Driving myself insane crazy!!

[Lyrah]

Hey my lovlies


Ok, I need to rant/ramble cos I feel real crazy right now and I feel like a complete nutjob!


Basically, after deciding to ttc.. OH and I have both had a re-think on it and think it's best we wait a little longer, as we want to go travelling etc.

This is fine by me as it's probably best that we do wait. However, I feel all weird inside, I feel extremely excited about being pregnant.. except that I'm not?

I just feel weird about this whole thing. I'm scared cos I drove myself so nutty when I wanted a baby sooo badly and it got me very depressed. I don't want to go down that road again until I know it's the perfect time to start ttc. But I feel like I'm starting to get those urges of really wanting to be again.. and it drove OH absolutely crazy, aswell as myself.

I really don't know what to do. I feel down because I'd love a beautiful little human-being growing inside of me..

I ovulate in 5days.. the temptation to not use condoms is huge, but I can't do that because it's a joint decision.. and I know it would probably be better to wait. I've even gone to the extremes of hoping the condom splits or something..

I know that in the end, when I do eventually become pregnant, the wait will all be worthwile. But it's getting me down and I don't know how to control my feelings over it. Am I crazy? I really feel like I am.

I don't know, this doesn't make any sense. It's in a bit of a jumble in my head and I don't know how to explain how I feel or anything.

I guess I just needed to get this off my chest by posting it here, I'm sorry if I've confused any of you guys by this.

 

[porkpie1981]

Hey my lovlies


Ok, I need to rant/ramble cos I feel real crazy right now and I feel like a complete nutjob!


Basically, after deciding to ttc.. OH and I have both had a re-think on it and think it's best we wait a little longer, as we want to go travelling etc.

This is fine by me as it's probably best that we do wait. However, I feel all weird inside, I feel extremely excited about being pregnant.. except that I'm not?

I just feel weird about this whole thing. I'm scared cos I drove myself so nutty when I wanted a baby sooo badly and it got me very depressed. I don't want to go down that road again until I know it's the perfect time to start ttc. But I feel like I'm starting to get those urges of really wanting to be again.. and it drove OH absolutely crazy, aswell as myself.

I really don't know what to do. I feel down because I'd love a beautiful little human-being growing inside of me..

I ovulate in 5days.. the temptation to not use condoms is huge, but I can't do that because it's a joint decision.. and I know it would probably be better to wait. I've even gone to the extremes of hoping the condom splits or something..

I know that in the end, when I do eventually become pregnant, the wait will all be worthwile. But it's getting me down and I don't know how to control my feelings over it. Am I crazy? I really feel like I am.

I don't know, this doesn't make any sense. It's in a bit of a jumble in my head and I don't know how to explain how I feel or anything.

I guess I just needed to get this off my chest by posting it here, I'm sorry if I've confused any of you guys by this.

i totually understand ho hard it is to wait, but do what u think is best for u

 

[orange-sox]

Hey my lovlies


Ok, I need to rant/ramble cos I feel real crazy right now and I feel like a complete nutjob!


Basically, after deciding to ttc.. OH and I have both had a re-think on it and think it's best we wait a little longer, as we want to go travelling etc.

This is fine by me as it's probably best that we do wait. However, I feel all weird inside, I feel extremely excited about being pregnant.. except that I'm not?

I just feel weird about this whole thing. I'm scared cos I drove myself so nutty when I wanted a baby sooo badly and it got me very depressed. I don't want to go down that road again until I know it's the perfect time to start ttc. But I feel like I'm starting to get those urges of really wanting to be again.. and it drove OH absolutely crazy, aswell as myself.

I really don't know what to do. I feel down because I'd love a beautiful little human-being growing inside of me..

I ovulate in 5days.. the temptation to not use condoms is huge, but I can't do that because it's a joint decision.. and I know it would probably be better to wait. I've even gone to the extremes of hoping the condom splits or something..

I know that in the end, when I do eventually become pregnant, the wait will all be worthwile. But it's getting me down and I don't know how to control my feelings over it. Am I crazy? I really feel like I am.

I don't know, this doesn't make any sense. It's in a bit of a jumble in my head and I don't know how to explain how I feel or anything.

I guess I just needed to get this off my chest by posting it here, I'm sorry if I've confused any of you guys by this.

I think you've just said what every single one of us on this board has said/felt at one time or another...

It helps to get things off your chest hun

 

[Lyrah]

Ty both

I just feel very confused? I'm actually in such a muddle over things, I can't get my head around anything.

I really don't know how to cope.. I hate feeling like this, it's like emotionless but full of emotion at the same time? Does that make sense?

I think I'm talking complete rubbish.. in my head it makes sense.. sort of lol.

 

[NickyT75]

Hiya hun

Its up to you as only you know the ins & outs of your personal situation... but in my experience, once you start getting the urge to be a mother common sense seems to go out of the window & these feelings won't go away however hard you try to make them.

You need to decide whats best for you, but bear in mind there is never a 'right time' to start TTC there will ALWAYS be something else (travelling/lack of money etc...)

(and sorry to point this out, but you may not fall pregnant immediately anyway)

Have a little chat with your OH & tell him how you are feeling... maybe suggest not 'actively trying' but just letting nature take its course and seeing what happens?

Good luck hun - I hope you get the outcome you are hoping for xx

 

[LeaArr]

you summed it up rather well, I think. Every month I hope the condom breaks, even though I know the reasons for us to wait.

 

[Lyrah]

Thanks

Everytime I speak to OH about it, he always says something like 'It's not the right time' and that's that, he won't discuss it further. We have a few issues with money at the moment which I hope will resolve soon, I think that's the main reason we're holding back.. but the way I think of it is that it could take quite a few months to get pregnant.. so we'd have a few months (or maybe just one, depending on my body) and then 9months on top of that to sort out any money issues. The longer I wait, the more impatient I get.


Icrepka - Oh phew! I'm glad someone else thinks that too, I thought I was mad for thinking that.

 

[Jewels]

Hi Lyrah!

I agree with Nicky.. You need to take a look at your individual situation and make the best decision for you. Unfortunately there really is never a perfect time to have a baby. There will always be something you'd like to do, but just because you have a little one doesn't mean you can't travel! There may be more planning involved, but it is feasable - people do it all the time.

Good luck with your decision, you will make the right one.

 

[Lyrah]

Thanks

I sometimes have these days where I feel a little crazy about things so I think yesterday was one of those days. I feel happier today.

Hopefully the money situation will be okay soon and then we can start trying properly.

 

[Chris77]

Lyrah,

and welcome!

I know EXACTLY how you feel! It is so hard to wait when waiting is the last thing you want to do and it seems to be on your mind ALL THE TIME!

We're all in the same boat here.

 

[Sambatiki]

Hi Lyrah,

I get confused every month!!! In away I would prefer us to have an accident, just so it took the pressure off the BIG decision.

Hope that you manage to sort everything out.

Kerry xxx