Easy to leave with a baby? longish!

[MummyJade]

Hey

Just wanting some advice...
I am currently with my daughters dad but he moved out so i am with my mum...
We see him once a week maybe twice and thats me traveling to his brothers house (where he is staying).. he makes no effort to come see us.. its usually me ringing him... We never do anything as a family.. always with other people.

He gives me 50 a week for our daughter so i guess thats a bonus... But i just feel like a single parent..

I Just been told i have possible gallstones so if i need a op he will have 2 take tiem off work to help with Maizie.. but i know he wont want to do that cos he will loose money (he has no bills) but i see it as family is family and come first.. maybe i am wrong?

I feel like leaving him but its so hard with Maizie being around.. I love him deeply but i cant go on feeling like sh*t...
Just wondering if any of you lot had been through the same and had any advice?

Also his brother and his wife are building a house and have offered it to me and maizie they said its our house not OH (he wont be moving in)
I just dont know what to do??!!

thanks for reading...
xx

 

[suzanne108]

Wow...so you are still a couple?

Excuse me if this is cheeky, but why did he move out? You don't have to say, it just might help people to give you good advice.

I can't really give you advice I'm afraid but I didn't want to read and run without

Would your mum be able to look after you and help with Maizie after your op? Have you mentioned to him that he might need to take time off work?

xxx

 

[MummyJade]

Wow...so you are still a couple?

Excuse me if this is cheeky, but why did he move out? You don't have to say, it just might help people to give you good advice.

I can't really give you advice I'm afraid but I didn't want to read and run without

Would your mum be able to look after you and help with Maizie after your op? Have you mentioned to him that he might need to take time off work?

xxx

Thanks... Yeah still a couple shocking ay!

He moved out because he didnt like being told what to do or having 2 answer to someone but that kinda changes when a baby arrives...
I gave him the choice to stuck around or leave when i fell pregnant.. he wanted to stay.. but wasnt willing to change... he believes grass is greener... He will change for a few weeks but soon goes back to his ways...

Mum has offered to have time off but i dont believe she should as Our daughter is his responsibility not my mums...

Its happened before when maizie was a week old i had a womb infection couldnt lift or move and he went to work and my mum had to look after maizie.. it hurt because it was like he didn't care...

xxx

 

[suzanne108]

I see what you're saying about Maizie being his responsibility but if I was you I think I'd feel more comfortable if my mum was looking after her.

I will never understand men...why can they just do whatever they damn well want??!!

If you're asking the question should you leave him...I think you need to decide whether you could put up with him being the way he is forever?

Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe if he realised you were thinking of leaving he would try to change. If he doesn't try to change or isn't bothered, then that might be the answer you need.

I hope it all works out for you xx

 

[MummyJade]

I see what you're saying about Maizie being his responsibility but if I was you I think I'd feel more comfortable if my mum was looking after her.

I will never understand men...why can they just do whatever they damn well want??!!

If you're asking the question should you leave him...I think you need to decide whether you could put up with him being the way he is forever?

Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe if he realised you were thinking of leaving he would try to change. If he doesn't try to change or isn't bothered, then that might be the answer you need.

I hope it all works out for you xx

Thank you
Men... weird things if you ask me...

Yeah i have left him before and he had Maizie 2 saturday afternoon and wanted to get back together.. He likes the thought of a family and wants it but he cant grasp it because he has been used 2 doing it alone.. if that makes sense! OH is brilliant with our daughter when he is around thats why i can trust him with her and that would be the one thing that would prove to me it will be worth sticking around for...
thank you for listening xx

 

[suzanne108]

It's a toughie then!!

I don't know what to suggest sorry! xx