Dreading breastfeeding no2

[amelia26]

When I was pregnant with my first I was certain I would bf. When the birth went really badly and then my son was unwell and in and out of hospital, that just made me more determined. At least I could feed my way.

I thought hard to do and bf til 14 months

The truth is though, I really did not like it. I have flat nipples, particularly on one side. I could get a good latch but only with cross cradle hold and he was constantly on and off. I never managed to feed lying down so I had to sit up whilst he fed for hours every night.
I never managed cradle hold or discreet bf. I have very large beats which got a lot bigger. I had oversupply so whilst he was on and off the boob every feed I would leak and spray all over. This made me extremely self conscious about feeding in public.
I hated the full feeling, being so big and feeling icky all the time from leaking.
I did it because it was best for him so I feel I have to do the same for the next baby but whenever I think about it I just feel overwhelmed with dread.

Not sure the point of this. Maybe someone can relate.

 

[mummy2_1]

Hi hun. Well done for bf for 14 months that's amazing. Especially as it sounds as though u had a terrible time if it and u still stuck with it. I gave up after 3 weeks. I was drained, exhausted, and couldn't get my lb to latch correctly. I had such sore nipples when i expressed my milk was pink from blood. I expressed for a week then turned to formula.

I've decided a head of time when my LG arrives I will feed in the hospital and give first milk, then when I get home I will bottle feed just formula. Im haunted by the first few weeks when my lb was born, it has puy me of bf this time. This is my choice and might only suit me. It let's me feel more in control and prepared.

I'm sure if you were so determined to give your little one the best and stick with bf for 14 months you could definitely survive and bf your next lo.

But should you decide not to bf your new lo do not feel like you have let your lo down in anyway or givwn tour first.child better care or a better start then your next child.

I have Made.my choice ao I can look forward.to my LG coming rather then dreading the upcoming doom that was bf. pg and then labour is scary enough without having to deal.with even more stress and worry.

Your not alone thinking it's hard. You've done so much better then half thr bf horror stories I've come across. U kept going.

It's your choice, you are a fantastic mum either way, what ever u choose

 

[noon_child]

Are there any support groups in your area? You might feel more normal and less self conscious there. It is quite normal for a birth with lots of stress and interventions to have a rockier breastfeeding start but you never know, this time migh be totally different! Just take it day by day knowing that every feed is a triumph but nothing is set in stone.

 

[amelia26]

Thank you for your reply mummy2_1. It was very kind and very balanced!
I'm sorry you had a horrible time with your first. I'm glad you've come to a decision that you feel happy and confident with.

I never suffered badly with cracked nipples etc. I was lucly with that. I'm not sure I could have got through newborn cluster feeding with cracked and bleeding nipples.

In my 14 months I had thrush twice and mastitis once. Cracked nipples once but he was only feeding twice a day by then so I could bare that.

He dropped feeds quickly when he started eating solids. He was on 2 feeds a day from 9 months. I know I couldn't cope to 14 months of he was still feeding very regularly.

Noon-child - I don't drive and the are none in walking distance. I would have to catch at least one bus. I never quite managed that last time but if this baby has less hospital time I might be able to. Most mums I know bf, so it is normal for me. But they just look so relaxed with baby in cradle hold happily feeding whilst mum carries on a conversation. That's so different to my experience!

I know already I won't be able to feed my baby straight after birth because she has complications and requires scans before she feeds at all (she might have problems with her gut - if she does she will need surgery before feeding). She also has a heart problem and may have other issues. She might be fine after having the various tests and scans or we might be looking at a lot of hospital care.

Either way, immediately post-birth won't be ideal for feeding unfortunately.

 

[mummy2_1]

Bless you. I hope your lo is a fighter like it's mummy.

IM so envious.of women who look amazing and care free while bf. They make it look effortless. I waS nothing like this. I would cry when lo latched on. He was a lazy feeder as i didn't realise he wasn't on properly till too late and he wouldn't relearn. I also have quite big bookies. And when my milk came in they nearly doubled. It was horrendous. My lo couldn't take my whole nipple in his mouth and would only take the Tip. Hence the problem latching. I would also have to hold my breast down so he could breath while feeding or he would suffocate as his nose was flush with my breaSt When he latched. So I never had a free hand. I only ever fed sat up and he had a growth spurt during the short.time I fed him. so he was constantly on. Ha I love the feeling I gave him the best bit and he's strong bcos of it.

 

[mrsclt]

Have you thought about combined feeding? Maybe you could express for a few feeds and give formula for others, may help to not over produce. I have flat nipples as well and have to use nipple shields. I hate feeding in public, especially as using the shields can be messy. If in public he gets a bottle of formula or EBM. Just the another option to consider, however don't stress over it. The important thing is that bub is fed and that you enjoy your time with your baby. Best of luck, whatever you decide