Ectopic - MTX - waiting is hell

[Berri]

I found was surprised to get a +ve hpt a few weeks ago (my 3rd baby). Just as soon as I got used the idea it was taken away when the u/s showed it was an ectopic. After speaking to my OB I decided on medical management (methotrexate), due to low hcg there was a delay of 4 days in administering the drug during which time every pang, cramp, spot of blood had my mind racing to thoughts of internal bleeding
Despite that, I held it together...until I got to the hospital where it hit me like a tonne of bricks and I was a blubbering mess.

The days that followed I didn't do much (kids were at my parents). My day 4 hcg showed a big increase (from 202 to 493) but apparently that's "normal".

Day 6 after the injection I nearly passed out at swimming lessons with mr2, made it home but spent the rest of the day in bed. Tried to call hospital to find out if it was a side effect or something more sinister. Couldn't get through to anyone, didn't want hubby to take me (as it would have meant waking the kids). Didn't think it warranted an ambulance.

Today still feeling sub-par I had to go for hcg which I did but I'd also worked myself up into a horrible state and was still worried about the dizziness. Went to ER and they were great. Seen quickly and taken to a room where a nurse waited with me so I didn't have to be alone. Before too long was admitted to short stay, had more bloods drawn and some pain relief. Had beside u/s which showed no free fluid in abdomin/pelvis and later on an internal which showed the "mass" was still in the tube and stable. Hcg down to 411. I've been discharged but need to have more bloods in the morning.

I'm still light headed and have cramps and I'm trying to stay calm. I have been through a lot but this is really really hard between worrying about whether I'm going to rupture and grieving my baby this is just an awful process and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. I am looking forward to the day I'm at 0 and can start getting over this.

Any advice on how to cope in the meantime is welcome.

 

[forevermore16]

Hi, Berri,

I see your post is about a week old now, but I thought there'd be no harm in replying. How are you doing now? Have your levels decreased at all? I am in a somewhat similar situation right now except my levels are very low and they are watching me closely to decide if MTX is appropriate. This is my second loss in a row... not sure if the first was ectopic or not since my body miscarried naturally on that one. This one, I am miscarrying somewhat naturally, but my levels are not dropping as quickly as they want hence the consideration for MTX. I'm worried about getting the shot and I'm worried about not getting the shot

I've found that the best thing for me that helps me cope is distraction. I have a four year old, so I try to play with him and take him places, but I've also found stuff like cleaning and organizing (recently moved) help a lot because I don't have time to dwell on things.

 

[Berri]

Thanks forevermore. My levels have started dropping (now at 146) and I'm starting to feel more like myself again.

The shot wasn't bad but if you are m/c naturally I suppose it's the better option.

I think the not knowing is the hardest part.

I'm back at work but still not cleared for running which is my stress release so not being able to do that is throwing me out too.

Hope all goes well for you and thanks for taking the time to reply!