Dr jay Gordon night weaning 11-6. Any reviews/advice?

[littlegreenie]

Hi,
I would like to night wean my 16 month old daughter and have been looking at dr jay Gordon's method. She currently wakes up twice on a good night (only happened 3 times) up to 8 times, probably 5 on average. Were there any tweaks you made which you felt improved the outcomes? Any drawbacks? Anyone who has found it very successful ?

Thanks

 

[hiladun]

Stalking!!

I am about to embark on exactly this. LO is 17 months and has always been hit and miss with both going to sleep and staying asleep. it's gotten so bad the last few weeks that I actually started accidentally sleeping through his wake-ups which really worried me. Finally OH has put his foot down and said we are going to have to do something - and Jay Gordon was the only thing I really feel comfortable with the idea of.

I haven't decided what hours I am going for yet though - I kind of want to do 9pm to 4am as i actually don't mind getting up in the night, but most stuff i've read implies you do 7 hours backwards from when you're happy to be up for the day, eg 11pm-6am.

The Leaky Boob had a good blog series which you can google, where she wrote every day for 7 days, a month later etc. i found that quite interesting.

 

[PitaKat]

Stalking as well.

My boy is almost 17 months and still doesn't sleep well. He sleeps in his own bed in his own room but wakes up a lot and I still get up about 3 times a night (which is a HUGE improvement over when he sleeps with me). I'm so tired that a few days ago I was surprised to wake up with him in my bed (which is too tall for him to climb into). I had gone into his room, picked him up and carried him back to my bed without ever waking up! I just found Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning method a few days ago, so would love to hear how it worked for people.

hiladun, I'm going to look up that blog, thanks!

 

[special_kala]

I really like his approach.

 

[Zephram]

Stalking too. I decided I want to night wean my 12 month old by Christmas and was considering using this approach. Really interested in hearing about anyone's experience with it.

 

[littlegreenie]

I am going to start it tonight so will update in the morning with how it has gone. She often will sleep until midnight and then wakes regularly from then so will see how it goes!

 

[New Mrs W]

Don't really know much about dr jay Gordon but I've pretty much just weaned my near 7 month old from night feeds over the last couple of weeks. I too was waking up and blindly carrying him into our bed without even really knowing. He slept better in our bed and would help himself to milk if he woke but we were both loosing a lot of sleep and I decided I had to do something. So one night I just decided not to feed him when he woke. I also didn't pick him up so he couldn't be trying to get to my boobs. I stroked and patted him and shushed him quietly and calmly. He was by no means screaming but he was unsettled. It took two hours for him to settle and in the end he fell asleep after rolling onto his tummy. He then slept for a further 7 hours. The second night he woke two hours later than the first night and took just 40 minutes to settle. The third night he slept until 5am, settled within 30 mins and slept until 8am. Thw fourth night he slept through. He has had one or two nights of waking but either self settling or settling very quickly with me or daddy shushing him. We have now had a full week of sleeping 12 solid hours and I feel like a different person! I know it's not yet nailed on but the very patient and gentle approach seems to have worked for Mickey. I never had to do any of this with Frankie! X

 

[littlegreenie]

I tried it for the first time last night. Lot was a good night anyway but when she woke I fed her as usual and then put her down awake. She kept screaming and standing up so I got in the cot with her and lay down next to her. She lay but still screamed for about 15 mins whilst I shushed and patted her. I didn't think she would settle for a very long time as she has never slept without rocking or feeding to sleep. She then lay there content whilst I rubbed her back and went to sleep after 45 minutes. She then slept for 2 hours which was a big achievement as she wouldn't normally do more than an hour after her first wake. I will persist with it tonight and try to tire her out during the day so the first spell is long again.

 

[Larkspur]

I just started last night too, with my 14-month-old. I picked 10-6 as my hours, I know he says pick seven but I just decided on the timeframe within which I'm usually in bed.

LO has been starting to wean off nursing to sleep when he goes to bed, though still needs to be cuddled, so I figure it's a good time.

He went to bed just after 7pm, and was woken at 9.30pm by idiots letting off fireworks, grrrr. I fed him to sleep and put him back in his cot. At around 11.30 he woke and came in with me; he fed for a couple of minutes and then rolled over and went off to sleep by himself. No problem.

