorry for your loss and I understand we are not the only people who have had pain in their lives, and that you belive relaxing worked for you and thats why you said it.

I do not meant to bully anyone on this forum, although I will defend LTTTC ladies on this board if I feel they have been offended.