Dr jay Gordon night weaning 11-6. Any reviews/advice?

[Larkspur]

To the OP...I do not know the book you speak of...

It's not a book. It is a gradual night-weaning method. Here is the link. https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

 

[JASMAK]

Well, I did say that I would wean slowly and give an extra meal with protein before bed...I didn't know only YOUR opinions were welcome. Nor did I say tough it out. Thats your words...and obviously you have your back up. I am offering advice as a fellow breastfeeder. Didn't expect another breastfeeding mother to be so rude. I would love to hear what you think my 'personal philosophy' is. Clearly you must know me and my breastfeeding history. Do tell.

You said: "Babies need milk to grow and for comfort at night. I wouldn't wean. JMO. Not being judgey....I know its hard. I breastfed all three of mine. But, they don't eat like you and I."

That seems to me to be pretty clearly saying you think it is wrong to night-wean a toddler because they need the milk... so you think she/I shouldn't night-wean, even though it is hard. In other words, tough it out.

And yes, perhaps I am little scratchy. I am fucking sleep-deprived, so are many other mums in this thread. Maybe you as a fellow breastfeeder could be a bit more sympathetic to that, rather than jumping in with the opinion that we'll basically be ignoring our child's needs if we night-wean. Which is what we're already doing, if you're following the thread... But I'm not allowed to find that advice unhelpful because it's Just Your Opinion.

Lakspur, you go out of your way to reply rudely to my posts. I think you have a problem. I am sleep deprived too. So what if I think she should wait? How does this concern you? Perhaps she wants to hear that. Did you ever consider that? Sometimes when I was tired (as I am now...thanks for asking...I have three kids...one who still wakes several times at night, one with autism, and one who just had surgery yesterday) I would just need to hear someone to say....hang in there. But, you are hearing what you want to hear. In that same post... I am saying if you want to...I did this. I just feel babies should be weaned during the day first. Night weaning is hard...especially on moms. I have done it three times. Swollen engorged breasts hurt. If you have a problem with MY opinion, then don't read it. But you can bugger off with your negativity, drama and bullying.

 

[Larkspur]

If you have a problem with MY opinion, then don't read it. But you can bugger off with your negativity, drama and bullying.

I am sorry, I am in this thread because I'm actually going through the same process as the OP, and other people are finding reading about it useful.

I don't think I was particularly rude in my responses, I just said I didn't think advise against night-weaning was particularly helpful given that both the OP and I had already started (and finding it to go rather well so far), and the thread is about a particular process. If it was a thread asking for whether she should night-wean or not, I wouldn't have had anything to say.

You called me defensive and said you weren't talking to me. Now you're accusing me of drama and bullying and telling me I have a problem. To be honest, it feels like you're the aggressive one. I'd like to get on with going through the night-weaning process with the OP, so I will take you up on your invitation to ignore your further posts.

 

[Rachel_C]

I used Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning method and I think it was a really good way to go. I waited until LO was 2 because I wanted to get to 2 years BF and I didn't want to risk starting anything that could affect daytime feeds (which I think it may have done if LO was younger, as I had a big drop in supply straight away after stopping night feeds - LO worked hard to get it back but a younger baby may not have been as stubborn perhaps!). It was really very easy, the first two nights we had a minute or two of (angry) crying at each wake up but I cuddled LO after her milk and got up and walked her round for a minute when it was loud (she shares a room with her sister so I took her in the hallway) and she fell back asleep within 10-15 minutes each time. I followed the method as it is outlined, although if it had gone badly I think I would have taken each step more slowly, over more nights. By the one week mark, LO had gone from waking 3+ times a night and feeding for ages each time to sleeping through.

Looking back, I think it was easy because LO was ready. If it hadn't worked within 2 weeks, I think I would have gone back to feeding at night and tried again a couple of months later, or only aimed for 4-5 hours of no feeding in the night and slowly increased it.

We got a Gro Clock to help LO understand and that has worked well, although I hated buying it as I think they are intended to be used in a way I don't support! LO likes to say night night to the sun and both kids check the clock before waking us in the morning (doesn't stop them waking us if there is a problem).