Around 3.30-3.45 he woke, I fed him briefly but then stopped. He was MAD! Full-screaming tantrum, slapping my chest and lots of "Mamamamama". But it didn't actually last long. He had about four or five five-minute patches of this while I rubbed his back and stroked his head or hummed and whispered "Milk has gone night-night". And then he just seemed to accept it, calmed down, snuggled up really close and fell asleep quietly with no other intervention from me. He was asleep by 4.20. Then he slept till just after 6am, normal time.

I feel really pleased with that, it was so much better than I expected. Looking forward to night two.

 

[JASMAK]

Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I. If i had to...I would try to cut back slowly and increase feeds before bed, maybe with another meal like eggs, to help with hunger through the night.

 

[Larkspur]

Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I. If i had to...I would try to cut back slowly and increase feeds before bed, maybe with another meal like eggs, to help with hunger through the night.

There is no way my baby could eat more during the day than he does now. I know he is not waking from hunger. I think by the time your child is a toddler you know them well enough to know if it is okay to night wean. We are not talking about six-month-olds here.

 

[Larkspur]

Well, I did night two and am so happy with how it's going. LO had a great day, a good nap, off to bed at 6.30pm. He had milk around the normal number of times through the day, though I expected him to want it more often.

He woke a bit more often, 9.30, 1am, 3am and 4.30 but each time a very brief feed and then I unlatched him... And he was fine! Twice he patted my chest and said, "Mama?" And I just whispered, "Milk has gone night-night, sleep time now honey" and he just snuggled in, put his arm around my neck and went off to sleep! I am absolutely stunned at how easy this has been so far, fingers crossed for the third night.

How are you going, OP?

 

[Zephram]

That's great, Larkspur. Keep us up to date with how it's going. I've been too nervous to start yet, plus LO is teething, so I don't want to take away his comfort booby at night yet. But I definitely want to give this a go once the evil tooth is through.

 

[littlegreenie]

Well, I did night two and am so happy with how it's going. LO had a great day, a good nap, off to bed at 6.30pm. He had milk around the normal number of times through the day, though I expected him to want it more often.

He woke a bit more often, 9.30, 1am, 3am and 4.30 but each time a very brief feed and then I unlatched him... And he was fine! Twice he patted my chest and said, "Mama?" And I just whispered, "Milk has gone night-night, sleep time now honey" and he just snuggled in, put his arm around my neck and went off to sleep! I am absolutely stunned at how easy this has been so far, fingers crossed for the third night.

How are you going, OP?

Sounds like it's going well so far. It is for us too. She woke 12, 4, 4:30 then 6:30. She had a brief feed each time then I lay her in her cot awake and shushed and patter her. Each time she cried very briefly and I could leave her with 15 mins so already an improvement from the previous night. How are you feeling with starting the second 3 nights tomorrow night?

 

[Larkspur]

Well, I did night two and am so happy with how it's going. LO had a great day, a good nap, off to bed at 6.30pm. He had milk around the normal number of times through the day, though I expected him to want it more often.

He woke a bit more often, 9.30, 1am, 3am and 4.30 but each time a very brief feed and then I unlatched him... And he was fine! Twice he patted my chest and said, "Mama?" And I just whispered, "Milk has gone night-night, sleep time now honey" and he just snuggled in, put his arm around my neck and went off to sleep! I am absolutely stunned at how easy this has been so far, fingers crossed for the third night.

How are you going, OP?

Sounds like it's going well so far. It is for us too. She woke 12, 4, 4:30 then 6:30. She had a brief feed each time then I lay her in her cot awake and shushed and patter her. Each time she cried very briefly and I could leave her with 15 mins so already an improvement from the previous night. How are you feeling with starting the second 3 nights tomorrow night?

That sounds great! I still have one more night of 'feed short/unlatch' before I will start 'don't feed'. I'm a bit anxious about that, but it's going so well so far that I'm not going to worry too much.

LO co-sleeps with me for most of the night (OH has temporarily retired to the spare room for the duration of the night-weaning) so after the 10 days is up, I'll work on getting him in the cot all night (instead of the first 3-6 hours). We're actually going on holiday right at that time, so he'll be in a travel cot right next to me, which will be a bit easier than going back and forth from room to room.

 

[JASMAK]

Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I. If i had to...I would try to cut back slowly and increase feeds before bed, maybe with another meal like eggs, to help with hunger through the night.

