Don't like her godmother anymore...

[Sarah88]

I'm in a bit of a predicament and theres really nothing I can do about it...

I don't like Savannahs godmother anymore. This isn't some silly spat nor is she a new friend. She's actually a family friend; her mum is best friends with my mum so we've grown up together.

She moved in with me and my family (mum, dad etc) just before I gave birth last yr (sounds so weird saying that!), and she's really not who I thought she was... She's about 25 or so and still acts like a teenager. She goes out every thursday night with her friends clubbing, then either chucks a sickie or just comes home from work (she can spend all day at home an still get paid as she drives around for work.). Then she'll whinge and say she's never drinking/going out again.

She'll also fight with a few friends constantly, saying she's over them etc but then the next time they call and want to do something she's all good. This doesn't bother me, but these friends keep saying they'll do stuff and cancel at the last minute. Surely you'd learn your lesson and not bother anymore. And I have to sit here and listen to her whinge and bitch about it...

And just this past week she went away for NY's, while her mum drove 8hrs to come up and find her a house to buy. That is the main reason for her mum coming, she has spent the majority of the time searching the net and going to heaps of different real estates and looking through houses for her. She ended up coming home and not even coming out to say hi to her mum or us, just going straight overf to her new boyfriends.

Which brings me to another point... She is always skanking about, finding new 'loves of her life'. She'll spend every waking moment with him, staying over etc and then wonder why they start to distance themselves. No wonder they do that when you're so full on!

Just one of these wouldn't bother me, but living with her and seeing all these things have just opened my eyes. And it's not just me, my OH and dad also think this. Meanwhile my mum thinks the sun shines out her ass.

Savannah is not christened yet but it's not like I can just tell her she's not the godmum anymore, since I asked her when I was newly pregnant. I just wish I never lived with her and didn't know this side

Sorry for the rant, just need to get it out...

 

[Pyrrhic]

I think you CAN tell her you don't want her as a godmother anymore, you just have to try to be as tactful as possible in a situation that is going to hurt her feelings regardless of how gently you put it. However, if you don't confront the issue then you're going to be left with someone who you're not happy about having an impact in your child's life.

It will be really hard, but I would sit down and say something like:

"I asked you to be a godmother back when I was first pregnant, and I want you to understand how much that means to me. To me a godmother is someone who is caring, responsible, trustworthy, mature, etc etc. I feel it's a very important role and a huge responsibility and although I care for you very much I just feel like certain aspects of your behavior over the last few months make me concerned.'

I don't know, I mean there is no easy way to put it, is there? You could tell a little white lie too. Tell her you picked too many god parents? Or you didn't realise your OH had already asked someone else?

good luck hun

 

[brownhairedmom]

You can tell her! A godmother is supposed to be a person who helps the child on the right path in life and lead them back when they go astray! If she lives like that, you can't trust her to do it. Its entirely up to you and you shouldn't choose someone you aren't comfortable with. I'd use the OH already picked someone and it means a lot to him excuse.

 

[Sarah88]

I was just thinking about it and she is good with Savannah, it's just really me (and my OH to a certain degree, and my dad thinks she's being rather selfish) that isn't real happy with her.

She knows that me and Justin have only chosen 2 ppl, he got to chose the male and I the female. Thing is before she moved in with us there wasn't a doubt in my mind on who I should chose.

It's a hard choice hey... Maybe she will be better once she buys hr own place? Ahh I don't know damn it.