I had a terrible day yesterday. (sorry I didnt mean this to be so long but i am really gutted) 
It was Alex's 1 year corrected age neonatal check. We were nervous but didn't expect to come out so hurt.
The physio had a look at Alex and I expressed my concerns about her right side. The physio said she could see a slight difference but again, didn't believe it was worth worrying about (I trust her
)
The doctor then sat down and asked how we were doing. Everything was fine until it came to weaning.
I began to explain:
"Alex does ok :/ She had porridge in the morning.... followed by jars for lunch and dinner...."
The doctor had obviously stopped listening at the "She has porridge" part and assumed for ages that we only fed Alex on porridge.
She wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways to tell her otherwise so I sat being patronised by her.
She then went on to say she has a 1 year old term baby, and what she does with her child.
Eventually she shut up and I explained, Alex has a jar at lunch , and a jar at dinner. We have huge difficulties with lumps, and the HV advised we used baby pasta stars and spaghetti and pop it in some jars . Even a neonatal nurse told me that the difficulties we have are often expected with preemies like Alex.
The doctor continued, saying try this, try that. I told her til I was blue in the face - IT DOES NOT WORK! She chokes, she throws up anything in her tummy from previous hours. We tried EVERY DAY but same scenario - she gags and throws up.
I told the doctor I understand they gag, thats normal, but we cannot continue to feed her one spoon, for her to gag and throw up all contents in her stomach!
I was basically made out to be someone who wasnt trying hard enough. She just would not listen. I was almost crying in the room.
She has decided to refer us to the dietician, which, fair enough, that's a good move.
I went home, and gave alex a spoonful of food - just like the doctor expects - it wasnt even THAT lumpy tbh, and the carpet was quickly covered in milk and anything she'd had hours before i burst into tears. I felt like dragging the woman to the house and showing her my carpet!!
But I did not expect to go to a neonatal check out for a doctor to continue on about what SHE does with her TERM child and basically compare. I felt like a complete f***ing failure and I am still broken over it.
We were told everything we already know. Yes we know Alex needs a more varied diet but its not going to happen in the situation we are in just now, and we need help and support. Instead, we got shot down and made to feel like this was our fault - no support or anything, we know nothing new.
The odd thing is, someone who we thought didnt have a clue, seemed ok about the whole situation - the HV. She didnt seem too worried at all
I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow for a consultant appointment for this pregnancy, but not sure if I should perhaps speak to someone. i feel like we are no further forward.
OH is trying to remind me that we know best right now and I know he's right, its not like the doctor is living with a preemie so she doesnt understand. But we need more immediate support and yesterday was awful. He is angry and spent all night saying I was an amazing mum and begging me not to let it get to me.
See im crying again
It was Alex's 1 year corrected age neonatal check. We were nervous but didn't expect to come out so hurt.
The physio had a look at Alex and I expressed my concerns about her right side. The physio said she could see a slight difference but again, didn't believe it was worth worrying about (I trust her
)The doctor then sat down and asked how we were doing. Everything was fine until it came to weaning.
I began to explain:
"Alex does ok :/ She had porridge in the morning.... followed by jars for lunch and dinner...."
The doctor had obviously stopped listening at the "She has porridge" part and assumed for ages that we only fed Alex on porridge.
She wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways to tell her otherwise so I sat being patronised by her.
She then went on to say she has a 1 year old term baby, and what she does with her child.
Eventually she shut up and I explained, Alex has a jar at lunch , and a jar at dinner. We have huge difficulties with lumps, and the HV advised we used baby pasta stars and spaghetti and pop it in some jars . Even a neonatal nurse told me that the difficulties we have are often expected with preemies like Alex.
The doctor continued, saying try this, try that. I told her til I was blue in the face - IT DOES NOT WORK! She chokes, she throws up anything in her tummy from previous hours. We tried EVERY DAY but same scenario - she gags and throws up.
I told the doctor I understand they gag, thats normal, but we cannot continue to feed her one spoon, for her to gag and throw up all contents in her stomach!
I was basically made out to be someone who wasnt trying hard enough. She just would not listen. I was almost crying in the room.
She has decided to refer us to the dietician, which, fair enough, that's a good move.
I went home, and gave alex a spoonful of food - just like the doctor expects - it wasnt even THAT lumpy tbh, and the carpet was quickly covered in milk and anything she'd had hours before
i burst into tears. I felt like dragging the woman to the house and showing her my carpet!!But I did not expect to go to a neonatal check out for a doctor to continue on about what SHE does with her TERM child and basically compare. I felt like a complete f***ing failure and I am still broken over it.
We were told everything we already know. Yes we know Alex needs a more varied diet but its not going to happen in the situation we are in just now, and we need help and support. Instead, we got shot down and made to feel like this was our fault - no support or anything, we know nothing new.
The odd thing is, someone who we thought didnt have a clue, seemed ok about the whole situation - the HV. She didnt seem too worried at all
I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow for a consultant appointment for this pregnancy, but not sure if I should perhaps speak to someone. i feel like we are no further forward.
OH is trying to remind me that we know best right now and I know he's right, its not like the doctor is living with a preemie so she doesnt understand. But we need more immediate support and yesterday was awful. He is angry and spent all night saying I was an amazing mum and begging me not to let it get to me.
See im crying again
and you know what's best for her.
I've had a preemie - born 16wks prem, and I know how distressing, scary and downright lonely you feel making the long lonely journey back to normality.
She couldnt do this last week!!!
I expected puke but nope!!! I only gave her a taste and she wanted to run off with it