 

[littlegreenie]

I tried night 3 last night. She woke 12, 4, 4:30, 5:15, 5:45. I brought her in to bed at 5:45 and she went back to sleep until 7:30. I fed her at 12, 4, 5:15 and 5:45 and shushed and patted her to get her to sleep which was ok. She took 15 mins to settle each time. At 12, 4 and 5:45 she had quite long feeds although I took her off earlier than she wanted. I think for the next 3 nights I will still feed her if she really wants but just 2 minutes. Then days 6-9 no milk. That will be more gradual for her and me.
Jasmak thanks for your input. I have been giving her porridge or toast before bed but I feel her waking is more out of routine now. I do feel guilty about it as it's hard when she's crying and I know I could easily give her what she wants but I feel like it's the right time for her to not have so many wake ups and already it has improved significantly as her second wake up has been after a period of 4 hours which she never did before. I think it's helping that she is settling to sleep in her cot. I agree it needs to be slow for both of us. I have had mastitis 8 times so need to be very carful to gradually change milk habits. She has been weaned during the day as I returned back to work part time when she was a year but that was easy as she didn't understand so much or know how to assert herself so well! I intend to continue feeding last think at night and first think in the morning for 2 more months.
Larkspur how did you get on last night?
Rachel c thanks for your response. Do you think it helped with your toddler sleeping longer? Did you get find later they asked for milk again during the night or did they seem to forget about it?

 

[Larkspur]

Last night went really well again. I thought it was going to be a disaster because OH (very kindly) took LO out for a few hours in the afternoon to give me a break, but ended up bringing him back late, having had a short late nap, and sort-of dinner. So he had a late bath, a 'catch-up' meal and ended up fighting bedtime for an hour and a half.

But then he slept through till around 1am (unusual!) and was totally fine again with short feeds and then putting himself off to sleep after that!! Not a single complaint or even second request for milk. I'm going to proceed with the second three nights starting tonight, and see how we go with that. I think that will be tougher, but I'm going to focus on making sure he has a solid, predictable day today, lots of outdoor time and food, and a decent bedtime.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

I'm currently night-weaning my 2 year old. I'd read this method and I did something similar but just kind of following our own pace. For several nights I'd feed LO on her first wake up whatever time it was and then just for a short time on any subsequent wake ups. She usually has a longer stretch towards morning and then I'd feed her again when she woke up after that longer stretch. We didn't look at the clock too much as LO has quite a variable bed time. After a while I cut out the feeds completely and now we're down to feeding before bed, early morning (when it gets light outside is the rule we told LO) and then again when LO wake up if she asks for it although sometimes she doesn't. I also offer a snack before bed time and water during the night which she always refuses. This is doable for me and although LO is still waking up I feel our nights are much more restful and she's able to go back to sleep without boob now. DH has even managed to settle her on the odd occasion. In theory I wanted just to let LO self-wean but I knew it was such a long way off and that she needed a little encouragement in the gentlest way I was able.

 

[Nikki Leigh]

I'm hoping to hear how it goes with more parents. I have his webpage saved because I attempted to start this last week, but my LO had a cold, and I had to abandon the process. My LO is, and always has been, a horrible sleeper, and I'm not even sure if the night nursing is the issue, or the fact that after nursing she's not going back to sleep quickly a significant portion of the time--she'll play by herself for as long as an hour before the crying begins. It seems like her circadian rhythm is off somehow because sometimes she's wide awake for hours in the middle of the night and in those instances neither patting, or soothing, or nursing, or anything else but letting her get out of crib and play for a bit seems to help. This latter problem has really started only a week or two ago.

Anyhoo, I'll be trying this again in the coming week now that the cold is about over.

 

[Larkspur]

Just an update: I've also delayed the 'second phase' of the night weaning because LO's nap and evening routine was quite disrupted two days ago, and last night was Guy Fawkes paired with a massive thunderstorm, so he was very unsettled, and I didn't feel it was right to 'push' him either night.

However, I'm down to giving him about 30 seconds to 1 min of milk at each wakeup (last night was just midnight and around 3am) then pressing my finger against the breast, at which point he instantly unlatches, rolls over and goes to sleep. This is extremely good progress!!!

Will update again after tonight, we have a solid, quiet day planned, so will hopefully be able to move onto the next phase tonight. Wish me luck!

 

[littlegreenie]

Well done larkspur. Sounds like it's going well. The last 2 night have bedbugs very good for us too. Sunday she woke 9:30 (didn't ask for a feed) then not again until 3:45 then 4:15, 5 then into our bed 5:45 then slept until 6:20. When she woke at 4 I gave her a feed of about 2 mins on each side. Then little feeds the other times. Yesterday was the best night we have ever had. She went to bed 7:30 and slept until 4pm. She has a long feed then then 3 wake ups until 6. She struggles to settle after 4 but it's such good progress. She looks like she could be coming down with a cold tonight so I will play it by ear and may revert until she's better if needed but I am so surprised by how easy it has been!

