driving myself nuts...:(

[KaeRit21]

hey girls....sorry to post this here but i dont know where else to put it..

i dont know how to post this without sounding like im moaning...so again im sorry

FOB (he was my OH til recently) is a complete lying asshole and i know i should just totally forget about him and concentrate on me and LO, but its getting to me so much that hes out doing what he likes with god knows who (hes told me hes not, but i KNOW he is, so hes been caught in yet another lie)...even though hes been on the phone saying things like "is it really over for us?"...ive already decided hes not worth being with as no one apart from him ever comes first and even when faced with the truth, he still continued to lie to me...

...and im stuck feeling huge, unwanted and alone, in my house with no one to talk to...i dont know whether to cry or scream in frustration...

this was second time round for us, and i should have listened the first time and learned my lesson when he treated me like crap but i didnt and now hes left me with all the same feelings as last time, and im wondering whats so wrong with me and what i did.

im just feeling utterly depressed at the minute and im trying to be happy but hes managing to make me miserable without even being around me.

sorry girls, just needed to vent...


xxx

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

awww darlin, you'll do fine on your own, god ive been alone for ages now and i get down days allll the time, i stil get angry when i think about Lexi's dad gettin away with everythin ive had to do.. you'll be a great mummy single or not.. chin up xx

 

[KaeRit21]

ive got this fear im going to be completely useless, and thatl hel take my LO away

i absolutely hate him, i just wish i could stop thinking about him and about whats going to happen when LO's here as right now, all i can picture is things going wrong and him taking my baby away

ive never cried so much as i have tonight, i hate the inside of this house, and i dont think it helps that im not feeling so good, burning up and feeling faint again.

this night defo sucks


xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

aww
try not to be so hard on yourself! I know how you feel, its hard. I feel the same some days, but then some im fine and happy excited etc. I think you just need to get over him... if you know what i mean, like you obviously still care about him if your thikning about him and get upset etc.. the sooner you have him out your mind the better. LO is the priority, and he WILL NOT take baby from you!! Honestly, if you get ur msn working and try adding me again u'll see i have no life and im on there all the time. I get the depressed lonely feelings, but no point in being mad at him for him wasting his life, hes missing out not you - you get the best thing ever in return for the shittyness of him!! a baby of all of yours!!

And you can move out once baby is couple months old... thats what i am gonna do and i CANT WAIT. honestly, get a good night sleep and have some cake! xxxx

 

[KaeRit21]

thanks hunni, i just feel so down the now its unreal, i wish i could just make him disappear.

dont know what the deal is with my msn, will you PM me ur adress again hun?

i just wish he'd stop lying to me, hes got my head round the twist, and i dont know who to believe or what to believe anymore.

xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

id personally cut him out, ignore him, delete him etc. tell him ull be in touch once the baby is here but untill then u have nothing to talk to him about etc. u dmt meed the stress xx

 

[KaeRit21]

he text me last night after nothing for two whole days, telling me to "give him a break". as if it was ME causing all the stress. asshole, ive told him not to bother texting or coming anywhere near me, ive never hated someone so much in my whole life

xx

 

[suzanne108]

Hopefully one your baby is here you won't need to waste your time thinking about him anymore.

Don't let him mess with your head. I mean I don't know the full story but I'd say to him "its over between us and I don't want you contacting me unless its about the baby". Don't let him text you saying things like "is it really over between us"... if he has treated you like shit then maybe he's feeling guilty and trying to place some guilt on you.

If I was you I'd want to show him how strong I was and that I didn't need him. Show him that you can do all this without him xxx

 

[suzanne108]

Oh I shoulda said....I told my FOB to not contact me unless he wanted to discuss the baby....and I haven't heard from him for 3 weeks!!!!! xx

 

[KaeRit21]

thanks hun...hes an idiot, since i wrote my wee vent last night av since found out more lies...and to be quite honest hes on the brink of losing everything, because after what ive found out, hes not someone i want my baby around...

ive blocked him from my bebo, but hes seen wee ones 3d photo and didnt even comment on it. arrrghhh, the names i could him...why did i ever allow myself to be taken in by him??

xxx

 

[suzanne108]

Its annoying isn't it...I always wonder what I ever saw in FOB but we were together over a year so there was obviously something there. Hard to remember what it was now though!! Just think if it wasn't for those idiots we wouldn't have our lovely little babes on the way

My FOB didn't bother coming to the 20 week scan, said he didn't want a picture either. I emailed him a copy of mine as I was putting it on facebook and I didn't want him to think I was being funny or anything. I didn't even get a reply to the email!! Then his SIL contacted me asking why I hadn't got him a picture!!!! I made sure she knew that I hadn't gotten him a picture because he didn't want one, and that I had sent him a copy via email - that shut her up.

The things men can do amaze me...its like they are completely heartless sometimes. But we will win in the end when we get to spend as much time as we like with our babies!! How sad for them that they have restricted visiting times and don't get to see things like first steps and first words.

Us ladies definitely get the last laugh

xxx

 

[teal]

We will get the last laugh!

At times I still can't believe that my ex could just walk away from his child. I'll never regret having this baby but one day I know it will hit him and he'll regret not wanting to be involved.

 

[KaeRit21]

yea its them that miss out, not us, that first smile, those steps, that word...precious moments that are ours forever and theres never

xxx

 

[lou_w34]

You have just described me and the FOB, its crap, but at least were gaining something amazing, while they are losing out.

I would suggest something, but i pretty much just sit in my house, the same as you, but i know when the LO is here everything will be so worth it =)

Try not to overthink things, then it wont be going around your head so much.

 

[KaeRit21]

thanks hun...i dont know what id do without you girls on here...i honestly dont..


xxx

 

[Sparky0207]

Honey I honestly could have written your first post myself. Was with the father for nearly 5 years, in the 2nd year we split for 4 months but after much begging from him, we made another go of it. How I wish we hadnt!!

Of course ive got my lovely daughter and baby on the way to be thankful for but other than that, hes done nothing but lie, spend all my money and just generally make my life shit. We had our good times, dont get me wrong, but the bad times were truly awful.

Sounds like yours is playing mind games on you too... why do they do it?

If you ever need to chat im here hun and going through exactly the same xxxxx

 

[KaeRit21]

you got it in one. mind games. thats exactly what hes doing, its driving me to the edge ive tried reasoning, ive tried screaming, ive tried ignoring him...now i just hate him.
hes still lying, but then lying again to get him out of being found out,

i know what you mean with the good times, i cant deny there was a few but the bad times definetly out weigh them...

thank u for the support...it means alot to know im not alone

xxxxx

 

[lou_w34]

Me either =)
Though as much as i appreciate everyones support, sometimes its just not enough, I just want a hug and for someone to tell me it will all be fine

I think im having a bad day

 

[KaeRit21]

awwww sweetie , u WILL be fine....im sorry its not a real one

xxx

 

[lou_w34]

Haha thats ok!
I know i will be,
If only i could stop thinking for like a week!!! haha