Emotions going crazy in the 2nd trimester??

[EarthMama]

So after pretty much completely blanking out and ignoring the first trimester, and not even saying the "P" word out loud to people until just a week or two ago (pregnant), I find myself completely crazy in the second trimester.

I'm serious, I am completely irrational.

I don't know if this is because of my 2 previous losses, or what. But I am CRAZY.

I find myself INSANELY JEALOUS, when anyone else announces their pregnancy, especially when they do it early on. I haven't even really announced mine yet!! Ugh. I am jealous that people can be so happy right of the bat for their pregnancy whereas I didn't even consciously start acknowledging my pregnancy until 14 weeks and didn't even discuss it with anyone until last week and I STILL feel weird talking about it out loud!!

I know this is because of pstd from my miscarriages, but I just feel psycho lately. I'm so emotional and it sucks and the jealousy is just silly.

Can anyone relate?

 

[hilslo]

Absolutely! I'm 15w5d and am finding it difficult to tell anyone. I've told my parents and sister at the weekend and I've told my boss. I told him at 6 weeks. He knows about my previous losses so I told him that if it ended badly again I'd need some time off.

Other than that I'm keen to hide it. I've seen some old school friends happily posting their 12 week scan photos on Facebook or even announcing before 12 weeks. I know they are just deliriously happy and probably have no idea how bad it feels to have lost one or more. I so wish I still had that blissful, naive belief that pregnancy = baby 9 months later.

Thankfully this board exists so I know my feelings aren't weird or unusual. I think there are probably a lot of us on here that feel the same.

My bump is starting to do its best to shout itself though. It's getting increasingly difficult to hide!

 

[Topanga053]

Oh yes! Even though I announced at 12 weeks (and that was only because it was the week of our 5 year wedding anniversary and I thought announcing on our anniversary would be adorable), I was terrified that something would go wrong. I wouldn't discuss the future (daycare, etc), until WELL into the second trimester and was still SO JEALOUS of other people's pregnancy announcements. I was envious of their happiness and apparent confidence that everything would work out just fine.

All of that got much, much better for me as my pregnancy progressed, but I will admit that I didn't announce publicly when I was being induced because I was somehow worried about jinxing it and that something might still go wrong, especially if I talked about the induction on Facebook. So needless to say, most of my friends were SHOCKED when all of a sudden I had my rainbow. So anyway, I think what you're going through is completely normal, especially for someone who has had multiple losses!

 

[CastawayBride]

I feel the same way, and feel so guilty for it. With the blighted ovum I don't feel safe in first tri, with loosing our son in the third trimester at 32 weeks....well it makes me feel like pregnancy will never be safe and I want my baby here now.

I am taking it one day at a time but I am already showing (I guess 3 pregnancies in year and half will do that to you!)....I had the first person walk up to me at work and say, "Oh my, are you pregnant?!" I wanted to say NO and buy bigger clothes but then felt guilty denying this little bean. We saw a heart beat, I know I should try to enjoy this, I just am struggling to do so....

 

[celine]

Yes! And castaway i ve also had three pregnancies in a year so yep the weight is on...my edd for my first loss was 6 weeks ago and my second edd for the second loss is in three weeks and just holding a baby on sunday ended up on me crying myself to sleep that night...im a hormonal mess

 

[MissyBee]

I understand how you're feeling, as far as not acknowledging your pregnancy for so long, I was in denial myself that my baby would make it until my gender scan on Monday. However, I told everyone the day I found out, not because I was excited but because I was terrified. I felt like if I was going to suffer the same thing again I would need as much love and support as I could get. So I don't think it's wrong to announce early, or even naive (as I was fully aware things could go wrong, I was 3+4 when I announced) People just have their own reasons for doing things the way they do.

 

[ladyluck84]

I was excited and didn't tell people until after I had been scanned 3 times and even then i would tell people and then regret it. Wondering how I would tell them if I lost