Don't know who to turn to....information?

[haileysmom]

Hi Ladies, first and foremost i'm so sorry for what everyone has had to go through. I've recently had my 1st miscarriage. I found out at 12 weeks and my baby was only 8.5 weeks.

I'm writing in this section because I have fears about the future now. I have never experienced a loss past this point, but now fear it could happen at anytime before or after birth. Has anyone been given any kind of answers as to why the loss has happened. I'm scared to think about the future because now I know of the reality. Like most women I "never" thought this could happen to me, and it has. It doesn't matter what trimester, what the statistics, how healthy you are, your age, or if you have other children. This is a reality, and I can't stand the pain thinking about all the different ways people have lost their babies. Anyways I was just looking for words and information towards the future. I feel no doctors ever give you the facts of what really can happen and was hoping some brave women would be willing to share their thoughts and experiences to help me fight this fear with information. I hope I have not been out of line in anyway, but just loosing my baby 2 weeks ago I have so many fears running through my mind. Thanks in advance.

 

[jojo23]

hi hun, im sorry for your loss...
its so heartbreaking at any stage. i lost my little girl at 22 weeks last year and i didnt get any answers unfortunately. They did lots of tests on both me and baby but the result came back that it was most likely a chromosome defect and that baby didnt need that particular chromosome until 20 weeks+

the only thing i got comfort for is that the risk of it happening again is so tiny they wouldnt even really entertain it. some women do get answers and often it can be due to something like trisomy which is again a chromosome defect where the baby has too many or sometimes too few chromosomes to develop properly. another reason for a later loss can be a weak cervix or an infection which travels to the baby and fluid.

i know its quite technical but thats about all i know on a later loss. i do know how scary it is trying to get pregnant again after a loss and how scary it is but we do have some sunshine among the rain. im now 22 weeks pregnant again with a healthy lil boy so please dont be too scared to go for it.

i know its so hard at this stage hun and you'll never not think of your little angel but we're always here for anything you need!!! we are all united in our losses no matter what stage we were at xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[amanda83]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my son Jaxon at 22 weeks due to placental abruption, basically blood formed between my uterus and the placenta causing pre-mature labour, another 2 weeks and the doctors said he would have had a chance at survival. It came on without any warning what so ever, I started to bleed and 12 hours later I had delivered our little man. Two days before I complained to my co-workers that I hadn't felt him move in a few days, up to that point I hadn't felt a whole lot of movement anyways, so I didn't think anything of it. In retrospect this was probably the beginning of the separation of the placenta, which was depriving him of nutrients.
It's the hardest thing that has ever happened to me, and will probably be the hardest thing I will ever have faced. The doctors say there is a 10% chance of it happening again, it is more likely to happen to people who experienced it before. In a positive light there is a 90% chance it will not. The doctors told us we could start trying when I stopped bleeding (5 weeks) and we did. No luck yet but hoping for a little rainbow soon. I will not stop until I have a sibling for our angel.
I urge you to try again, I have no doubt you will have you're little rainbow too All the best! xo

 

[haileysmom]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. What a scary experience, i'm so sorry for your loss, but i'm sure your angel will send you the baby you were meant to meet.

 

[OliveBay]

Hi haileysmom, I'm so sorry for your loss. have you been told if you will get a follow-up appointment about what happened to you and your little one? Are you waiting for test results?

I lost my little boy at 22 weeks and we had a follow-up appointment with a consultant 6 weeks later. There was no real reason found for our baby passing away, apart from possibly a problem with his cord which was very coiled so maybe this cut off the blood supply, but they're not saying that for definite. They've basically said it was one of those awful things which couldn't have been predicted or prevented. Although that was quite hard to hear, we were told that it was a 'good' result as it meant hopefully it won't happen again.

As you can see from my ticker I am now pregnant again. Immediately after we lost our baby I wondered how anyone could ever put themselves through pregnancy again, but I very quickly learned to have hope again. I am more than aware that there are no guarantees of this pregnancy turning out ok, but I'm willing to take the risk. I decided that I am not willing to give up on this adventure yet as I want to be a mum so badly. This is a decision each of us has to make individually according to our own circumstances. Hope and optimism are so important in life, that we have to stay positive, even after the traumatic and devastating experiences we have been through - its just human nature.

Sending you lots of love

 

[amotherslove]

hello, i am so sorry for your loss., we lost lily at 12 weeks too. while i know "why" (she had low fluid in her sac) i don;t know what caused this.. though i have theories.. i know how it feels to feel like it will happen again.. i am about to begin ttc again after 4 months.. pm me if you want to talk or email me *hugs* email is - hdryn (at)stu.ca.

 

[dancareoi]

Hi Ladies, first and foremost i'm so sorry for what everyone has had to go through. I've recently had my 1st miscarriage. I found out at 12 weeks and my baby was only 8.5 weeks.

I'm writing in this section because I have fears about the future now. I have never experienced a loss past this point, but now fear it could happen at anytime before or after birth. Has anyone been given any kind of answers as to why the loss has happened. I'm scared to think about the future because now I know of the reality. Like most women I "never" thought this could happen to me, and it has. It doesn't matter what trimester, what the statistics, how healthy you are, your age, or if you have other children. This is a reality, and I can't stand the pain thinking about all the different ways people have lost their babies. Anyways I was just looking for words and information towards the future. I feel no doctors ever give you the facts of what really can happen and was hoping some brave women would be willing to share their thoughts and experiences to help me fight this fear with information. I hope I have not been out of line in anyway, but just loosing my baby 2 weeks ago I have so many fears running through my mind. Thanks in advance.

Hi, i am so sorry for your loss.

I had my first MMC in July 2009 at 8 weeks gestation, cause unknown. I was 37 at the time.

In the september I became PG again. I worried the whole time that something was going to go wrong again. Time seemed to stop. I had very very bad bleeding due to a blood clot(not serious) so kept thinking the worse.

however, my healthy little boy was born May 2010.

The day i had him i vowed i would never put myself through that again, he was baby number 3, as at the time our son was 8 and daughter 5.

however after a while i did become broody, but DH said no.

Last October age 40, i became pregnant by accident,but sadly at 17 weeks, found baby had died at 13-14 weeks. (after healthy scan at 12-13weeks)

Despite everything i have been through and suffered i am desperate to try again.

I have googled so many different things regarding % of miscarriage at my age etc, all the odds are in our favour. Hope to get DH to agree to try again for baby 4.

I found that becoming PG again straight away after losing one, really helped me with the grieving process.

It is only natural now that we will worry about future pregnancies and in a way the magic of pregnancy has been taken away from us, but when we do get our rainbows it will be worth every second of the worry.

 

[haileysmom]

dancareoi- thanks so much for sharing. Its an inspiration to know someone has been able to have a pregnancy. I really hope your DH becomes on board! Lots of baby dust.