 

[Larkspur]

Next update: started the 'no milk' nights!

And again - soooooo much easier than I expected. I put him in his cot at 6.30 (he actually fell asleep nursing because he'd had such a busy day) and he woke up and came in with me just before midnight. I just gave him a cuddle and said, "Sleep time honey, milk has gone night-night" and he let out a couple of outraged squawks, patted my chest and said "MAMA!" and I repeated what I said and ... he just rolled over and went to sleep!

Just before 4am he woke again, exactly the same deal, asleep again within five minutes. Up for the day just before 6am.

He's definitely wanting more milk during the day, so we've been having lots more day cuddles.

We're going away on a short break tomorrow, so I probably won't update for a few days, but if people are still reading, I'll do one when I get back.

 

[Zephram]

Keep the updates coming, sounds like its going really well!

 

[littlegreenie]

Larkspur, that sounds really good. So was last night the first with no milk between 11-6? Sounds like he took it very well! How are you feeling with the extra sleep!
My little one has a cold and I was at work yesterday and have a feeling my mother in law let her have a very late nap as she was very alert and couldn't get her to sleep until 11pm then she was awake every hour. She wasn't up for less milk or being in cot so I gave her milk on demand and let her nurse to sleep. I will wait until she's feeling better and then pick up on this again. Hopefully it won't be long as I felt we were making such progress and felt like last night was back to square one!

 

[Larkspur]

Larkspur, that sounds really good. So was last night the first with no milk between 11-6? Sounds like he took it very well! How are you feeling with the extra sleep!
My little one has a cold and I was at work yesterday and have a feeling my mother in law let her have a very late nap as she was very alert and couldn't get her to sleep until 11pm then she was awake every hour. She wasn't up for less milk or being in cot so I gave her milk on demand and let her nurse to sleep. I will wait until she's feeling better and then pick up on this again. Hopefully it won't be long as I felt we were making such progress and felt like last night was back to square one!

Aw, that sucks. Yeah, I have a bit of a scratchy throat today, and am thinking "Nonononononononooooo don't get sick!!!"

Hope your LO is better soon.

The extra sleep is tripping me out. I woke up in kind of a panic at around 3.30am thinking "OH MY GOD WHERE'S THE BABY". Oh, just hanging out right next to me, snoozing happily.

 

[korndogger123]

I think I am going to try and start this method tonight or tomorrow. I am also going to be transitioning out of co-sleeping at the same time. I hope all goes well. Naomi has NEVER been a great sleeper unless she has boob at her lips all night long. I have been back at work since she was 4 months and I am just tired. I actually wouldn't mind weaning all together as I just glad I made it to a year. (I was very uneducated on BFing and didn't want to do it period) It is nice to read some of the experiences so far.

 

[littlegreenie]

Korndogger did you give it a try last night or will you give it a try tonight? My little one is still recovering from the cold but it's nearly over now. Last night she woke 8:40, 9:30 (no milk requested either time). Then at 3 she woke for an hour was hard to settle do came in to our bed and had 3 lots if milk until 7. Think tonight I should be able to go back to settling her with shushing and patting and limiting milk.

 

[Kristina6292]

Hi ladies, I have read this thread and looked at the link and decided to try give this a go.
ATM my 16 month old is waking between 3 and 7 times a night and will only fall asleep on the breast. The past 2 nights he has fed for a lot less than usual, got off me and laid on his pillow and fallen asleep. Which is unusual for him, although for about 10-20 minutes he'll sit up and look to see where I am and cry if I'm not there, so I've been rubbing his back to get him to sleep.
I will give this a try starting tonight, wish me luck!

 

[korndogger123]

I am going to start tonight, as we have had some busy, not normal nights. But, now we have everything back to a normal pace I am going to give it a go....

 

[littlegreenie]

Good luck korndogger and Kristina. Let us know tomorrow how it goes!

 

[Kristina6292]

Night one went okay. He went to bed at 6, had a feed then laid himself down and I rubbed his back then left
He woke at 11, 3, 4 then up at 6:15. So already am improvement to the usual 6 times.
I only fed him for a few minutes, laid him down and rubbed his back for about 5 mins.