Dumb!!! Why Did I Break Down?!!!

[mamashakesit]

Argggghhh!!!!!! FOB has been trying to contact me on and off for the last three weeks...since the stroller stealing / Target harassment incident. Today he called my work and left a message with the receptionist, since I haven't been responding to him.

I finally broke down and texted him via my email. DUMB!!! I would have been way better off just continuing to ignore him. He says I need to call him before the baby is born, making me once again second guess my plan to just completely leave him out of the situation.

Why can't I just completely ignore him?!!! It's made my life so much easier...but I just can't seem to resist hashing all this stuff out with him. I'm so mad at myself right now!!! All this has done has eased his conscience that I haven't cut off all contact with him.

He even had the gall to suggest that my calling the police after he took the stroller scared him and pushed him away from me.

 

[jaala]

lol @ the callin the police pushed him away from you bit.

Oh hun, I think its normal to find it hard to resist contact with these *******s.. partially because of our crazy horomones right now... screaming at us "family family family!" Even when our brains know better.. on some level we probably desire that perfect family and just hope beyond hope that they will change and become these amazing dads and bf's or whatever.. at least thats my reasoning why I still talk to my OH bc I know if i didnt have his babies his ass woulda been outta my life a long time ago.. and I try to remember this.
Dont be too hard on yourself ok? Your baba's gonna be here soon and you really don't have to call him before the babies born.. this is YOUR time you did all the work.. your feeling all the kicks and pains.. and dude is just busy stroller stealing.. F em.
***HUGS****
J

 

[lal]

I've done this too, and not just with talking to him, but I've found myself apologizing for being moody (hello - I'm pregnant) when he has not apologized for being a complete a-hole, lying, or ruining the last 6 months of my life. I don't know why we do it, but don't beat yourself up - I just think of it as restarting the self-control timer, and next time, I hope I can go longer without giving in to him, and eventually it will be permenant!

 

[LittleMadam]

Don't be hard on yourself, we all slip up. Remember it's your life so if you want to maintain contact with FOB then that's for you to decide and accept. Just be positive and move forward.

Hugs.

 

[mamashakesit]

Thanks everyone. My family will flip a tit when they find out I'm talking to him again. He wanted to let me know that he finally got off his ass and got a job. Apparently a high paying job in Portland (which is over 5 hours north of me) and he wants me and the baby to move up there with him in a few weeks.

And...as he so eloquently put it "you took care of me the whole summer, so now you get to sit your ass on the couch and and put a tit in my baby's mouth while I pay the bills."

Annoying as it is to admit...besides putting up with his BS...that's my favorite option thus far. Otherwise, I'll end up moving back to Minnesota in the bitter cold of winter living in my parents basement until I can get on my feet. I'm too old for that. And I love, love, love Portland and never wanted to leave Oregon in the first place. Ugh...life was so much simpler when I thought I didn't have any choices.

 

[jaala]

ahahaha he sounds like my ex-OH per verbaitim he would say "I pay all the bills all you have to do is stick a tit in his mouth" referring to our son.
I found with him with that mentality, he would use the fact he made all the money hang over me, (well I was getting mat leave benefits here in canada so I still had some input) but he made it sound Sooooooooo easy all the time to sit with the child 24 hrs a day 7 days a week, he wouldnt help out as he saw child rearing as My job. It was just another way he would belittle me.
Hope you make the best decision for you and your baby.
But I believe once bitten twice shy.

 

[lal]

Oh my...did he say what changed his mind so suddenly? Well it sounds perfect, and you'll have 6 months paid leave, right? So if it doesn't work out you could then have some time to get back on your feet? Hope it does though, keep me posted!