I totally understand how you feel. I was like it last pregnancy with dd. I refused to believe we would be taking her home till I actually had her in my arms. I wouldn't buy anything, wouldn't talk about the pregnancy, and refused anything anyone bought for the baby. Even now I struggle to believe she's ours and not going anywhere and I'm very overprotective. I've tried this pregnancy to pull myself together a little more though, the way i was last time upset my poor DH and ds a lot and I don't want to spoil it for them again. It's hard and honestly do I believe that I'm going to be taking baby home, at the moment no. But I'm taking it a day at a time. Don't feel bad for how you feel, it won't effect how you bond with baby once it's here. My dd is my absolute world.