Don't feel like a 'real' adult

[catty]

I know this sounds weird but I really don't see myself as a proper adult!
I have 2 children, 3 bed house and car, completed uni over 5 years ago and I still don't feel like a 'real' adult.
I see some of the other mums at toddlers groups and they just seem so much more like 'adults' although most of them are only a few years older than me.
Making Sunday dinners for their family, hosting Xmas, seeing their friends very rarely and if they do it's a couples kind of thing with their husbands etc

I'm still friends with people from school, go round to my mums and sit their like I'm a teenager expecting to be fed (although this is only once every 2 weeks) and would never think to cook for her!

What age did you feel like a proper adult adult. Maybe I need to grow up!!

Also edited to add the bit I find hard aswell is some of my friends still want to meet up fairly regularly and I feel Torn as don't have a valid excuse. Being a busy working mum with 2 kids and a lot of housework to do just doesn't seem to count. How do you become more of a family unit... I guess I should be lucky I have friends but it can be difficult

 

[hayz_baby]

I don't. But then I talk to people who are younger than me and don't have similar responsibilties to me it makes me realise, yes actually I am an adult!

 

[catty]

Hayz that's definitely true! I work in the evenings mostly with teenagers and the difference is unreal! It's weird though as I can still kinda fit in with that age group at work. Wondering if that's a good or bad thing haha

 

[tallybee]

Lol I know what you mean in some ways I feel like I've been an adult forever and in others I feel completely out of my depth

 

[pandacub]

I don't feel like an adult either!

And I totally do the same thing with going to my mums expecting to be fed

Currently, the living room is messy and I'm sat in my pjs watching cartoons with Jacob.. I feel like an adult would have done a complete clean and done the weekly shop by now...
Edited to add: the reason I'm in my pjs still is that I ran out of clean pants, so had to put them all in the wash and am currently waiting for them to dry on up the radiator...

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I definitely don't feel like a proper adult yet! I've been married for 2 years, have a 3yo son and expecting baby 2, we have our own house ect. But then again I am only 22, quite a lot of friends from school are still in the same position with the same responsibilities as when we were 17.

I still go to my parents and sit there expecting to be fed, and usually if there's some sort of crisis I can be guilty of phoning my mum thinking she can fix everything

 

[Kate&Lucas]

You sound like you're doing just fine to me

If it helps, I do all the "real adult" things. I come home from work and get straight into my pinny
Edited as I accidentally posted too early!
Im 26 but compared to others I know of the same age, they're living at home, getting their clothes washed, meals made and it makes me feel ancient! But then I go to work and I'm younger than everyone by about 20 years at least, and they think of me as the kid! I can't win

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm the opposite- I feel old beyond my years, probably due to the shit hand life has dealt me. If you don't feel very adulty yet I say enjoy it- it'll happen soon enough! X

 

[DCS]

Im 27 and have 2 kids a dog, OH works I'm home with the kiddies. The only time I feel like a grown up is when the post man says hi to me when I see him on his rounds. I'm so bad at cleaning, and laundry. In my head I'm like 17 still. Enjoy it. I'm sure enough we will feel sooooooo old. Although, I was talking to my cousin the otherday, and she said she was applying for uni and that made me feel old. I remember when she was born.

 

[Banshee]

I don't know if you ever really become a grown up in your mind. I am 38 with two children, mortgage, two cars, responsible job etc but I still look around for a proper grown up when it comes to things like dealing with the broken shower, organising the insurance etc lol.
I think when we're children we imagine that we'll be different when we're adults but actually you're the same person with the same insecurities often, just with more miles on the clock.

 

[Banshee]

I don't know if you ever really become a grown up in your mind. I am 38 with two children, mortgage, two cars, responsible job etc but I still look around for a proper grown up when it comes to things like dealing with the broken shower, organising the insurance etc lol.
I think when we're children we imagine that we'll be different when we're adults but actually you're the same person with the same insecurities often, just with more miles on the clock.

 

[missk1989]

You sound like you're doing just fine to me

If it helps, I do all the "real adult" things. I come home from work and get straight into my pinny
Edited as I accidentally posted too early!
Im 26 but compared to others I know of the same age, they're living at home, getting their clothes washed, meals made and it makes me feel ancient! But then I go to work and I'm younger than everyone by about 20 years at least, and they think of me as the kid! I can't win

This is me exactly!