There is no way my baby could eat more during the day than he does now. I know he is not waking from hunger. I think by the time your child is a toddler you know them well enough to know if it is okay to night wean. We are not talking about six-month-olds here.

Wow....i wasnt talking to you, but a little defensive?

 

[Larkspur]

Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I. If i had to...I would try to cut back slowly and increase feeds before bed, maybe with another meal like eggs, to help with hunger through the night.

There is no way my baby could eat more during the day than he does now. I know he is not waking from hunger. I think by the time your child is a toddler you know them well enough to know if it is okay to night wean. We are not talking about six-month-olds here.

Wow....i wasnt talking to you, but a little defensive?

Well, I'm one of the parents in the thread who is following the method, and your response didn't quote anyone, so I assume that whoever you were talking to, it applies to the others of us too.

Either way, this thread was asking for advice on a specific technique, not whether the OP should be night-weaning or not. This thread has mothers here who are actually sleepwalking with their children they are so exhausted. So I don't think your advice to give more food and keep plugging on was helpful.

It's great if you're happy/tough enough to wake up with your children several times a night for years on end but when people are literally putting themselves and their children at risk through exhaustion, I think you have to ask yourself if pushing your personal philosophy in a thread where it's really not asked for is at all helpful.

Is that defensive? I don't think so, I think it's a pretty reasonable response, actually.

 

[JASMAK]

Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I. If i had to...I would try to cut back slowly and increase feeds before bed, maybe with another meal like eggs, to help with hunger through the night.

There is no way my baby could eat more during the day than he does now. I know he is not waking from hunger. I think by the time your child is a toddler you know them well enough to know if it is okay to night wean. We are not talking about six-month-olds here.

Wow....i wasnt talking to you, but a little defensive?

Well, I'm one of the parents in the thread who is following the method, and your response didn't quote anyone, so I assume that whoever you were talking to, it applies to the others of us too.

Either way, this thread was asking for advice on a specific technique, not whether the OP should be night-weaning or not. This thread has mothers here who are actually sleepwalking with their children they are so exhausted. So I don't think your advice to give more food and keep plugging on was helpful.

It's great if you're happy/tough enough to wake up with your children several times a night for years on end but when people are literally putting themselves and their children at risk through exhaustion, I think you have to ask yourself if pushing your personal philosophy in a thread where it's really not asked for is at all helpful.

Is that defensive? I don't think so, I think it's a pretty reasonable response, actually.

Well, I did say that I would wean slowly and give an extra meal with protein before bed...I didn't know only YOUR opinions were welcome. Nor did I say tough it out. Thats your words...and obviously you have your back up. I am offering advice as a fellow breastfeeder. Didn't expect another breastfeeding mother to be so rude. I would love to hear what you think my 'personal philosophy' is. Clearly you must know me and my breastfeeding history. Do tell.

 

[JASMAK]

To the OP...I do not know the book you speak of...what I was trying to say, is if you want to night wean....I would add an extra meal before bed as babies need that fuel source at night when they grow. I weaned my kids at similar ages (20, 19, 24 months) and thats what worked for us...plus going slowly...not abrupt (well except the last baby because I had a breast tumour and surgery, so it was abrupt). For breast pain reasons alone...go slow! But, I fed my kids scrambled eggs with cheese as a bedtime snack on the advice of LLL....worked like a charm. Anymore Q's...don't ask me. Apparently I don't know anything after breastfeeding and weaning three.

 

[Larkspur]

Well, I did say that I would wean slowly and give an extra meal with protein before bed...I didn't know only YOUR opinions were welcome. Nor did I say tough it out. Thats your words...and obviously you have your back up. I am offering advice as a fellow breastfeeder. Didn't expect another breastfeeding mother to be so rude. I would love to hear what you think my 'personal philosophy' is. Clearly you must know me and my breastfeeding history. Do tell.

You said: "Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I."

That seems to me to be pretty clearly saying you think it is wrong to night-wean a toddler because they need the milk... so you think she/I shouldn't night-wean, even though it is hard. In other words, tough it out.

And yes, perhaps I am little scratchy. I am fucking sleep-deprived, so are many other mums in this thread. Maybe you as a fellow breastfeeder could be a bit more sympathetic to that, rather than jumping in with the opinion that we'll basically be ignoring our child's needs if we night-wean. Which is what we're already doing, if you're following the thread... But I'm not allowed to find that advice unhelpful because it's Just Your Opinion.