Don't know how to deal with this situation

[Boomerslady]

This is a delicate subject matter and really don't want to offend anyone, as it's regarding racism (of sorts) but I was talking to Ben yesterday (nearly 6) about who sits on his table etc (it's rare I get anything out of him!) and he was listing all the names, so I asked who were his friends.

He answered, all of them are my friends except D, I asked why not he he said 'D smells funny' when I asked what of, he replied 'brown'

Needless to say I told him that wasn't ok to say and we are all the same regardless of colour. He has always referred to coloured children or people as 'brown' since he was little, I think he believes it's just being descriptive, like saying they have blue eyes etc, but I don't like it.

I'm not sure how to deal with it....the odd thing is there are a number of kids on his class who are all different races, and he's never had a problem making friends with them before.

He did also say that D has lots of friends and isn't picked on (that was my main concern, that a number of kids had been saying the same thing).

Anyway how do I deal with it going forward? Is there a book? I've lost count of the discussions we've had where I explain 'brown' isn't a trek to describe someone, but it's not going in!!

 

[loeylo]

I am a school teacher (although my pupils are much older as it is secondary school) and I think it is good that you are addressing this now. Tbh in my area, race isn't a massive issue as there are relatively few ethnic minorities here, and they are pretty well accepted, however the subjects I teach include teaching about racial inequalities and it can sometimes get contentious in the class!

I'm sure you are doing this already, but have you tried teaching him the proper names for ethnic groups? One thing I will say is there is generally a fear of using the word "black" as apparently it is "racist" although that is the terminology we work with in the curriculum. Maybe just try correcting him when he says "brown" by maybe saying "yes his skin is brown but we call it ..." Depending on this boys ethnicity. With regard to the smell comment, maybe just tell him that you can't smell "brown" and maybe the boy can't help smelling.

In all honesty, I wouldn't force it too much. He may just not get on particularly well with this boy - I'd totally bring race out the issue if I'm honest. I it were another white boy who he didn't like because he smelled, how would you deal with it? I'd treat it the same, whilst trying to expose him to ethnic diversity where possible. Maybe take him to an Indian restaurant?

I remember some of the things my sister would say - my mums cousin married an African lady who very confidently called herself "black" - they had kids who were obviously mixed race. The boy was eating a chocolate bar which was really close to his skin colour, he got melted chocolate on the wallpaper and my sister told everyone that she had a cousin who was made out of chocolate and he melted on a hot day ... It was purely innocent but sounded really racist to an outsider!