 

[loeylo]

I'm the same! I'm 26, a homeowner, I'm a teacher and we have a newborn and a dog. I'm in a long term relationship.

I always think I will feel like an adult at the next stage (like moving out, finishing uni, buying a house, having a baby etc. I never do!

... Although I am going on my first post baby night out tonight with friends who don't have kids. My oh has gone out to collect my friends whilst baby slept and I got ready. I'm sitting with my makeup on, a glass of wine I poured, jammies on. Can't finish getting ready as the baby started screaming for a feed, I fed her and now she screams every time I put her down. I'm gonna be late and my friends just won't understand why I'm so stressed. Maybe this is adulthood? I'm so tired I am already looking forward to coming home, putting my jammies on and having a cuppa!

 

[hayz_baby]

I look quite young too, every time I tell someone I have three kids I always get told I'm too young to have 3 kids.. I always say I'm a lot older than what I look!

 

[vickyandchick]

I feel this way too.
Technically I am an adult, I'm 23 which means I'm supposed to have been an adult for 5 years but, honestly, I've got no idea what I'm doing.
Then again I look at people a year or 2 younger than me with no responsibility and I feel ancient.

 

[misspriss]

I'm 27 and I feel like a total adult. I'm not sure when it happened.

When I graduated college it didn't, when I graduated from grad school not yet, then I got married, still felt like a kid, my mom passed away and that made me feel a little less like a kid but not really. Then I got pregnant with my son, still felt like a child pretending to be an adult, especially when he was in the NICU. We bought a house, etc - still felt like I was "playing adult", doing adult things, appearing to be an adult, but still a kid.

Sometime inbetween kid 1 and kid 1 it happened. I no longer feel in touch with even college aged kids. I don't really relate to people without kids well at all anymore. I have the desire to do holiday dinner for everyone at our house (I would LOVE to), but the tradition to go to grandma's is still set.

Partially it's just because I feel old, I lost touch with "popular" culture - I mean "on fleek"... My friends with kids are my age or older. I am now concerned with schooling and the future for my kids. I'm responsible for their health, safety and wellbeing above my own. It just grew me up somehow. I now feel like a full adult, for sure.

 

[liz1985]

I dont feel like a grown up at all. When im talking to some of the younger girls at work with no responsabiluties it makes me feel more grown up but apart from that i still feel really young. Tbh i dont go out much anymore, to do 'young' thinks, like just going out drinking. It tends to be playdates or meals out with friends or family, but most of my friends and similar aged family all have children now so were all in the same boat. I think some of my issue is that me and OH both look young for our age so it may be in my head, but i feel like people dont see me as a proper adult either. I saw a parent from where i work at ds swimming lesson the other day and i could tell she was surprised i had a child, esspessially when i told her he was 4 next month, even though im probably only a couple of years younger than her. Everytime i tell people im married with children, i feel like I have to get it in that im 30 and just look young lol.

 

[Ceejay123]

I don't feel like an adult at all! But apparently I am!

I'm 24, I have two of my own kids and my OH has another. I'm about to graduate University. We're just moving home.. I'm sorting Xmas Dinner for like.. 10 people.

But I'm still like a teenage girl. I like to go out drinking, I still see some friends from school. I enjoy playing video games in an evening (if theres any bloody time)

If it helps im also constantly moaned at for not making time for people - I just simply don't have the time. I just answer back that those that are getting the effort should think theirselves lucky, I don't do it for everyone.

I still laugh at the silliest immature things.. and I'm so extremely sarcastic. Haha

 

[kellyc1987]

I feel the same, I'm 28, own a house, have a 7 month old, been with my partner 9 years and have a very responsible job.

And yet I still ring my mum everyday, go to my grans house and expect feeding and tea and biscuits, I still like silly tv shows like family guy & American dad and get excited about a new video game release

 

[OmarsMum]

I'm 37 but I don't feel like an adult

I enjoy Disney movies, I love teenagers shows & books. I don't fit in and I'm fine with it, I'm outgoing, I don't like house visits or serving tea & food in proper chinaware. We don't even have a routine. My friends are 6+ yrs younger than me, my bestie is 11 years younger than me

I graduated in 2002, had my post grad degree in 2005 but I still take every opportunity to study something new. I get excited when I go to story reading more than my child, I'm going to a colour run next week with my bestie & her 22 yrs old sister

I don't look sophisticated, and I don't feel that I'm approaching 40 in few years