Donating my eggs to SIL

[mummyb1]

Hi Ladies,

Now I'm not to sure if I'm posting this in the right section so ill apologise in advance and also for this lengthy post.

My SIL is having a lot of trouble conceiving herself she's been told that there are a number of problems with her eggs and other things and that she is possibly infertile, now I have done a lot of research as I am thinking of donating my eggs to her I have not yet mentioned anything to her and I'm not even sure if its something they would consider.

I know that some will say its better coming from an annonomus donor as they wouldn't have any emotional ties to the child and seeing as I would be part of the child's life and also the aunt this has crossed my mind, how would I feel looking at that child and seeing a very strong resemblance to my own daughter? Knowing that I am biologically that child's mother? But then I think I know I could do this yes the egg has come from me but I am just giving her the equipment she needs in order to get something I know they so desparetly want and would complete their life, the child wouldn't be mine I haven't carried the baby I haven't bonded with the child I haven't raise the baby they will have done all things a parent does.

I know this is not as simple as I'm making it out please believe me I have not made this decision lightly I know the risks and what is involved I guess the one thing that scares me is that when that child turns 18 legally s/he would be intitled to know the truth about their journey into the world and I wonder how or if this would affect things?

Also as I have not mentioned this to my SIL yet how she would react to my offer? I would hate to offend her by offering and I don't know if me being part of the family might complicate things for her? I guess one of the only ways I would know is by speaking to the family, I know they have considered adoption, IVF and also surrogacy. Maybe this isn't a good idea and I shouldn't mention this to them at all? I just want to help them get the one thing I know they so desparetly want and if I can do something so little to help I am willing to do this.

I guess I'm just looking for some views opinions etc I'm also not expecting all positives just any kind of advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading x

 

[star1]

I think that it is a beautiful thing you are offering. Just be sure to do it in a way that your SIL knows she can say no if she wants to.

A few things to consider:
- obviously the egg collection is a big medical process for yourself - make sure you know exactly what this entails
- Only you can imagine how it would feel knowing the child is biologically yours, but I think most people would be ok with it, especially as they haven't carried the child themselves
- It would really be up to your SIL to explain to the child how they came about, but I think this can be done in a thoughtful manner that shouldn't cause the child too much distress
- Is the SIL your brothers wife? If so, obviously your brothers sperm couldn't be used to fertilise your eggs so it would mean a sperm donor too (something which may put them off)

Star x

 

[cat81]

I think what you are considering is a very generous thing to offer. I was also wondering whether this was your brother's wife which would obviously make things complicated as your eggs couldn't be fertilised with your brother's sperm.
Also, I am no expert on this topic but I am sure that I heard that in cases like this what they often do is give the eggs you donate to another woman who is struggling to conceive and then, in return, your SIL would get donor eggs from a stranger. This would save some complications as you would not have to deal with watching them raise a child which was genetically yours. However, you would have to consider whether you would be willing to have your eggs donated to a complete stranger.
You sound like a remarkable woman and I hope that you and your family work out a solution which works for all of you. x

 

[Emma&Freya]

What a lovely thing to do

In the future Ill be doing surrocacy for my younger sister